When this year began, mixed feelings ran rampant. My broken heart lay all over the floor while spiritually, an elevation began. Frustration, confusion, and inner chaos ruled the world. My job was dreary and there were little to no performances. As the summer crept upon me, I looked at my favorite season with dead pan eyes. I threw myself into a new endeavor. Studied. Highlighting. Questions. Passed the test. Green shirt and all. Motivation & encouragement. Being around emotionally intelligent people was completely new to me.
Hurricane season beckoned a return to my regular day job. I was less than enthusiastic but the mortgage awaits no emotion. My mind focused on the student appreciation from last year and how much little hearts sang for music. Compositions were arranged for their delight. Funding suddenly appeared for a project. The spark was ignited. Ideas strike me at all hours of the day. My entire body exists with an inner euphoria. Little people request hugs. Questions that show engagement are more frequent. All of this out of the middle of nowhere.
The emptiness that I felt has gone the way of the world. There is a reason for me to wake before the sun. My phone rings in the evening. It keeps me happy and a part of the world. All of the bad feelings that pestered me during the first half of 2019 have simply ended. Happiness feels good.