The women entered my home one by one. It was the beginning of my new life cycle, and a celebration was in order. Food, wine, friends, and poetry. An artistic good time is always right up my alley. As everyone got settled, we dined on exquisite salad and drank fine wine. Wonderful conversations erupted. The topic ranged from marriage to the relevance of Empire. It was a beautiful night. In walked the Aries and the true fun began.
Conversations went late into the night complete with smiles and laughter. Everyone was given a tour of my new master bathroom which I still do not believe is mine. Beautiful presents were given to me. Most of all the joy of the evening was the time spent with the women that live my life with me. Each one is special and adds an element to my ability to live a life instead of a simple existence. As the night turned into morning, a smile crossed my face and the memories settled into dreams.
While en route to my rescheduled spa appointment, I received some information that shocked me into a new realization. There was someone within my midst that would have to be removed. I wasted no time in doing so. The spa was lovely: massage and nails. It had been so long. Before anything else transpired in my life, it dawned on me that there was entirely too much craziness for a simple two week span and that another explanation had to be obvious. A quick calendar check revealed to me that indeed, I was living in the shadow of the infamous Mercury in Retrograde. My head hung in disbelief. The retrogrades were never written into my new calendar; how could I do this to myself.
After conversing with a trusted friend, she made plans for us to attend a comedic movie that night. The laughter and popcorn were exactly what I needed. As Saturday morning found me cuddled with my pillow, my desire for adult activities came to light. While I was calmer about the situation, it was apparent to me that a party was in order. An invite later that night did the trick. Great care was taken in planning an outfit and doing my make up. As my feet crossed the celebration threshold, my introversion was pushed to the side as an effort was made to be social. Hookah and glasses of wine soon followed. My time in this atmosphere was greatly appreciated and very necessary.
The weekend trip was postponed due to the crazy aftermath of my mom being in the hospital. The alternative was a great culmination of fun. Monday began with client errands and the arrival of my laptop bag. Meals have been cooked today instead of purchased. A light cleansing even took place. Such things have been delayed due to the new bathroom. There is finally less dust and more order in my humble sanctuary. Life has improved as the slow cycle creeps closer to us all.
As Fall rolled around, I knew that this time of introspection could possibly be chaotic for my newly widowed mother. It would be the first birthday without her husband. The thought of her having a nervous breakdown while I was at work was more than I could take. What could I do to avoid such a fate? Simple. I planned a surprise party.
Once this idea popped in my head, I contacted one her main associates. She was thinking the same thing and jumped at the chance to be a part of the inside scoop. The amount of text messages that this woman received from me probably caused her to upgrade her cell phone plan. The Surprise Pajama Potluck was well under way with a guest list of 26 women. Cake, furniture, and entertainment were coordinated in between performances and readings. Instead of running to Publix for the common dessert standby, I decided to upgrade to a Cake Couture Specialist. After sending two sketches of what I thought would be a jaw dropper dessert, she created the most beautiful cake that I could imagine. Candles were designed and four shopping trips followed just to make certain that the gift bags were on point: fine chocolate, Sandalwood sachets, and the candles all made their way into the Fall themed gift bags. Tables and chairs were collected from various sources including a party center. Games were gathered as well as balloons, confetti, and orange cutlery.
In the middle of the day of madness, it occurred to me that nothing was going to occur on the actual date of my mother’s birthday. Would there be a feeling of a daily routine? I made my way to a local florist to order flowers for October 22nd. As my mother reveled in her party, she would have a visible reminder of all of the merriment that was made…..and there was merriment running amuck. As the ladies began to arrive at 7pm, my mother was enjoying a pedicure with the decoy. I sent word to her that neighbors wanted to use her yard for a party. When she returned to her own house, she still had no idea that it was filled with friends anxiously awaiting her pleasant shock. The joyous expression on my mother’s face at the sight of everyone gathered in her honor was more than a million dollars. She was caught by pleasant surprise.
The women prayed, danced, ate, sang, and played an intense game of bingo. Testimonials were given and presents were shared. The cake was cut and consumed. The guests left filled with happy memories while others yet stayed behind and created an after party. My mother reported to me that people did not leave until 2am. Well, it was a pajama party after all. One guest was even in town without her knowledge and surprised all of us late in the night with her colorful presence.
Here it is two days after the party, and I have done absolutely nothing besides get a massage and write thank you cards. A cleaning lady is coming to my home tomorrow to take care of its needs while I attend to the matters of the week. One of those matters include the planning of the next party. Now that my mother knows all of our tricks, I have to take it to the next level without alerting her suspicion.
At one point during the evening, I heard a male voice. It was very strange because my brother had informed me that he wasn’t attending the party. I even opened the door to see the face of the voice and no one was there. My ear soon rang which indicated a spiritual presence. I am certain that my father wanted me to know that he was pleased with what I had accomplished on behalf of his wife. I realize that it is my responsibility to do all that I can to make sure that she smiles as she adjusts to him being in the land of the ancestors. Happy Birthday Mommy. Many, Many happy returns.
As you live your life in the aftermath of a parental transition, you experience a shadow that you can not visually see. You feel it every day. A wide range of emotions occur. You find yourself crying without explanation and extreme joy in random situations. Everyone has to face this experience. When I look at my mother now, my feelings are quite different. It is a blessing that I have her; however, the feeling of the ticking clock is not one that shakes off me easily.
This is my third encounter with death on a personal level. It has been different each time with each man. The murder of my boyfriend was unbearable and left me in a state of shock for approximately six months. It was not long ago that I lost a friend to yet another murder. The transition of my father is bittersweet. My understanding of what happens after the spirit leaves the body is more solid now than it was before. What I am experiencing now is the concept of never speaking to my father in his physical body again in my life. The truth of the matter is that I speak to him every day. When I wake up, I say good morning Daddy. We share a breakfast beverage before my schedule gets underway. We share conversations throughout the day and then a prayer before bed.
Music in all of its forms gets me through the day; Performing, listening, composing, and advising. The radio is on throughout the day. It is switched to my IPHONE at night for meditation music for sleeping purposes. Do I have bad moments? Of course. That is simply the nature of the beast. An amazing thing that has happened is that new people have befriended me during all of this. We chat and make plans for merriment and fun. My heart wants to be happy which is what I shall strive to be.
The physical separation is difficult. My mind eases knowing that one day, I shall be in my father’s arms again. We shall watch a movie and eat popcorn. I will perform songs from Phantom of the Opera. Why, we can even compare our bald heads…
As my search for a comfortable physical fitness regime continued, it occurred to me that a dear friend was a tennis professional. It made sense for me to ask her for a lesson even it I only played one time. As a child, I spent a few summers playing tennis and even won a tournament. The tennis trophy is still on display in my home.
While another friend picked up the pole that was no longer in use, I shared my plans to have a tennis lesson. Her visible excitement burst into a self invite to tag along. She brought her significant other along as well which made for a wonderful morning.
We ran up and down the court. Pink and yellow balls were employed as well as colorful racquets. There were warm up exercises and tennis stance reviews. As the noon sun shone brightly in the sky, we played doubles matches. Good and bad shots were made on all sides. The best part was that all of us were smiling. We felt as if this was something that we wanted to share on a regular basis. We sweated and felt good about it. Our picture was taken at our request so that the happy time could be remembered by all.
I may have found a new hobby that also makes me social at the same time. No one knows for certain. All I do know is that there was something special about my time on the court today that made me feel good.
The origins of our friendship involve flowers. She made me feel so special with her caring customer service. I gave her flowers for Secretary’s Day, and she did not even work for me. I would imagine it was a shock to receive them from a client that did not even belong to her; however, the truth of the matter was that she had become a reference point of warmth for me. We probably became friends that day. I knew that she was a very special individual but wasn’t sure what made her this way. It wasn’t long before the reasons became crystal clear.
On one random weekday in the Summer of 2012, we were having a conversation. We were still quite new to each other but the comfort level felt as if it lingered from a previous lifetime. I was explaining my desire to have an event for women to come and enjoy sisterhood. A slow steady gaze of interest fell over me. My new friend expressed an interest in attending. It was not long before she did appear at a now memorable circle. It was a night filled with admiration and knowledge. It was the night that her short stature dwarfed everyone in the room.
It was the Fall season. My assistant was working hard on the setup while I greeted women. The waitresses were very kind and attentive to our needs. Approximately ten women attended with my original sister calling to check in on us. Once the lively discussion began after dinner, the conversation took an unexpected turn. The frustation of one woman with her lack of business progress struck a chord with my new friend. She was soon standing in front of everyone as the tallest woman in the room. Everyone sat in awe as she effortlessly shared her knowledge. No one wanted to move in spite of the fact that the hour was growing quite late. No one looked at a cell phone or a watch for fear that the feeling would go away. One would think that it was a rehearsed scene from a movie when in fact it was simply a testimony from a very astute individual. All of us would still be sitting there at IHOP if she did not happen to check her watch to see that it was 1:00am.
The circle did not close that night. We sped home to dive into bed and pray that sandman had not forsaken us. Before my head hit the pillow, my captivating friend received a phone call from me. My words made it very clear that she was being hired as a workshop presenter, and that she had to give me a date when this would be possible. She happily accepted and executed two rather informative presentations on behalf of the Circle of Sisterhood. I have taken formal business classes with experts that have spent many years before standing in front of a group of people with advice. This individual knows as much as they do if not more and she isn’t in her thirties yet.
It is unclear to me if I will ever be able to truly express my admiration for this talented lady. There is no one else like her on earth because the human race would not be able to handle it. While I have told her, perhaps the written word will do a better job of putting my thoughts about her existence into a better perspective. The way she looks at life, the way she analyzes things, and the conclusions that she reaches are far removed from anything that is considered the status quo or common. Why, she even has different looks! She has not yet reached her peak in life. I am fond of referring to her as the talented, the captivating one because she needs to get used to receiving awards.
This elevated person defies limitations and does not accept failure because it simply is not on the list. She is an unforgettable character that keeps me on that lively thrill. She has the vision to look at an individual and see all of the possibilities instead of the downward spirals. Anytime spent with her is a drop of water into the bucket of fun. When she has something to say to you, it is said without hesitation good or bad; this is a speaker of truth. She will no doubt read this and call me while misty as she is a fan of my blog. When she does, a big smile shall cross my face because maybe then I will have expressed my genuine happiness for our friendship. Perhaps I should get tissues now.
It was not the news that wanted; however, it was not a shock. The circumstances dicated long ago that this would be a possibility. As my ears received the words, I just lay there abosorbing what I already knew. My cherished form of physical activity would have to diminish from my life. It simply does not compliment my body structure. Maybe I should light a candle for the predicament of loss.
Since it was already in the schedule, I drove to my family home to visit my mother. Upon arrival, she immediately expressed her dismay about my outfit. She wanted to take me to a restaurant and shorts would not be appropriate;however, I had jeans in my car. After changing, she gave me a beautiful scarf to keep myself warm. It was so very beautiful. Its far exceeded the beauty of any of the scarves in my vast collection which is what I shared with her. Her remark reminded me that she does enjoy shopping a great deal. Before my eyes blinked, there was a car in front of the house being driven by a vaguely familiar individual. My mother climbed inside. I soon followed.
It did not take me long to realize that I was in the company of the Saturday crew that spends time with my mother every single Saturday come rain or shine. She is often out of reach because they are at breakfast or in Ross. Perhaps a party or random church function. The thick Patios ran the length of the car as my body settled into the back seat. My mother soon inquired about the things in my ear.
A stop was made at a home somewhere on the east side of US1. My mother and her friend ventured into the house while I stayed behind in the car to tinker with my cell phone. A nice woman called to me from the house, and my hand greeted her in salutation. She soon followed the two to other women back to the car where she eagerly greeted me again. The gold Star of David caught my attention and prompted me to hop out of the car.
She embraced me with such warmth and joy. I felt quite comfortable asking her about her religious jewelry. It wasn’t long before my reportoire of Jewish music was being shared with her. A smile crossed my face as I returned to the car to be whisked away to yet another location.
The chatter of my mother with her friend was no different from that of teenage girls except for perhaps the content. Fiery outbursts of opinions mixed with laughter made for such an enjoyable scene to observe. Dinner was lovely. Words never escaped my mouth for fear that the scene would be interrupted. I ate entirely too much food and felt fat and happy in this beautiful place. The whole thing reminded me that a lot of what I do is because of the way my mother lives her life. She enjoys the company of her friends and does not stay under the shadow of my father. She is involved in so much during her retirement that it is often difficult to reach her because she is simply doing something for herself in her spare time. In retrospect, her life was filled with making sure that I was a priority. Its nice to see her enjoying things for herself at this stage of the game. I kept admiring her orange outfit that was no doubt purchased on one of those shopping excursions with her friends.
While driving home, my mind wondered out how fortunate I was to be included in such female bonding. My mother included me in her Circle of Sisterhood. Each woman was interesting with an island zest. My presence was welcomed and given a front seat to enjoy and partake in the fun. This is how it should be amongst all women. These are the experiences that shall propel me as progress continues on the Circle of Sisterhood. Why there is a circle this coming Sunday and new women are expected to attend for the Super Moon energy boost. Oh the time we shall have.
Monday, July 13, 2009 at 3:14pm ·
I am home from Egypt. Prior to leaving, I knew that this was not going to be a vacation but more of an experience. I was able to realize a complete cultural immersion to its fullest extent for the past 2wks. My reality was completely different from what is my normal life. If given the chance, I can not say that I would repeat this experience as it was extremely taxing on me physically as well as mentally. However, it was an experience that has enriched my life. The excursion did bring about the anticipated inspiration that will fuel my upcoming projects. I would like to thank everyone for their words of support and love while I crossed off yet another task on my bucket list.
I am happy to be home.
Of course you know that my comments about a 2wk stay in Egypt were not going to be that short…..
THINGS THAT EGYPT TAUGHT ME
1.) A toilet is a wonderful invention.
2.) You do not know how important deodorant is until people around you do not have it.
3.) The United States needs to take a cue from other places and teach its children foreign languages as a way of life.
4.) A shower is a gift from God.
5.) The sun is what will wipe out the earth from existence.
6.) Donkeys are loud animals.
7.) Always have tissue with you…wherever you go.
8.) Music is my first love.
9.) Peace and quiet are of vital importance in my life.
10.) Never stop dreaming.