You knew her as the bright bubbly one. A daredevil. She would do and try anything under the sun. She is a sweet person to be around and takes excellent care of herself. A man enters the picture. You then watch your once sunflower of a friend diminish to nothing more than a seed. It begins with not seeing you as much to not seeing you at all because it causes too many problems with the person to whom she clings. While this is not always the case, I have witnessed it too often. It was part of the reason why LadySpeaks began in the first place. Why do women settle for less than what they deserve to the point that they alter themselves in every way shape and form in order to please an entity that will not serve their higher good?
She stops dancing. She stops being herself. Her normal haunts are no longer haunted even though she secretly wants to be there. The family fades into the background and girlfriends vanish entirely. If you do catch her in passing, she does smile and hug you but there is something obviously wrong. I turns into we with misty eyes. There is not much that you can do but watch from afar. If you do choose to wait, if she returns to her true self, welcome her with open arms. I have had the great fortune of doing this. It feels wonderful.
It goes back to the origin of the damn olive that continues to roll. She would rather cling to a man that will sleep with her at night than to be alone. If the knight in shining armor takes you away from the lifestyle that made you happy for the sake of riding his stick of poison, how does this uplift you? When you live under a controlling imp, you crumble and darkness encircles you.
My sister, you die a slow death instead of living a full life. A life that you once knew.