When my gyn found the aliens that were occupying my uterus, she asked me if I wanted surgery. Unless it was required, I did not want it. After months of taking pain pills, it was time to consider something more direct to assist me. During the summer, a woman happened […]
My ovary hurts every month. It makes me consider a surgery that I do not really want. The time finally came for me to go further than rubbing oil on myself; it stops the pain. The yoni pearls were a bit premature considering I once lost a tampon. However, the […]
The cramps have begun. Between my oil and giant pills, the pain game is being played. I have been fighting with my damn uterus since the adolescent scandal of 13. In spite of the fact that I have a bikini wax scheduled for the morning, my menstrual cycle has decided […]
Trying to find the hospital in the city is like running through a maze in the dark. The directions were wrong. The traffic was moderate and there were lots of people that looked important running around in suits. When I finally arrived, valet parking was delayed so I hightailed it […]
When did we as women get together and decide that it was okay for blood to pour through our vaginas every month?
Dear Uterus, I think that it is time that you understand how I feel about you. I have tried to keep the peace by purchasing different types of products to accommodate your various moods. You care nothing about my precious underwear or my life. You bleed for unreasonable lengths of […]
The vagina is something that never ceases to amaze me. She has so much going on and yet is so very quiet. She is often the topic of various conversations due to her mere existence. Why, there are even poems about her. As I age, she unfolds yet another mystery […]
I wonder if anyone had it styled in the shape of a turkey or cornucopia to be festive?
I woke up one morning and there it was in a rocking chair. It was smoking a cigar. A glint of evil was in her eyes. The vagina told my startled person that she was suing me for neglect. Silence settled in. A puff of smoke arose.
Pluck. Shave. Design. Blood. Itchy. Wax. Tweeze. Every woman is familiar with these words in relation to her sacred yoni part. Each woman has a different approach to her secret place. Some have standing waxing appointments for the entire enchilada while others yet prefer the raging bush of the jungle. […]