The hole was hungry, and I was the food. There was no way out. Everything that I tried failed. Resources where withering away. Appointments were rescheduled. Merchandise sold but the funds were on hold. People wanted to book for their events but had to review sponsorship. Waxing and the cleaning lady were canceled. Suddenly, food became an alarming issue along with gas. Bills fell to the wayside. At least the mortgage was paid. There was nothing else for me to do.
Under normal circumstances, a grown woman in such a dire situation would reach out to her significant other or even her family for assistance. There is not a significant other, and my mother chooses to look down at me as a peasant. The women on Biscayne Blvd and 70th street came to mind. While trying to remain calm, I knew that there had to be people that I knew that would object to such thinking. I reached out to them. Cash App dinged within seconds.
This is called survival mode. As each passing minute slides by, I have to figure out how to take care of all of my responsibilities. It can be a rather overwhelming situation which can leave a girl feeling hopeless and completely alone. Fortunately for me, there are a trusted few that refuse to let me hit rock bottom without a pillow. All I have to do is have enough food and gas until next week Thursday. I can do this.


It was two years ago when I realized that I had more to offer than what I was doing. I had always been under the impression that I had a side career as a musician that helped me with everything in life. It was a personality clash with a wedding coordinator that prompted me to make a statement. I did not study music my entire life to simply be the background music for a wedding. There is much more to the life of a musician. I had developed a talent for improvisation while on the job, and decided that it was high time that I did something with it. The result was my debut cd: “THE BEGINNING”. My world was suddenly filled with photo shoots, editing sessions, and composing. I funded the entire thing myself. It was something that made me proud of myself.

It was around this time that I began to see things differently. I realized that there were countless businesses that I supported: food, gas, dance, hair, nails, clothes, mailing supplies…it dawned on me that I used to have a company. Why, I even received a scholarship in college to attend a womens’ business center so that I could learn more about the world of business. Unfortunately, due to the hardships of life, it went by the wayside. Since it wasn’t my main source of income, there wasn’t a major issue because of its vanishing. Now, I realized that I wanted it back. I needed it so that I could refine my mission and go forward. It took a year before it was mine again. It felt great to see my business name once again.

Since then, I have taken business classes, massaged former clients, reached out to new ones, and have managed to acquire an assistant. Her efforts alone have helped me a great deal in attempting to streamline my life. I still maintain two jobs and try to live as much as possible. Such juggling can be quite difficult. Her presence is a present from the creator. She shall be front and center at my recital next month selling my tank tops that as well as my cds. There are plans for a second cd as well as artistic collaborations. Since 2010, I have composed and performed for dancers, poets, and artists. Why, I even wrote music for a theatrical production.

This is not to say that the road has been free of obstacles. There are some months when my phone does not ring for any engagements. Incoming checks do not always arrive on time. Contracts are cancelled due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control. I tire of people asking me to perform for free or for a reduced rate as if I do not have a mortgage that does not afford me such luxuries. Sometimes, I just want to take a nap instead of fighting traffic to be on time for an engagement. The flip side is that I have more of a say in what I am doing because I am in charge. That alone give me a feeling of satisfaction that I do not have during the day.

How long have I had to take directions from someone else or conform to something that no longer serves me? The day that I realized that I was stuck in the Matrix was a sad day. While I was asleep, life was fine. Once I realized that my situation no longer served me, my discomfort became unbearable. I am still making strides towards fixing my predicament; however, the road is hard and slow moving. It is not impossible. In my heart, I know the time will come for that complete break through moment which I desire so very much with all of my being.

It pleases me to be able to have resources at my fingertips that are able to provide me with assistance with just about everything in my life. I have begun to offer some of these resources as workshop presenters for Lady Speaks. A guest astrologer is with us during the month of October, and Raks Chakra is visiting as well. I have seen the need for mothers to understand more about how their children learn and a local educator that is currently finishing her studies as a doctoral candidate has agreed to do a workshop with this subject matter.

I wanted to share these sentiments with all of you this morning because of my realization. Anytime that I have had the courage or even the mere notion that a change was required and my foot had to be stomped on the ground in order to make it happen, I have seen progress and felt joy. Many of you have reached out to me about this insurance company that will not go away. The second mistake that I have made with them is that I have continued to entertain what they need to say after I have voiced that I am no longer interested. Why? I am afraid of being perceived as rude or a person that isn’t nice. Well, where has being nice gotten me in this situation? Let’s go back to my cd. I created that because of a situation that brought me to tears. I was able to take something that made me feel horrible and turn it into a beautiful situation for myself. The feedback that I have received from my music has been that of a standing ovation.

Now that I think about it, this is the day after the Fall Equinox. What better time to reflect upon regeneration, rebirth. Certain names come to mind: Kali, Oya, Demeter, Persephone. The seasons are in transition. The sun will not be as dominant anymore and will begin to give way to shorter evenings and cooler temperatures. The leaves will change colors and fall away from the trees. It is time to look into the other side of ourselves. Darkness does not mean evil. Our shadows are a part of us and do not exist without the light. What strengths lurk there that often go unnoticed?

Maybe you have something that you want to share with people or offer on a grander scale. You owe it to yourself to look into it. We as women spend so much time supporting everything and everyone else with little to no regard for ourselves. There is never going to be a good time for you to invest in yourself. You have to choose to make the time and guard it. There are people that get extremely jealous because they see others doing what they have not done for themselves. My response to that feeling is that you can not be upset for not seeing the results for the work that you choose not to do. Oh, its too hard. Life is hard but you are still living it…or existing, which one? You have only to see this desire in yourself and share it with the universe. Help will appear. You may not even recognize it when it does, but do not let that hinder your efforts. Find your resources and build your support group. TRY! Failure means that you made an attempt.

I was told to do a blog back in 2008, but never gave much thought to it. It took the words of a dear friend that had a heart to heart with me. She said that I only discuss certain things with certain people. Why not share that information with a larger audience with the correct platform? Go out there and find it because you can. Your voice is loud and strong. That was last summer. Now, here I am blogging away, creating circles, and sponsoring workshops. Women contact me with all sorts of situations, and I am more than happy to assist. Why, I even have a budding male following.

When the year started, I was getting ready to return to my day job and take a nap. Be your own inspiration and positive people and things will rally around you. This is not something that I have read. It is something that I am living. I am going to list my upcoming events with this post. They are also listed on the classes page. If any of them speak to you, please feel free to contact me for more information. Walk your truth and be your light.

Intro to Astrology Class $25/$30 Sunday, October 7 4-5pm
Autumn Recital Sunday, October 28 5:30pm
Raks Chakra coming soon…..
Multiple Intelligences (TBA)


It was the week before work was suppossed to resume. I was still dealing with the aftermath of my accident and now the reality of being stressed out again was quickly dawning on me. My cell phone rang. It was a man that knew my name. He requested a meeting with me at my workplace to discuss the deductions of my check and matters along the lines of 401ks. I didn’t make anything concrete as far as plans and decided to deal with it later. Later came.

I had just finished a four hour meeting and was quite aggravated by an insurance company that was bullying me in addition to a referral company that felt the need to contact me about them possibly making money off my misfortune. My assigned space wasn’t even available to talk to anyone and I had to move to my coworker’s room. I tried to avoid the meeting and finally succumbed. My cell bill was lowered. I didn’t fork over any information as far as bank accounts but did agree to listen to the full presentation at a later date. In the meantime, I had to meet a friend on the other side of town whom was awaiting me. The coming weeks began to change everything.

The first week back at work was surreal. Here I was again. I had taken my lavender plant to work and a plate of crystals to help ease my tense atmosphere. I was willing to try anything to stay positive about my somber predicament. Phone calls to my cell went unanswered as I would sink into oblivion from sheer exhaustion after work. The schedule finally got into full swing, and I realized that the full presentation at a later date was not in the cards for me. Especially since I was considering changes in my life. When my coworker called, the first red flag was thrown down.

She said that the 40lk guy wanted to talk to me about something important. I knew that he was standing next to her trying to get her to convince me to talk to him. The truth of the matter was that I was about to start yet another block on my schedule and there was no way that I was about to broach anything important with anyone. The next day, I explained the situation to her. She informed me that he wanted to know if I sounded sincere with my current happenings. The second flag was thrown down.

My mind started to wonder how these individuals got a hold of my number to begin with. My personal information is suppossed to be confidential. Furthermore, if your product is so great, why do you feel the need to ambush people at work when they have just finished dealing with everything and need a minute to breathe? I certainly do not need to discuss financial matters in such a wide open forum. Who is this man to question my co-worker on my life?

I realize that I do need to take responsibility for having a change of heart and not expressing that. However, I have taken the time to analyze the entire situation and wish to present it as a lesson for myself.

It is easy for me to know when there are going to be periods of time (for the most part) that are not great for me as far as functioning: menstral cycle, Mercury in Retrograde, certain times of the year at work. These are not times in my life when extra things should be on my plate or even presented to me. However, this has taught me that there needs to be a buffer around the times for those pesky things that will fall through the crevices and simply clog the plumbing system of my life. Under the circumstances which I was facing a month ago, there was no way that a financial decision should have been entertained. Furthermore, given the tactics that have been employed during this small ordeal, it is not in my best interest to be involved with this company. It would be wise of me to question anyone that wants to make it easy for me to part with my hard earned money. What is in it for them? Why are these men constantly showing up at the workplace trying to convince people to do this? I shrink away, off to my next appointment….

I took responsibility for the fact that I never voiced my change of heart. I contacted the proper associate and informed him of my decision not to move forward. Approximately ten minutes later, his supervisor calls to nicely manipulate me into another meeting. I said that such a gathering was impossible because I was dealing with issues. That wasn’t good enough. I politely interrupted and said that my hellatious day had led to neck pain that had now consumed my head once again and I couldn’t reach my doctor to resolve the issue; this conversation was something that I could not deal with right now. That still wasn’t good enough. What am I going to do next you ask me? Its simple.

The fact that someone else has to make a comission off the fact that I may write a check is not in the cards for me nor does it serve my purpose. The sooner that I release this situation and approach it differently, it may not bring as much annoyance to me. After all, I did get myself into this and it is left to me to get myself out of this. I shall contact my phone company shortly to block these numbers from contacting me in the future. The next step is to inform my boss that I am being harassed at work by people that somehow have access to the property. If approached physically, which I have been forewarned of, a firm no shall be executed.
These men have been trained in the art of manipulation as if they are doing me a favor because they truly want to help me. This is something that I shall remember when dealing with this in the future.