Years ago, I walked into a restaurant to meet my boyfriend. He was a white Latin male that did not believe in God. The slow steady gaze of a young black man fell upon me as I navigated the maze of aisles. He was puffing heavily on a cigar. God only knows what was going through his mind. He did not speak or change his expression. I was in love with this rotund outcast of sorts. It was a love that turned my life upside down and tore at the very foundation of my family.
This scene is almost twenty years old. Life penetrated my interracial fantasy and love soon faded. There were too many forces pulling us apart. To this very day, I have loved others but I can not say for certain that I fell in love again. I do not even know if I want to feel that way for fear of losing all rational. It was the most trying time of my life.