Romancing the Alma Mater

Today, I returned to my alma mater for professional development. Being on the campus was surreal. There are so many new buildings that I almost got lost. I saw my old haunts and remembered the afternoons of just being around other musicians. The collegiate life looked rather attractive this morning, and it hit me that I appreciated it more now than when I was there. The opportunity to study exactly what you want without the demands of an adult life sounds rather escapist. It made me smile. The sculptures were grand and the traffic medium to heavy.
Something else crossed my mind. I was asked out a grand total of two times in college. Does that number seem a bit low to you? The dating process unfolded like blueprints. Did dating happen in college? No, not really. In retrospect, there was no concept of how to involve myself in romantic endeavors. The only guidelines that I was aware of were do not have sex and do not get pregnant. Those were the only two things that were drilled into me about the whole thing my entire life. There was a serious relationship that blossomed prior to graduation but it soon came crashing to the ground as my first year working came to an end.

THE INFAMOUS HURRY UP LIST

This dreaded list gets emphasized during this time of year. It could be that people look for conversation pieces in an effort to talk to one another at the fattening dining table; however, the best of intentions often cause the worst of pains..Let us begin.

1.)IF YOU ARE SINGLE…”WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO START DATING?” There are reasons why an individual may be single.

*Recent Breakup- A wise person would not jump into a serious relationship after ending one. A time of healing and readjustment needs to happen. A new relationship would simply build upon the baggage of the previous one and simply lead to more pain and heartache.

*DATING POOL- Many people who ask when are you going to start dating are actually unaware of the dating scene. It is not that easy to meet someone. Don’t believe me? Have you ever been able to have a serious conversation with someone in a club? Why are there so many online dating sites? There are matchmakers a foot as well that command a pretty penny for the opportunity of marriage. What if you are looking for a particular type of person that you simply have not seen and you prefer to wait?

*Spiritual Reasons- Sometimes, an individual is going through a spiritual awakening and does not need the added responsibility and pressures that a relationship can bring to the table. When on the quest to develop yourself on such a level, isolation is often a part of the equation. Sometimes, friends have to be removed as well because it is discovered that they were not friends to begin with.

2.) IF YOU ARE DATING…”WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET MARRIED?”
*Marriage is an institution that is recognized by god and the law. People are not bound in their own beliefs to recognize marriage as a legitimate goal.

*Divorces run rampant in this day and age. One has a lot to consider before considering an engagement and being tied to this individual for an entire lifetime…until death us do part. That is a serious piece of pie….

*Marriage may not be an option.

*When you are asked this question, does that person want to be married or simply attend a wedding?

2A.) IF YOU ARE DATING AND LIVING TOGETHER…”WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET MARRIED AND STOP LIVING IN SIN?”

*Please define the word sin. If you do have a definition, enlighten the rest of us that do not use this term.

*Is there a race of some sort to beat the clock? Tick tock tick….
*What if you just want to share a space with the person whom you love? Is this a crime of some sort?

3.) IF YOU ARE MARRIED…”WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A BABY?”
*Not every couple chooses to have a baby. They do have a right to be together without a child being a part of the package.

*Many couples choose to enjoy each other and develop as a couple for a long period of time prior to considering parenthood.

*Some couples are unable to conceive and may not want to participate in such conversation.

*How do you know that this couple hasn’t miscarried but desperately wants a child?

4.) IF YOU ARE MARRIED WITH A BABY…”HAVE YOU GIVEN ANY THOUGHT TO ANOTHER CHILD?”
*No, but have you given any thought to the fact that you are on your third piece of pie and your gym membership just expired?

*Yes, but unless you move out, we won’t be able to afford one.
*We did not want the first one but we consider it a blessing!
*No. We have decided that we want tons of dalmations instead…101 to be exact. Perhaps you can dog sit the next time we fly to the South of France….