My mother has been doing better with the mourning process. She has remained as social as ever and attends to daily matters. She did not speak about my father as much as she did in latter months. Physical ailments began to plague her and trips to the physical therapist began. Since I have my own history with physical issues, I asked about massages. She was not receiving any. I thought about how a massage therapist worked on me shortly after Daddy passed away. She volunteered to work on me as a way to help me with the tremendous loss. It was such a kind compassionate gesture. We became friends after that. Naturally, I thought it would be great if she could work on my mother; it was a surprise.
We met at my mother’s house all the way down South. Upon introducing my mother to my friend, it was explained that she was a massage therapist. Mommy’s face quickly crumpled into a questioning expression, “Who is getting a massage?”. She was not expecting the massage or the live harp music that I was providing during her session. I had done this same thing for her many years ago with the assistance of my father. I told him what I wanted to do. He said okay, not to worry about anything. Mommy was dressed for the massage therapist when she arrived and to this day, I do not know what Daddy said to her.
As the session got under way, the repertoire included many of the songs that Daddy enjoyed. It was natural for me to perform Mommy’s favorite Adagio Cantabile. Upon hearing it, she asked me to play it again. We soon heard a lot of sniffling. The music continued as the massage worked its magic. Fortunately, we had convinced her to have a session for 1.5 hours. She needed every minute of it. Upon completion, my friend, and I sat on my mom’s bed and chatted for a while. Mommy was fast asleep which was good because that was another issue since her loss. She was out for a good fifteen minutes before she rustled a bit. We told her to stay put and take her time.
It was amazing to witness such a healing take place. My friend felt so honored to have been a part of my family during this significant time. She was a good fit based on her compassionate heart. Mommy was able to do a lot of releasing on that table. I can only imagine the pain that she still experiences with such a tremendous loss. Mommy talked about my father for the remainder of the day which is something that she had stopped doing as much. It is my intent to help her get more massages on a regular basis.
Because we enjoyed the process so much, my friend and I are thinking about creating a package that offers this service to the general public. We felt as if we wanted to receive such a wonderful gift ourselves. The music was heartfelt and the massage allowed so much to be let go. What a gift.
These days find me in place where I am not as introverted. Talking to people is very pleasant, and alone time isn’t craved as much as it was before. It is also my belief that long periods inside the house are troublesome for me. After an evening performance with an appreciative audience, my mother wasn’t responding to my calls. Alas, this left me no choice but to return to my home all by my lonesome.
Thoughts of the Oreo cookie cake filled my mind as my instrument was unloaded. Perhaps there would be a good movie on Netflix. The FB messenger indicated that a friend wanted me to go to the drum circle. It had been quite some time since I attended one. As a smile crossed my made up face, beach attire was put together and out the door I went.
I nestled into the sand and gazed at the beauty of the full moon overlooking all of us. The pull of her glory simply captivated me. My father crossed my mind as if he were sitting next to me admiring the moon too. It made me smile. He probably has a new perspective of everything on earth and the universe. My friend soon arrived and we made our way to the drums. It was there that we unleashed the shimmies and the shakes; there is something ancestral about a drum that just makes you want to be a part of the rhythm.
It is important to have that one friend whom you ask those questions. When you awake perplexed about a mass epidemic that really shouldn’t bother you as much as it does, you pick up the phone and call that one person. The one that has an understanding of the world and how you look at it. She knows that you are passionate, vocal, shy, and ecclectic because these are the qualities that she has herself. Because you walk similar paths of being eccentric, she will go back and forth with you on the most insane of subjects. She is the first to throw a red flag and the last to cast a stone. She would never be your maid of honor because she has to plan the wedding. She cracks you up and leaves you gasping for air at her constant comments of how generalized the world has become. When it is all said and done, you thank god that she is in your life and hug her constantly because she is such a wonderful gem of radiant light. Every woman should be lucky enough to have a sister of this nature.
You knew her as the bright bubbly one. A daredevil. She would do and try anything under the sun. She is a sweet person to be around and takes excellent care of herself. A man enters the picture. You then watch your once sunflower of a friend diminish to nothing more than a seed. It begins with not seeing you as much to not seeing you at all because it causes too many problems with the person to whom she clings. While this is not always the case, I have witnessed it too often. It was part of the reason why LadySpeaks began in the first place. Why do women settle for less than what they deserve to the point that they alter themselves in every way shape and form in order to please an entity that will not serve their higher good?
She stops dancing. She stops being herself. Her normal haunts are no longer haunted even though she secretly wants to be there. The family fades into the background and girlfriends vanish entirely. If you do catch her in passing, she does smile and hug you but there is something obviously wrong. I turns into we with misty eyes. There is not much that you can do but watch from afar. If you do choose to wait, if she returns to her true self, welcome her with open arms. I have had the great fortune of doing this. It feels wonderful.
It goes back to the origin of the damn olive that continues to roll. She would rather cling to a man that will sleep with her at night than to be alone. If the knight in shining armor takes you away from the lifestyle that made you happy for the sake of riding his stick of poison, how does this uplift you? When you live under a controlling imp, you crumble and darkness encircles you.
My sister, you die a slow death instead of living a full life. A life that you once knew.
A woman has many layers that compose her. She is multi-faceted and as diverse as the drops of water that make up the ocean. The women that are able to draw upon their strengths, understand their flaws and always work on themselves in an effort to hear their own vibration in the universe.
What if you are reading that paragraph and wondering how it applies to you? Is that because you do not know what your strengths are? Maybe you are unaware of your flaws as well OR you are too familiar with them. Let us draw a road map together.
When your friends call you for advice, what are they calling about? Is it cooking? Maybe baking. Is there something that you enjoy and pursue just for the fun of it? That is your passion and you should use it to your advantage. Learn everything that you can about it and stay current. Do not forget to apply your knowledge whenever possible so that you can stay sharp.
There are certain topic or areas that make you feel uneasy because you simply do not like them.
My nemesis is math. I do not believe that numbers are my friend. How do I cope as an adult?
I know people that are good with math. They are the ones whom I address with such questions in order to improve my comprehension. You would be surprised to know how many people are eager to explain things to you.
I have recently discovered the need to streamline my work. It came to my attention that my harp music can be combined with my womens’ work especially with angels. They compliment each other. This instrument resonates well with their realm. I have begun to include it in healings and meditations much to the delight of my clients. I have even performed in workshops as the music source while women shimmied and undulated to balance their chakras. The meeting of both passions can make for a unified healing effort that can help women improve themselves while connecting parts of me.
Now, what about the minor parts of you that may need some attention? Maybe you have a pesky ring of fat that simply will not leave your midsection in spite of the fact that you are working out and drinking water. Your diet is also at a peak. Do not put that ring on the back burner. Bring it to the forefront! Speak with a nutritionist to see if your diet is the one that you should have for your body requirements. You may need a different workout schedule or form of exercise that will melt that ring while including the rest of the body. You may be a spinner and a treadmill person but have you gone into the step aerobics class? You may swim and walk around the block but have you gone on the reformer? There are true fitness professionals out there. They love discussing such things. Engage them in conversation.
If you wake up one day and realize that your circle of friends has vanished, well then you have some work to do. Where do women connect with each other? EVERYWHERE! Facebook is a popular meeting ground. Attend a class that you have an interest in. Many women also become friends because of their worship practices. You can also attend a Circle of Sisterhood.
There are so many wonderful things about a woman that can enhance the world. During the spring, I was having a conversation with someone and she was explaining something to me. When she was finished, I burst into a heartfelt I love you. She responded with sheer joy. Needless to say, we are now friends. Kindred spirits tend to find each other very easily. These are the little moments of genuine feelings that become cherished memories.
Change is always to be expected. This is the natural flow of life. Sometimes, change can be a wonderful transition that goes well. At other times, change may bring about quick things that upset a flow before one has a minute to prepare. I found myself in the latter situation just yesterday. It caused such an uproar that I fled the scene before I said something that I would later regret.
I found myself seeking the sanctuary of a quiet spot in nature away from the scene of terror. It was there that I sat for a long period without any regard for the clock. Sometimes, a Lady needs a minute. Well, this was a long minute. Various thoughts ran through my head as it continued to dawn on me that my reality was changing and indeed I was being pushed towards something that was more suitable for the woman that I now recognize myself to be. Tears of frustration and anger flew from my eyes as I wrapped my mind around the realization that this was not going to be an easy transition. However, if it is going to truly mean anything to me, why would it be easy?
My internal voice called to the angels to help me. It was not my intent to consume something unhealthy for my body as I had been cooking healthy meals all week. Shopping for fun was also not a good idea. In the process of desiring a more positive outlook in the middle of a storm, I found myself wanting to spend time with a certain ray of sunshine that hadn’t glowed around me for a little while. Alas, my tears dried, and my prayers brought me some relief. It was later that day that I received a phone call from that ray of sunshine requesting my presence. I voiced what I needed, and it was given to me. Fortune is truly mine. This is how I combat thoughts that do not serve me. I ask for help to have them taken from me.
Aside from that day, my time has been spent working on what I want to do regarding my womens’ mission. A lot of progress has been made in that a mission statement was clarified to the point that I was able to post it for public viewing. As I finalize workshops for the remainder of the year, I have already begun to speculate about the goals for next year, and how I plan to grow with my work. My team now includes a vegan pagan that provides us with tips on healthy eating as she eats based on her intuition and the needs of her body; this concept is important to me and should be shared. All of these happenigns have been combined with Fall crafts and readings so that I can continue to be artistic while providing people with that extra insight and support that the angels give to everyone. I have begun working with another archangel which has clarified my purpose and fueled my enthusiasm.
As I survey my weekend, I look forward to the workshops that will be happening: Business Reflections by Lacey Hudson and Raks Chakra(Simbiya) with the Lady of Harp. Why, I was even asked to do a mini-circle at the end of the business workshop; this brings me great joy as I shall present a meditation that I developed for the heart. Work that is done for the benefit of others is quite rewarding as the investment is worth more than green paper. Both women are masters within their fields and bring a wealth of knowledge to all that welcome it. The learning process is always in motion and can truly help a woman in creating new realities for herself. The hour is late. I wish to paint my toenails, stretech, and commune with the angels before a proper slumber.
(P.S. For more information on the current workshops or celestial readings, please email me: [email protected])
After I found myself, my life changed drastically. People that I thought were friends turned out to be the biggest enemies and had to be released from my life. It was one of the best things that could have happened for me. A new body had emerged and a sound sense of self took over. The longing in my heart for a better understanding of what was missing had finally been found after thirty some odd years and it all started with a photo shoot for new business cards. The journey has been an amazing one and the traveling continues. The one thing that hasn’t changed is my career(this career shall remain nameless for now).
For about four years now, I have been very unhappy. Most times, I did not even know what to do about it because I felt trapped with no where to turn. Many a day came when I would just burst into tears on the way to work. It did not help when I was constantly being told that I should be thankful for my job or many people would love to be in my shoes. My health began to diminish as my body began to reject what no longer suited me. The time came for me to seek professional help in the form of career centers, the library, and other people that had made successful transitions. I joined career groups on Facebook. I took assessments and business classes in the hopes that I could better understand my different sources of income. I even requested a radio show about this very topic and got it. The outline that I created with my reflections was so wonderful that I am considering presenting it as a workshop..(stay tuned for details).
During the summer, I received a very good suggestion. I had a hidden passion that was only shared with certain people. Well, the suggestion was to find a way to share that passion with everyone on a loud platform. Do not be afraid to speak my mind and tell the world. The beginning of that was this blog. The physical part of it is the Circle of Sisterhood. The rewards have been amazing. My life has been enriched, clarity has come to me, and I feel as if my path is a big open road leading to my true life purpose. Topics that I used to keep to myself are now the very things that women call me on the phone about. I execute workshops, facilitate the circles, and provide feedback during readings. I am a fortunate Lady.
In spite of all of this, I was not going to write about career transitions until this morning. My newest friend is very special to me, and I do not think that she knows that yet; but she will soon:) She gave me some very sage advice this morning. My ears focused on her words because they stemmed straight from her heart. Since she had already been in this very situation, she stood in a place of great knowledge and freely gave me her pearls of wisdom. The most important thing that I took from the conversation was the sisterly love that I felt. There is support for my feelings of being misplaced and longing to move on. It shall happen according to the master plan. My heart is open to the needed change, and I work towards fulfillment in this particular arena.
In the meantime, my message from this post is simple: hone your talents. If you have a hidden passion, this is the time to reveal it to yourself or even the world. No matter how small you may think it is, others may benefit from what you consider second nature. As you give, you too shall truly receive on an entirely different level. A level of clarity, a level of purpose…a true heartfelt connection to the universe.