Building Boundaries

She has been using me left, right, and center; my beloved best friend. I was not aware of the situation. I thought that I was helping her instead, my kindness enabled her disease. My lack of boundaries and willingness to assist left little time to myself. One day, I found a spiritual path that truly spoke to me. All of my time was consumed with reading about it overnight. Drum circles and acupuncture appeared. Suddenly, my schedule changed. There was no time for me to visit her at work. I had to go home and read.
The phone rang one day. The demand for me to contact someone on her behalf came through when my voice interrupted with confusion. “Why don’t you call Carlos?”. Instead of calling me to call him for you, why don’t you call him directly. She was stunned and responded with the cover that, “I don’t have his number…” which was a complete lie. How is it possible that you spend thousands of dollars with someone and you do not have their number? I told her to hang up and sent it to her. My activities resumed completely unaware of what just transpired. In retrospect, that was the first time that I put a boundary in place.
Another day, while talking on the phone, she needed to make a call. Instead of excusing herself to handle her business, she asked me to call for her. Why do I have to make a call for you? Does it have anything to do with me? Didn’t we already handle this? My response was swift. “I can hang up so that you can make your phone call”. She persisted. Since my words were not honored the first time, I simply repeated myself with more emphasis. “Well, I can hang UP…..so that YOU…can make your phone call..”. She finally relented and ended our call. Second nail in the coffin. She was beginning to realize that I would no longer deal with her bullshit.
Our friendship eventually ended because she betrayed me as a last resort of control. It backfired to her surprise. I was no longer the same person that she met and could not be handled anymore. She was dismissed from my life without so much as a bon voyage party. Eight years of so called friendship and I did not even miss her. I blocked her number last year along with her sister. Apparently, both of them were still trying to contact me about what, I do not know.