Rejection: Two Way Street

I can’t give you what you want. You should meet someone else. My response was in agreement with the instructions, and my life continued happily. Approximately nine months later, the same individual asked me for a sexual encounter. When I did not respond with bells on, the insane antics began. Furious text messages began at 8am. An offer for a date ensued. My state of shock was translated with no text back. Two days later, an early morning text informed me that I was receiving a visit later on that day. A shower would be taken first and then I would be greeted with company. Two screenshots were sent to my friends because I was now scared for my safety. Later that day, my presence was elsewhere as planned. There was complete and utter shock because I was not at home awaiting an unwanted visitor with my legs agape. Remember, I was the one that was rejected. This is what ensued.
My former girlfriend informed me that she was moving out of my home. It felt as if a bullet was going through my body. Despite the pain, I stood up and exclaimed that I thought it was a brilliant idea. It was not a full ten minutes before she broke into tears begging to work things out. A look of sheer disgust appeared on my face. I helped her move out and told her to never contact me again in life…for anything.
The last foray into the land of romance completely confused the entire hell out of me. She never had time for me. She would ghost me when we had plans. There was never a moment when we could just be together. She left me. It is almost a year later and she is still trying to contact in spite of the numbers that I have blocked. She claims that she misses me. She wants to talk. By now you have seen the trend.
What is the phenomena with being pushed all the way out of a life, only to be pursued relentlessly. When I am told that my presence is no longer needed, that is exactly how I take it. It is my responsibility to accept the rejection for the blessing that it is. It is time for me to heal and take time for myself so that I can deal with getting over whatever the relationship was and at some point try once more. Why on earth would I try to convince another party to stay with me? A decision has been made without any consultation or consideration for me. You made this decision in your best interest. Why the pursuit? Why should I now honor your feelings of loneliness or demands for contact?
Flowers, cards, teddy bears…all of them were left on my porch. A video hit my cell phone. Calls from a friend of hers kept coming in. Block and block. It seems as if rejection is hard to take from the very people that dole it out. This is something that is difficult to understand. Perhaps one day I will meet someone that is mentally stable enough to handle their own emotions. Finding a mate that is clear about what she wants has proven impossible. Have I given up hope? Well, let’s say for now that my focus is on other things…..

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