The chasing & acquiring of a dick is a difficult business.  How does a single girl narrow down her choices to just the right pleasureable delight? Will it be just the right size, does it belong to another woman? Man?  Is it polyamorous, play for both teams or is it simply on the prowl for what I have to offer?  You have to know these things up front.

There are so many things to consider when on the hunt for…well, you know.  I remember not too long ago, a friend of mine had to drive to Orlando to get some…4hrs, traffic, really make a girl work so hard.

She couldn’t really explain to me what was going down or in for that matter…since she was surrounded by polite company.  That was the day that I created ODA.  You know, OFFICIAL DICK ALERT. Please man your text messages.

You never know when an ODA will strike. You could be decked out in your Africali best hanging out on Halloween when that roofer with the dreads calls inquiring about the uses of the sofa in your second room…what about the man in uniform..the one that you still dream of(because his dick would put a porn star to shame)…texts you to see if he can spend the night? ODA!  All texts and calls stop at once..which can come in handy in case you forget to turn off your cell….

A very girl girl..such as myself, needs time to devote to purfume, proper outfitting, heels, and….will I throw him to the ground as soon as he walks through the door or will I make him my ….. on the kitchen table(I chose to make him mine on the kitchen table).

Now, sometimes you don’t have an ODA…you have a PODA…POTENTIAL ODA.  The dick may be hovering.  A txt here, a call there.  Oh, I may have to work late.

Men…always making things so damn difficult.  Why can’t you just say yes, I know that you are hornier than me and I am coming to take care of the situation just give me a minute..Is it so wrong, to just want a piece of heaven on a stick? that wonderful, delicious, and always nutricious, the fabulous, the fuckable…THE FEELING OF A DICK.

***I would like to dedicate this to all of my single sisters out there who dream of their next time…..