Presence & Prayer

It was an interesting Friday evening. My bed held me captive. Dinner was in the fridge, and night fall could not descend upon me fast enough. The patio cleaning was canceled so that I could attend a party. I did not plan to stay because tired was a beginning adjective for me. The shower greeted me with hot water sent by God, and a stylish outfit soon followed. It was a no make up no fuss night, but I still looked presentable.
The music was loud. The lights were in different colors. The dancing was outlandish, and the wine was dwindling. People were letting their hair down and getting into the groove. My eyes blinked as my hands rummaged through what was left of the olive platter. A bottle of cold water quenched my thirst. Once my uterus began to have a silent conversation with me, it was time for me to go. After bidding my farewells, I was a flash through the front door. Unbeknown to me, a real live shadow was behind me.
She seemed very desperate. She was wondering if she could get a ride to a gas station approximately ten minutes away. As my hands searched for my keys, I heard my voice say let’s walk to my car and talk. As her story unfolded, it was apparent that life was not at its peak for her. Why this very evening was an extreme low, and the party was simply a moment or two for her to get away. The ride was her journey back to her gruesome reality. She professed her need for God. I looked at her and said continue to pray. God will listen. Just keep praying. She thanked me profusely, and my car took me home.
As I sat in my kitchen looking at my pink candy apple, many things went through my mind. She came after me for a particular reason. My presence just played a part in something that was unknown to me. It was timely, and subtle. You never know why you are in a certain place at a certain time. You are just there.

The Prayer

A prayer does not always have to be formal or from a publication. Singing, chanting, dance, art, and drumming are also forms of prayer. Sometimes, I do not use words. I simply sit down in a sacred space and play my harp. The spiritual realm appreciates warm expressions directly from your heart. This is the foundation for your continued connection.

The Railroad Tracks

There is a railroad track next to my friend’s home that has always drawn my attention. As I awaited her arrival, I decided to walk there to pray. My hands searched for three pennies as an offering and as they found themselves into my palm, I looked down and saw three more pennies on the ground. My body stopped moving as my gaze focused on the copper just sitting there looking at me. A smile came across my face as spirit made its presence known. The brand new scarf found itself on my head as I approached the railroad track.
Prayer is a powerful thing. It is real. It can move mountains. Time spent on bended knee is important. What did I pray about? I asked for encouragement as I embarked on new journeys of developing workshops. Such endeavors include guiding people along the way while continuing to develop myself. It is an exciting and busy time. I took three rocks from the railroad as the pennies were thrown and ventured over to the little park to sit; it was time to have a conversation with my father. An odd thing happened as we chatted. A train rolled by on the same tracks where I had just prayed. This struck me as odd because that has never happened before in spite of the many times that I have been in the area. Yes, spirit heard me.

My Purring Present

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After leaving the gyn, I went straight home. A candle was lit and my hands started writing about my feeligns. The news was not bad; however, it tugged on a few strings for me. Surgery was offered as an option. My immediate response was that unless it is required, I do not want it. A course of action was determined in order for me to remain under observation. When I wrote that I felt all alone, Niagara Falls suddenly filled the living room. Afterwards, a massage was scheduled and my evening unfolded.
It was close to midnight when it scurried across my path. While looking for my phone charger, a kitten appeared out of thin air. It was soon sitting in my lap purring away. We spent what felt like an hour together. My eyes focused on the beautiful full moon as a smile crossed my face. I asked the kitten who sent you to me? Because I knew that it was a gift from God to ease my sorrows. We played together and rolled around my porch. It even followed me to my door and would be inside now had I not explained that a pet is not on my agenda. Granted, if it is still there in the morning…..

Coping

1.) Blogging: Writing about my experiences really helps me get to the bottom of my feelings while allowing my friends a chance to connect with me. It avoids alienation and enhances the human experience. While I have been around a lot of people for longer periods of time, I am still introverted and need a minute. As an empathic medium, I often have problems taking on the emotions of others during such times. If I talk about what is happening to me, everyone can see that I am ok and the uncomfortable mystery is no more.

2.) Prayer: This has been a huge part of every day. I pray everywhere. I have been to chapels and churches. If my mind is unable to formulate anything, then I simply present myself. I have requested that everyone pray for me and my family. My father’s name has been added to prayers in various languages, and friends in other countries have also reached out to me. Having a blanket of 24hr prayer surrounding me makes me feel extremely supported.

My guardian angel & spirit guides have been as close as they can possibly be during this time. My spiritual encounters are very strong these days as my father has already let me know that he is still with me. I also seek the comfort of the archangel of grief, Azrael; however, I can say that I am not sad. Often times, there is a smile on my face.

3.) Flowers: My home has been filled with beautiful flowers and fragrant candles. In nine days, I shall create a special place of honor for my father so that I can pay homage to him daily as I pray. This date has already been marked in my calendar, and I am looking forward to it.

4.) Sisterhood: Friends have reached out to schedule lunch dates or anything just to keep me active. People came over to offer their condolences and to help me celebrate the transition of my dad. This was important because while the sisterhood was taking place for my mother, it wasn’t happening for me as long as I was at her home(distance). It was nice to have it for myself in my own sanctuary. As the solstice approaches, I hope to be able to run free on the beach with flowers on my person.

5.) Music: I planned every detail of the music for the viewing, funeral, burial, and repast. It brought me a great deal of joy to do so. The execution of it all was rather moving for us the performers as well as for the people that attended.
Viewing: solo harp
Final Viewing: solo harp
service: flute/viola/cello/harp two vocalists pianist/organist
Burial: Violin/Cello
Repast: Guitar

Cds have been made for me as well as certain songs that I listen to a lot. It really makes me feel so very nice. I am happy to have music at my side.

6.) Sensual: I enjoy sensual things. The sun was out today. It shone rather brightly on the earth. I found myself wanting to wander around so that its warmth could grace my skin. Birds often chirp a beautiful song which reaches my ears. While I took a hot shower, I realized that I enjoyed it so much that I decided to turn it into a hot bath with bubbles. Instead of my normal 1hr massage, I had one for 1.2hrs and it was a requirement. Reiki will be added to the mix on a more frequent basis so that my energies remain leveled.

7.) Awareness: Since I have dealt with grief before, I knew what to expect as far as my own behavior possibly changing. I knew that I would be afraid of the dark. It did not last as long this time as I can already sleep without lamps. Peace and quiet are not always welcomed right now. My appetite has improved a great deal since my father left the nursing home. Supplements and the drinking of water are also rebalancing.

Abundance: The Funny Thing

It had been a long marathon performance week. Harp season had officially arrived and I was in full swing. Long evenings turned into long nights filled with music and confirmation emails. Sleep, eat, and harp; the only things on my agenda. New connections gave hope to more work in the new year. In the middle of it all, a person crossed my mind.

Years ago, I used to visit a missionary on the north side of Miami. She was a much older woman with years of prayer under her belt. She worked Psalms and conducted brief church services for those that sought her assistance. Her old home stood with a poor roof; nothing that could not be fixed with the proper roofing company. I had not seen her since 2008. I decided that I would take my friend to see her so that we could share in the joy of God.

I prayed for guidance to the home as I did not know if I would remember how to find it. Once in front it, the garden was quite recognizable and the roof was still in great need of repair. Unfortunately, the gate was locked; this was new. It had never been locked before. There weren’t any neighbors that I could ask about the situation. Suddenly, the front door opened and out walked the kind missionary. We called to her and she ventured out to greet us. She told me how much I had crossed her mind the other day; no doubt the same day that she had crossed mind. She had to close her church due to the city declaring her home unstable. Nonetheless, she gave all of her glory to Jesus and offered us Psalms for us to reflect upon throughout the week. We told her that we would check on her in the new year and made a contribution towards the maintenance of her missionary endeavors.

This morning, I awoke in tears. I asked God to please show mercy upon this woman, his very dedicated servant. She worked upon his behalf. I wondered how so much abundance had been given to me and yet this woman could not gather the resources to take care of her home. I never wanted to ask about her family or insurance; however, it was obvious that neither were progressing for her if either existed. It did not seem fair to live in a world where no bank could help her. My fingers found an email address to connect me with possible organizations that could possibly help her. Tom Joyner may even hear from me. They say it takes one person to make a difference. This may be my opportunity.

Protection Thought

You are in tune with the spiritual realm. Meditation and prayer are your tools of communication. Do not hold on to the negative comments about your extreme sensitivity. It is a gift to understand the universe for what it is. This feeling should be mainstream and not pushed to the corner. Embrace your understanding.

Hermita de Caridad: PRAYER MOMENT

There was some time for me to kill in between outing yesterday. The famous church was right there. I figured it would be nice if I could have a moment in prayer in such a beautiful environment. The sanctuary soon found me sitting in a pew staring at Caridad del Cobre, Our Lady of Charity. There were only two words that stood out in my mind for myself: love & compassion. Mother figures are able to offer such feelings to us so very well and I thought that this saint would be perfect to petition for such things. However, while my prayers rambled around my mind, there were fabulous things afoot around me.
A man came from the back meditation room, I beleive the sacraments are kept there, and kneeled in front of the altar. He remained on the floor for what seemed to be an eternity. He was in casual attire as was everyone else. The reverence, the faith, the moment…once he arose he saluted the cross and left. He beckoned to his friend in the meditation room. He promptly came out, deposited some cash into a box and left. Families continued to stream into the sanctuary. Mothers made the sign of the cross and directed the childrens’ attention to the saint. They sat in complete silence. Suddenly, a priest appeared in front of the altar and began speaking in Spanish. The people stood and began chanting which I took as my cue to quickly vacate the premesis.
I wandered outside to the ocean and sat for some time simply enjoying the sight of the water. Key Biscayne was off in the distance and my previous performances there crossed my mind. A nun was off to the right talking to a young girl. She reminded me of the nun that my father often talked about. He remembers looking up at his father’s funeral and saw the nun that offered him comfort in grad school. I think that she was dressed in blue. He will never forget her kindness. It is the same way that I will never forget observing how that man in the sanctuary shared his heart with the Lady of Charity.

BUSY BUSY BUSY: THE INSANE MADNESS

Busy is an understatement for what I have been through since March. Retrogrades have not been this harsh. Everything and everyone has deadlines and needs that have to be met yesterday. Scheduling and proper balancing have been an extreme challenge. I have escaped town and visited a spa in addition to frequent acupuncture treatments just to combat everything. The upside is that things are working in my favor. The downside is that catching my breath hasn’t been possible.

Today has been the first day that I have been able to breathe in and out without worrying about anything. I did absolutely nothing and it felt wonderful.
As I work on organizing the Circle of Sisterhood into a non profit organization that serves women, my harping has increased along with my need for sleep. My only complaint is that I am unable to clone myself.

As I lay in my bed late last night, my exhaustion led me to prayer babble. There I was asking for the strength to continue to just make it thorugh these last few months of work so that I could concentrate on what was the most important to me. It has been oh so wo so very difficult. How can I possible go on in this fashion. My right foot was hanging off the bed and it was pushed. I was alone…..well, not exactly.

As I rose from my bed, I went to the bathroom only to discover that I was falling asleep completey dressed in my performance attire. I dressed properly for bed and shut down the house. As I fell asleep, there wasn’t any rapid thinkig to keep me awake which has become a normal issue for me now. When I awoke, I felt refreshed and content. My plea for help was answered in a manner that I never would have anticipated.

The more you are able to ask for help and then rely on your ability to receive what is already yours, the more you will be able to understand how much support you really have and how far you can truly go.

A Quiet Moment

It was not anything major in my book. The hype surrounding the 12.12.12 day did not include me or my attention. However, I did want to take a minute to pray at that exact moment. What I was able to accomplish was so much more.

I ended up at a beautiful church somewhere in town. The sanctuary was closed, but there was a lovely courtyard where I was able to sit and admire the surrounding nature. It was peaceful. It was quiet. There was no reason to leave in a hurry or even give my thougths to anything but the present moment. All obstacles simply retreated in the quiet solace of the afternoon. My eyes wandered to a large conglomeration of flowers where I soon walked. When I looked up, there she was with her arms outstretched ready to greet me. There was a statue of the Virgin Mary cloaked with a rosary. It was the perfect opportunity for me to pray for the upliftment of myself and others so that we could realize the potential of the new portal that has just opened. The beginning of this new cycle is our awakening to so much more. We have only to tune into it and accept its lessons as we progress further than ever before. As I left the Queen of Angels, I felt lucky to have had such a peaceful experience on this special day.