Celebrity Reflection: MY FINAL CRUISE PERFORMANCE

water

tips When I started performing professionally, the cruise ships came calling. I did several wedding ceremonies on Carnival Cruises before realizing that it was not worth my time and effort to haul my monstrous instrument over bulk heads. It quickly lost its appeal, and land kept me quite grounded. When a company asked me to do a wedding a cruise ship, I thought that it would be nice to visit my old stomping grounds. Imagine the pictures against the ocean. This positive outlook quickly faded as the chaos unfolded. I have decided to present this in a loose list form as it was the same one that I texted to almost everyone that I know….

NIGHTMARE ON THE OEAN
1.) no signs for the proper terminal
2.) went to wrong garage
3.) groom didn’t know what terminal it was. He told me to “Follow the signs…”.
4.) get to elevator. No license. Had to go back to the 4th floor.
5.) get to security. Can’t board for two hours because of coast guard.
6.) boarded before the two hours but wasn’t allowed to leave security (second clearance) because of the K-9 unit. They had to smell my harp for drugs.
7.) the first dog came twice. Was not acceptable for some strange reason.
8.) I was there so long that I decided to play for tips. One of my songs was the Titanic…
9.) when the K-9 unit arrived, he didn’t even tell me it was okay to go. Security had to chase him and told me that he was a lazy ass.
10.) got on the ship. Coordinator assistant meets me. Two men have to carry my harp to the location because an elevator doesn’t go to the top deck.
11.) ceremony was on a top deck in the hot sun. I had to hide next to the officiant.
12.) keep in mind that the client wanted me to play over recorded music and during the speaking. I may have actually played for ten minutes.
12,) everyone leaves. There is no help to get me off the ship. I descended the same flight of stairs without any help. I get to the gang plank when officials stop me with an interrogation:

1.) are you crew? No.
2.) is this the ships property? All $32,000.00 of this instrument belong to me.
3.) you won’t fit in the elevators: I came in through those elevators.
They had to shut down the entire gangplank to escort me off the ship. One of the officials informed me that all of my problems were rooted in the fact that weddings were not allowed on the first turn back from Europe. However, this man was allowed because he was someone important.

13.) Returned to the place where I spent hours waiting for a damn dog. Security apologized to me again. Someone gave me a bottle of water. It was the first that I had all day.

14.) I finally returned to the first level of security. The ladies asked me how the wedding went because they watched my experiences on the camera and were horrified. We exchanged tales of woe as I made my departure back to the fourth floor garage across the street. Once everything was loaded, I heard my name. One of the security guards had chased me all the way to the fourth floor to give me my license. It had fallen from me without my knowledge and she figured that she could catch me because it would take me time to load. I could have given her my first born child as this was only the second time in the same day that my license tried to escape me. **For those of you that remember, I had to renew it last year prior to it being stolen. At this point, maybe I just don’t need one…..moving on.

I told the company that I was representing that the overtime fee needed to be raised due to the trauma that I had to endure and she agreed. I now have to pay for therapy, massages, and alcohol; not necessarily in that order. Chances are very high that I will not step foot on a ship to perform again. If I do, it will be because they have agreed to cover my mortgage….the remaining balance.

Piscean Power

My life has suddenly changed its pace. My phone has been ringing off the hook with email notifications fighting for attention. Appointments are appearing faster than what I am aware of and yet the sun is still shining. It is due to the impending doom of work which greets me next week. However, I have learned that I am a person that likes a nice slow easy pace. Entire days that are dedicated to absolutely nothing suit my just fine. My schedule was so overwhelming this last Spring that I escaped on vacation with a friend. She told me that she was leaving town on official business, and I told her that she had company. Am I complaining? No. This is simply a voice of concern for my future sanity.
I have a fondness for telling my sisters that they should consider themselves prior to anyone else. Put yourself in a seat of honor so that you can continue to serve the ones that you love. Here is yet another situation on my hands where I need to consider myself prior to the insane madness that my life is going to throw at me. Gone are the days of awaking around 11 and moving after noon. No more midday chats with my beloved sister as we sing of the days of glory. How shall I cope? I need a game plan.
Silence. I am a reclusive Piscean that likes silence. I do not fancy a lot of noise around me because it is irritating. More often than not the lights must be off if I want to concentrate. Soft beautiful music lulls me to sleep. Pedicures make me feet feel amazing and there is a new group of women that will be gathering in the name of one of my favorite goddesses. Maybe, I shall join them for the fun. Part of how I plan to conquer this predicament is being prepared for it. Since I know that the transition back to work will be the opening of flood gates, no matter how I try to put it in a more pleasing light, its rough on me. It is up to me to draw upon the available resources to keep myself in tact. That and I already have a retreat planned for September.

What is Left

Sometimes, the process of going through the motions when you have no other choice, can leave you feeling numb. The ho hum drum of daily life can be wrought with being rushed and overwhelmed with too many demands from sources that are not on the top of your list. Isolation and desparation may also rear their ugly heads. How does one add a subtraction sign to this equation?

It is important to focus on what is important. As long as I am working towards an ultimate goal that has meaning to me, it puts the entire picture into perspective. I am not looking to win a battle because the war is the end result; there is where the victory is of the utmost importance.
My goal is to transition into a career that is rewarding to me on all levels.

Before this day, I do not think that I realized how much this change would consume my entire life. Sacrifices on all levels have to be made. The change alone is a full time position in itself. Tweaking resumes and networking are constant efforts especially while trying to maintain regular responsibilities at work and home.

I have also learned the hard way that there are many people that do not agree and oppose the mere thought of leaving a career behind or retalliate to venting of the situation. Some people have truly hurt my feelings with some of the most horrible comments. However, how could they truly know what I am experiencing without being in my shoes? It doesn’t help when those closest to me state that I should be thankful to be employed and to remember how hard it is to get a job elsewhere…what would I do? (Lesson learned: understand that you can not vent at large…..)

It is true. I should be thankful that I have a job, and it did take me a long time to figure out what to do. The fact of the matter is that the lessons learned from my job will help propel me into the next chapter of this story, and I am thankful for maintaining what will be my background one day. Since finally coming to a conclusion as to what I should do with myself, I have chosen to not broadcast it to the world lest discouraging words are thrown at me like daggers. Positive company is needed at this time as this is not an easy road to tread.

Fortunately for me, the universe has been watching. Information and people have suddenly appeared to help me along the way. The Career Transition card from my oracle deck appeared this morning much to my delight, and I posted it in the LadySpeaks fb group. The Business Reflections Workshop covered how one can begin to plan an exit strategy. My pen was quick to copy all of this information because one thing is evident. Either I do something drastic or I will continue to be here looking for ways to deal with a situation that grows worse by the seconds. Some days are better than others with today being in the others category.

In the meantime, I have found myself wanting to stretch more while wearing my black and white leg warmers because they are funny looking. Just when I think that I want some company, a friend calls for tea. This week was suppossed to be quite busy with an event happening every night clear into next week. That has also changed, and I now forsee myself working diligently on my homelearning assignment from the workshop. My mind must stay calm if I am going to be able to focus on keeping myself in one piece while dealing with everything at once. Candles help and so will dancing. I have taken to cooking interesting meals with green veggies and have enjoyed a long period of silence this evening. Tomorrow is another day, and my bed chambers are calling me.

Remember your Resources

Frantic. Aggravated. Amazed. Traffic. Combat. Wine. Dark bitter chocolate. Coffee. Sleep.
These are the words that come to mind when I think about this day that I have had. I normally do not say much to the powers that be about the aggravations that I must endure under their leadership. However, it gets to a point where a Lady can only take so much before she has to put down her heel. The day has been filled with emails of misguided situations and poor judgement calls which have now landed in my lap without any resoruces or preparation. I am not blocking my throat chakra over this as I just recently got over almost being sick. It isn’t even October yet.

My coffee intake has resurfaced, and it tastes wonderful. I do not plan to stay in this caffeine phase for long, but while I am here, I shall enjoy it. It gives me the sustaining feeling of heat that I want. It is stronger than the tea, and the taste of the French Vanilla Cream is outstanding. Then the chocolate chip cookies manifested from thin air. Who knew.

I was able to make it to my workout which had its own side issues and balls being thrown. However, in spite of the pain in my neck and the fact that the traffic was awful, I had so much fun and felt my worries fade away if only for an hour. Now that I am back on the home front, the sink has been cleared and a short meditation has eased some of the clutter in my mind. It dawned on me that perhaps I had forgotten my resources as the day slowly built its chaos on me. It was when a wise woman reminded me that the beach exists for a reason. You would think that I would remember as I was just there on Sunday. Here it is…..

1.) I asked Archangel Raphael to ease the pain at the base of my neck. I am seeing the chiropractor three times this week, and it is still out of whack. The green light did engulf me, and tension was lessened.

2.) I once went on a text strike. It amazed people everywhere. I am addicted to my IPHONE in an unrelenting way. Its time to strike again if only for a day from all social networking.

3.) It seems as if everyone around me is traveling for pleasure. While I haven’t considered this as something to do this year, perhaps I need to change my mind.

4.) A musician friend alerted me to his performance on Saturday night. This would be the perfect opportunity for me to relax and engage myself on a creative level without being the source of it. It is important to be on both sides of the process…..and enjoy a nice glass of wine.

5.) When was the last time I simply soaked in a tub with bubbles and candle light? This is one of my favorite things to do and it has escaped me. Well, it is returning shortly.

6.) Holding a teddy bear can imitate pet therapy: it likes to be cuddled:)

7.) Workout and get that energy level to the proper place while easily letting go of the stress that is destroying the happy feelings that you naturally have.

I have also begun to go to bed thirty minutes earlier and have increased my water intake. I do plan to return to the beach shortly and next week Monday is completely blank as far as my schedule. Instead of filling it with things that must be done, I shall leave it blank and allow the universe to decide for me. After all, I treasure structure so that I can change it to my liking. Oh how the summer time schedule is missed. There was time, relaxation, and clarity of thought. Now, I have to fight for what is rightfully mine: sanity. Fret not. This is a challenge that I will win.