A Regular Day

It was a regular morning in my life. My cell phone rang. It was my best friend at the time. She wanted me to contact Carlos about something when I interrupted her. I asked why she could not call him herself. She sounded as if she was going to drop the phone when she responded with, “I don’t have his number”. It is hard to believe that she spent thousands of dollars with this individual and did not have his phone number. Why didn’t she ask me for it? He would not mind if I gave it to her. The answer is very simple. It was easier to get me to do her bidding whenever she wanted. I responded with, “Hang up, I will text it to you.”. It was that morning that the nails in her coffin began. Slowly but surely, her bullshit was being thrown out with the trash.
Weight began dropping off me. It was a very difficult process but attention was being showered upon me like rain. I started dressing differently and wearing make up. There was an intention with my outfits: I feel good. Everyone took notice and shared their enthusiasm with the exception of one person. There was the off colored comment to my brother which visibly upset me to the point that I left her alone in the room.
We would hang out almost every night in a restaurant somewhere. We would eat expensive food and do so late at night. The summer brought about pilates in the morning and bellydancing at night. That interrupted our lifestyle. New people entered my entourage and they showed me new things that capture my interest. The invites to drum circles began to come in. Womens’ Festivals and henna were placed on my schedule. Water and healthy cooking became a part of my days. Someone took notice and held her jealousy like a backed up colon holds shit.
My days as a wallflower were over. I was no longer the friend that was preparing her for her dates or picking her up for yet another food run. Other people requested my presence for healthier forays and positive input. She would always talk about her lackluster life and how she wished she could change it. The power was hers all along but she simply wanted to stay put. Complacent. The problem was that I was no longer around to hear it and had flown away without her. Apparently, that was not a welcome change for my so called best friend of eight years.
Betrayal soon followed and I sent her packing. Her jealousy was evident to everyone except for me. This was ten years ago and I can still tell you the entire story word for word. Her negativity taught me a lot. It made me understand the nature of a broken woman. Control and victimization go hand in hand. You can’t be friends with someone that is not happy to see you happy. You can’t be friends with someone that screams in the middle of a parking lot, “I just want the old Crystal back…”.
This life was not meant for me to have a best friend. While it is a staple in most lives, it does not exist for me. I have a small circle of friends that rotate to keep me enthused. This is the way my life is on yet another regular day.

Feather: I Have a Cap

It was such a nice piece about a wonderful musician. He posted the link to his FB, and I enjoyed reading it. At the end of the article, readers were encouraged to suggest another creative for an interview. My mind fell on an artist that works with me. Her mural is currently uplifting the atmosphere of a school building and I told her that she needed press. BOOM. There was my force of nature Capricorn that is everywhere and does everything. My lovely yoga instructor is simply a refreshing individual and brings a lot of quiet power to the table. However, it was also possible to refer myself. The article said so. I thought but why would I do that, I would not be chosen. They already had harp a while ago. Then I thought…..why wouldn’t I be chosen? I am not the average bear and do not fit societal standards by many a measure. Four days later I was informed that I was selected.
I have the gift of looking at a woman and seeing a diamond in the rough in the event her shine is currently dimmed. Many times, I have the suggestions that can bring that potential to the surface and turn her into the prowling lioness that she truly is. If I can do that for others, why not pass some of that on to myself? Look at what happened. So at this point….I draw but one conclusion.
Have a dream that is bigger than yourself. It should be just out of your reach. Wild. Free from inhibition. Then slowly but surely work towards making it come true. The time shall pass regardless of if you sit at home watching Netflix, or blog away on a Sunday afternoon while cooking jerk chicken. Work towards that ridiculous thought in your mind that you do not think can actually happen.

Your Own Thing…..

You have to have your own bag of tricks from which you create your own thing. The world is filled with people that are content to sit on their asses and do absolutely nothing while others yet compete for the spot of best imitator in life.
With the uncertainty that life throws at you, being prepared with your own talents is important. Do not wait for people to notice you or provide you with open doors. In many instances, you will be the sole cheerleader for yourself; informing people about what you do, providing your own key.
Ask yourself, what do you have that you can use to meet that small niche that people need to have filled. How are you going to take a tried and true industry and revolutionize it with your own twist? What makes you different from every other brand under the sun doing the same thing? Well, for one there isn’t anyone else on the planet with your specific formula. God put you on this earth to do something. How are you going to shake the earth?
By the same token, you may have so many talents that it is hard to figure out which one you should be doing. What would you do for free? What makes you happy? What has captured your attention time and time again? You may need to offer blended services. Why? You can give people a more complete brand while fulfilling different aspects of yourself at the same time.
Be an open book. Embrace change and facilitate collaborations with others. Share your vision with willing ears and uplift each other. Why? At the end of the day, the hustle should not happen all of the time. You still need to have human connections away from social media and business meetings. When was the last time you had a meal that wasn’t attached to anything other than pure fun? Relax yourself. Often. Recharging is good for the soul and refreshes your work.


There it was. The one comment that made me take pause. Why on earth would someone tell me that paradise was lackluster? It was not until a dear friend pointed out the intent that I realized the gravity of the matter. I was hit on and did not even know it. It is my nature to encourage people and actively support them. When no one else believes in you, I am that cheerleader on the sidelines rooting for the upcoming victory. You do not have to be my friend or romantic interest; you could be a business. I believe in vision and support it with my heart as well as my dollar. Apparently, this was taken to heart and suddenly, my presence became important.
Why did this go over my head? Part of me has given up on love. There is no interest in pursuing anything in the one department that has failed me for the duration of my life. For whatever reason, Cupid has seen fit to simply overlook me. Life changes have enabled more pounds on my tall frame, and these days do not find me dressing in the manner that I would necessary like. Once again my hair is a mystery to me. From where did the sudden hit originate?
Men and women alike to have their dreams recognized and encouraged. They want someone to listen to the things that they want for themselves. It is not enough to be somewhat present for the struggle but also encourage the triumphs while mourning the failures. You have to be a part of it. A perfect example of this is how a child acts when you say something good about what they have done. More often than not, they look for excuses to interact with you because you make them feel good with praise and encouragement. Adults are the same.
You must be wondering what I shall do about the individual. Absolutely nothing. He is not my type. He needs to work out his issues with his paradise and find his Zen. I am over here working on me and mine.

Friday Reflection 4/11/19

Good morning ladies. Healing is a life long process. We are constantly being bombarded with things that aren’t good for us on every platform: physical, mental, spiritual, and environmental to name a few. We are asked to let go and release things for our own good as a way to continue on our journey. Is there a burden that you need to throw away? Find your light and pursue the very things that will help catapult you to your next destination. Some of you are beginning new jobs while others are looking to for a mere five minutes of reflection. You can do it. You can heal yourself. Be well on this the final day of a work week.