The bubble has entrapped me for ten years now. The same never ending cycle of working on behalf of an agenda that is not my own. I tire of following decisions that are not in my best interest accompanied with a schedule that does not allow me bathroom time. Thirty minutes for a meal is an inhumane gesture.
While hiding my arrow to pierce the illusion that I call a daily routine, my coworker made her escape. Antoinette Brazzle threw all types of caution to the wind and resigned; not a transfer, not a leave. She quit her job as a beloved primary teacher. She would visit the school wearing a wonderful green shirt which displayed her new role as a funeral life insurance agent. My words were never hello or how are you but, “Talk.” There was a reason why she left. Her stress level dropped. Her schedule is her own. She has as long as she wants to taste her food, chew and then swallow as opposed to the nausea inducing inhalation. A smile would cross my face at the mere fact that she found a way out. She popped the bubble and did not look back. If only I could do the same.
Someone suggested following her. I thought it would be a band aid to a larger issue. Is that what I really want to do? Wear a green shirt and sell a product? No, not really. As time went on, my situation remained the same. The bubble is a suffocating place. Nightmares often perturbed my mind as well as bland coffee. A little voice started thinking of..I wonder if I could. Fear stopped me from asking questions but my curiosity remained.
She looked so happy and was really making moves with her transformation. It made me so very happy to watch.
However, the nightmares continued even while I was awake. It was time to deal with my fear and approach Antoinette. How can I work for you?
She arranged a meeting with her manager. It was a morning of sheer inspiration . I registered for the class and started the next day. Post its were purchased and matched to the corresponding highlighters. My printer continued to produce notes for me to study and analyze. My voice would be heard asking questions, while writing down key words on note cards. The information was foreign and often overwhelming. It was not long before I realized that in retrospect, I could have applied myself more in school. This was a true throwback to my days of pure academia. However, the class kept emphasizing progress. I learned so much and felt robbed because it was not included in my collegiate studies; not my undergrad, not my graduate.
The day of the test found me in a bit of a mode. What was going to happen here? When would the results be ready? Am I as prepared as I could be? I prayed. I thought about supportive people. Antoinette called me the morning of to wish me well; it made me feel so very incredible. The results were ready as soon as I completed the exam. The word pass appeared to the left of the paper. An inner glow began to spread. This signaled the opening of a whole new world. My arrow is no longer in hiding. The bubble is going to be pierced.
Antoinette Brazzle
Funeral Life Insurance Agent
E: [email protected]