I was gifted with two tickets to attend Thou Art Woman: Love & Lust edition.  Whom should I ask?  Decisions.  Whom would appreciate the atmosphere?  It had been years since I attended and would be my re-entry into a community that I had somewhat distanced myself from; bad romantic relationships had dissolved what little faith I had left.  I decided to attend and immerse myself in the world of sapphic BIPOC women once more.

Conversations were struck up with me as I waited forever for a non-alcoholic beverage.  As I wandered into the main even room, appetizers & dessert were most welcomed.  It is not every day that I get to partake in guest activities due to my life as a musician.  The room began to swell with every rainbow representation.  Memories of yesteryear began to resurface.  Outfits and appearances were quite the observation.  As the show began, burlesque reigned supreme as the main theme of the evening.  While the performances were superb, that much skin has not been seen in a very long time. I felt like I was six.  My sprite kept me refreshed as I reached for my sweater to warm myself.

One host mentioned top surgery while another thanked her girlfriend for the support.  The need for the non-profit to continue to provide us with spaces was explained.  A further reach with vast services was broached while we listened with vigor.  Being back was a moment for me.  There were a few faces that I recognized as my friend made business connections.  I made a beeline for KFC as I left due to my mounting hunger.

It felt great to be out on a Friday night in a space that completely addressed me as a person.  Arts and black women.  The question that I ask myself is, will I continue to seek out such endeavors or will I simply shrink into my labyrinth of a life?  There are health concerns that need to be addressed again, and the matter of continuous employment.   As a recovering educator, the only thing that I miss is direct deposit and health insurance being handled without so much of my involvement.  It is easier to stay occupied with all of these anxiety driven issue vs. building community with people that may have the same interests.  Only time will tell what my plan will be.  Bad memories have created fear.  By the same token, facing life alone on a regular basis is not suggested.  No one knows how much time I truly spend by myself.  It is not something that I relish but a reality.  Most of my days are based on remote work with limited outside activity due to finances.  My outlook is tainted on this topic.