It has been about a year since I departed from my miserable full time position.  I was burned out and hopeless.  Jeans had replaced workplace attire, and leave was a blessing.  My resignation was a reason to celebrate.  It was finally over.

My self employment journey has been fraught with obstacles.  Checks do not arrive at the same time every two weeks.  Insurance is my responsibility.  Performing requires more man power.  Between handling my own social media, amplification, and preparation, there is more going into a simple performance than ever before.  Clients do not always choose me as there are so many choices out there.  The budget isn’t always the robust punch that would benefit my account.  These fears kept me locked into my full-time since 2009.  The pandemic took me to the ultimate limit and with the impending resignation of my boss, there was no way to continue.

I was able to pick up a temp position at a cultural arts center which gave me new life.  My role as a site coordinator for a production gave me a renewed sense of purpose while keeping connected to the arts.  My mortgage is being paid.  Unfortunately, the end of the tour is on the horizon along with the next mortgage.  I do not go out.  Cooking is the sole option.  Waxing, nails, and even the beach fell away from my life.  Estranged from my family and single, my sole resource is myself.  There are too many limitations placed on me due to the lack of funds and being broke is not my ammo or my strong point.

In an act of desperation, I found myself applying for a job at a local charter school.  The idea of continuing at this level of broke is more than I can take.  Part time, full time, and a possible roommate are all considerations in addition to the business.  Drastic?  Maybe.  Unfortunately, resources are not available to me.  There is no trust fund or a rich relative that can swoop in and save the day.  By the same token, there are two degrees on my wall that accompany a decent resume.  Community outreach or program coordination have my attention but I remain open to all of my immediate possibilities.  I move forward as a ball of nerves and with great uncertainty.  The only thing that I have is that I can fix this situation in time.  There is not a lot of it left.