While driving home, the dullness of my daily routine began to set in once again. My life is rather boring. I wake up, go to work, follow the schedule, stay out of trouble, and return home. This happens five days a week every single week. There are many other interesting things that happen to me but lately, life has not offered much as far as action. The phone rang.
It was a friendly phone call from my favorite women’s shelter. About five years ago, I used to teach bellydance to the residents. It was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. It came time for me to move away from the world of bellydance and thus I passed on my volunteer responsibilities to another dancer. My presence remained with musical performances and donations, but the shimmy was gone. Well, the friendly phone call was inquiring if I would like to return to my former position. I felt like it was the opportunity of a lifetime.
A smile crossed my face. This would allow me to work with women on a regular basis. I will be able to show them how to be themselves and have fun at the same time. It is very exciting to return to this women centered holistic space. It is my intent to offer my current workshop and develop new ones to tailor the needs of these wonderful women. It took one phone call to erase the word boring from my vocabulary….
It was a Friday evening when I went into an art gallery to attend an event. There were live bodies of art sitting in front of their lives depicted in albums. A sheet of questions lay next to each one beckoning visitors to interact with them. There was an empty seat next to a table with questions. As my eyes surveyed the interrogation, one question took hold of my person. If you were to forget everything from the last decade of your life, what memory would you miss? One name presented itself as my mind was instantly transported back in time to the three days of Tantra that rocked this lifetime. The friendly face of the MC brought me back to my current reality. She asked if I would mind sharing this answer on stage in front of everyone. It was a mere second before she led me to that delicious space where magic happens: the spotlight.
Crystal Chanel, The Mistress of Ceremonies gave me quite an introduction. There in the middle of the gallery, my words expressed the earth shattering experience that gripped me to this very moment. There were not a lot of words, but there was an emphasis on feeling. It changed my life for the better. I knew that it was a one time occurrence that most people would never know but that I was now blessed to call my own. Crystal Chanel inquired if I was indeed the earth that was shattered because while I am melanin, my face had turned a lovely shade of pink. Oh how the banter of girl talk and its effect on a room. Everyone was suddenly sharing it what was a very private moment in my life. A moment that I was all too happy to share with a receptive crowd.
In retrospect, it is a wonder that I was selected for this particular honor. How did I stand out from everyone else? Was the memory felt from a far? As simple as you take it, there are many aspects of my life that I would miss immensely. However, the one that immediately surfaced was amorous. Perhaps such a connection with another human being is extremely profound in a day where a text is more acceptable than a phone call. Why even the notion that Crystal Channel would select me for such a creative spot speaks to the need for people to express their innermost thoughts. While they are secretive, are there not lessons and joys to be shared? I took a picture with her to remember the moment that I went from the shy introvert to the blushing tree with a flower garland on her head. It was comfortable and bold all at once. I await the moment that my spirit dares to return to that place once again. Maybe the Mistress of Ceremonies will introduce me…..
After reflecting upon my Friday evening, I realized something. Everything made sense to me. I suddenly understood how to mingle and meet people. Clubs, bars, large parties, are all environments that make me feel unsafe. There are too many people doing things that can cause serious problems. However, a place that honors my gender while celebrating art is where I feel safe. There isn’t any fear in walking up to someone and saying hello or I enjoyed what you did. It simply does not exist. The fear of judgement or isolation is gone. Such a place can be created by me or sought out by me. It is in this manner that I shall now proceed.
It was early Friday afternoon when I realized that there was an event that I should attend. It involved all of the things that I loved: women, art, poetry, and healing. My attire consisted of goddess material and out the door I went, daring to be social. Upon entry, it was not clear what was to be expected. People surrounded tables that had live painted bodies of art simply sitting and talking. Albums of the life of each piece of artwork lay in front of them on the table. My feet carried me to a table with questions. As I began to read it, one question leaped off the paper into me: If you were to forget the last ten years of your life, what memory would you miss and why? As my face turned to wondrous expression, the friendly MC caught me. She asked me if I would be willing to share my response to the question on stage. I smiled and responded yes.
The memory that I shared left me quite happy and flushed. Coincidentally, it did involve an artist and a lovely art gallery filled with his work. It is a memory that remains vivid to this day. It was quite exhilarating to share such a story with a gallery filled with complete strangers, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. The entertainment began soon after I took my seat.
The spoken word artists were quite familiar to me. The second one in particular, Nubian, struck a chord with me from many years ago. She made a statement on stage in the middle of her performance that completely boggled my mind. It stayed with me for all of these years. Naturally, when she passed by me after the show, I made it my business to stop her and tell her how beautiful she was. She was pleasantly surprised and engaged me in polite conversation. She managed to catch my attention as I was sitting on the floor speaking to one of the works of art.
She was painted as the Queen of Hearts. Her story of survival was harsh and passionate all at the same time. She had unimaginable experiences and eventually came to realize that her sexual orientation was not focused on men. The pictures in her album had carefully been selected to depict the healing journey that is her life. The opportunity to connect with her on such a level was uplifting for me. There is something about listening to another human being as they lay their soul bare before you. The question that I asked her was, if she had the chance to know me, would she hear me or feel me. She said that she would feel me because I would probably mention something that would resonate with her. It was a powerful connection of two people sharing with one another.
Once I found my way home, I removed the rose quartz necklace and settled into a chair. My womb was happy. My spirit soared. My heart felt light, and I knew…..that I had been captivated by the seduction of the evening. Everything in me knew what I wanted to do with my life.