SOME MEN ARE CLUELESS

After being in the house all day, I was quite frantic to get out into the world. The movies did not hold anything promising, and all of my friends are otherwise engaged. I settled on the idea of conducting some research at the library.

There I was browsing through some books in the study section when all of us heard the distinct loudness of a fart being ripped about two aisles over. The public enemy had the nerve to continue moving with this loud obnoxious behavior and worse yet, came over to where I was. Luckily, I had shut off the oxygen to my lungs so as not to inahle the toxic fumes. I soon moved to safer grounds away from the attack.

As I pranced to my car, I saw a creature with whom I had crossed paths with while in the library. It was then that I heard, “What is it, boyfriend problems? Work? We could ride around in my car….”. I soon found myself in hot pursuit of my car in order to get away from the unwanted hit from someone that had no idea how to talk to a woman. Between the farting and the unsolicited attention, I was truly out down by the male species. Is this what I am suppossed to produce as a companion this Thursday?

Lines are not necessary. If you find me attractive, simply walk up to me and speak the truth.
My name is Pascal, and you are quite beautiful. I was wondering if we could exchange numbers for a possible tea? Here is my card. Simple. To the point. Honest. Lack of Olympics. All of the other antics are simply not necessary nor do they increase the chances of the man getting a phone number.