Daddy’s Shadow

As you live your life in the aftermath of a parental transition, you experience a shadow that you can not visually see. You feel it every day. A wide range of emotions occur. You find yourself crying without explanation and extreme joy in random situations. Everyone has to face this experience. When I look at my mother now, my feelings are quite different. It is a blessing that I have her; however, the feeling of the ticking clock is not one that shakes off me easily.
This is my third encounter with death on a personal level. It has been different each time with each man. The murder of my boyfriend was unbearable and left me in a state of shock for approximately six months. It was not long ago that I lost a friend to yet another murder. The transition of my father is bittersweet. My understanding of what happens after the spirit leaves the body is more solid now than it was before. What I am experiencing now is the concept of never speaking to my father in his physical body again in my life. The truth of the matter is that I speak to him every day. When I wake up, I say good morning Daddy. We share a breakfast beverage before my schedule gets underway. We share conversations throughout the day and then a prayer before bed.
Music in all of its forms gets me through the day; Performing, listening, composing, and advising. The radio is on throughout the day. It is switched to my IPHONE at night for meditation music for sleeping purposes. Do I have bad moments? Of course. That is simply the nature of the beast. An amazing thing that has happened is that new people have befriended me during all of this. We chat and make plans for merriment and fun. My heart wants to be happy which is what I shall strive to be.
The physical separation is difficult. My mind eases knowing that one day, I shall be in my father’s arms again. We shall watch a movie and eat popcorn. I will perform songs from Phantom of the Opera. Why, we can even compare our bald heads…

UNEXPECTED EMOTION

There I was happy as could be because I had purchased two bottles of wine for the gathering. White for me and red for my sister. Upon entering the apartment, I poured her a glass. She politely refused it. I quickly grimaced and retreated to the kitchen. A whole bottle of red wine. Sigh. I poured myself a glass of white and joined the fun. Soon it was time for all of us to engage in girl talk. My sister went first.

She announced that there was a baby in her belly. The other women immediately began hugging her. My shock turned into tears on the spot. I hugged her last and exclaimed, “what a lucky baby”. I have never worried about this baby once because he is in the capable hands of a woman with a very strong spiritual presence with the heart of a true gypsy. She knows herself and marks her territory. Her creativity and international pursuits have all been poured into this one little life that will blossom and grow into someone extradinary.

The funny part is that she had to spend a day or two comforting me. She was the pregnant one. She was the one facing the major life change. It was during this time that I realized how close we really were and that maybe, this event hit a little too close to home. We went and prayed at the beach, danced in the moonlight, and rejoiced in the fact that she was now bringing forth life into the universe. This is yet another example of how the divine feminine returns and manifests itself.

CHANGE: AN OVERWHELMING MOMENT

Change is always to be expected. This is the natural flow of life. Sometimes, change can be a wonderful transition that goes well. At other times, change may bring about quick things that upset a flow before one has a minute to prepare. I found myself in the latter situation just yesterday. It caused such an uproar that I fled the scene before I said something that I would later regret.

I found myself seeking the sanctuary of a quiet spot in nature away from the scene of terror. It was there that I sat for a long period without any regard for the clock. Sometimes, a Lady needs a minute. Well, this was a long minute. Various thoughts ran through my head as it continued to dawn on me that my reality was changing and indeed I was being pushed towards something that was more suitable for the woman that I now recognize myself to be. Tears of frustration and anger flew from my eyes as I wrapped my mind around the realization that this was not going to be an easy transition. However, if it is going to truly mean anything to me, why would it be easy?

My internal voice called to the angels to help me. It was not my intent to consume something unhealthy for my body as I had been cooking healthy meals all week. Shopping for fun was also not a good idea. In the process of desiring a more positive outlook in the middle of a storm, I found myself wanting to spend time with a certain ray of sunshine that hadn’t glowed around me for a little while. Alas, my tears dried, and my prayers brought me some relief. It was later that day that I received a phone call from that ray of sunshine requesting my presence. I voiced what I needed, and it was given to me. Fortune is truly mine. This is how I combat thoughts that do not serve me. I ask for help to have them taken from me.

Aside from that day, my time has been spent working on what I want to do regarding my womens’ mission. A lot of progress has been made in that a mission statement was clarified to the point that I was able to post it for public viewing. As I finalize workshops for the remainder of the year, I have already begun to speculate about the goals for next year, and how I plan to grow with my work. My team now includes a vegan pagan that provides us with tips on healthy eating as she eats based on her intuition and the needs of her body; this concept is important to me and should be shared. All of these happenigns have been combined with Fall crafts and readings so that I can continue to be artistic while providing people with that extra insight and support that the angels give to everyone. I have begun working with another archangel which has clarified my purpose and fueled my enthusiasm.

As I survey my weekend, I look forward to the workshops that will be happening: Business Reflections by Lacey Hudson and Raks Chakra(Simbiya) with the Lady of Harp. Why, I was even asked to do a mini-circle at the end of the business workshop; this brings me great joy as I shall present a meditation that I developed for the heart. Work that is done for the benefit of others is quite rewarding as the investment is worth more than green paper. Both women are masters within their fields and bring a wealth of knowledge to all that welcome it. The learning process is always in motion and can truly help a woman in creating new realities for herself. The hour is late. I wish to paint my toenails, stretech, and commune with the angels before a proper slumber.

(P.S. For more information on the current workshops or celestial readings, please email me: yemaya@att.net)