Ancestral Connection

As I awoke from the bizarre dream, my mind wondered if my father was okay in the afterlife. The content of the dream begged this serious question. I had recently promised him that I would serve him in this new capacity until he came for me and had the chills upon delivery of the words. It bothered me a great deal. It was time for me to grace my ancestral altar with my presence.
Formal prayers were said first. I then followed with my concerns and voiced a request for guidance with the situation. I just wanted to know if my father was okay. Upon completed, my bed greeted me with enthusiasm and joy. While rolling over in the sheer bliss of the sheets, the warmth enveloped me. It was then that the realization of a spirit got my attention. It was with an instant deliberate action. It was soon determined that my grandfather had appeared to communicate with me. He must have heard me praying and wanted to put my fears at ease. My father was doing just fine. Perhaps there was a hidden meaning in the dream that has yet to be revealed.
It was a great comfort to receive confirmation so very quickly. This is the second time this year that my grandfather has made his presence known in such a strong way. The morning that my mother called to tell me that Daddy was being rushed to the hospital because he was in a coma, my grandfather announced that he had come for his son.
There was my distraught moment of complete loss when daddy was removed from life support yet was still alive for days after. It was clear that he was leaving this world. The lengthy process did not sit well with me. The spiritual presences were quite vivid during that time. I said his name aloud and he responded. There wasn’t any waiting or lapse of time. My voice expressed my state of complete shock as to why Daddy was still alive and this needed to be over with. My arms lit up like lights with goose bumps. As my body fell back into the sofa with tears, a request for help sprang from my lungs. It was then that my cell sounded with a text. I ran across the room to grab it. A medium decided at that very instant to check on me. Naturally, she soon heard about what had just happened. My grandfather sent her to help me.
There must be such rejoicing on the other side. Daddy was reunited with his beloved father. I was so sad to see Daddy leave us. However, it made my heart happy to see him waving at me while at his father’s side at the graveyard. It has been relayed to me that he enjoys the music that I play for him. Other people speak about him in the past tense. What helps me a great deal is that I use the present tense.

Turkey Visitation

Thanksgiving found me with a five hour performance at a familiar haunt. The opening of this holiday season would prove significant for me in that it would gauge the rest of the season. A first time happening popped its beautiful head in that I was also booked for the day after the dry bird for the first time ever. I wondered if there would be sadness over the missing presence of my father during this time. Fortunately, the sadness never came. Why, I found myself quite happy and rejoicing.
I think what helps me a great deal is that I do not think of my father in the past tense. My relationship with him continues. As sleep came after a terrible headache caused by a lack of meat, Daddy paid me a visit in a dream. He was happy as could be. I saw him in his home at the end of the hallway with a big smile on his face. It seems as if he was pleased with how I was caring for my mother and he encouraged me to continue along my way. My eyes opened the next day with great joy as the packing for the bris began.

Daddy’s Shadow

As you live your life in the aftermath of a parental transition, you experience a shadow that you can not visually see. You feel it every day. A wide range of emotions occur. You find yourself crying without explanation and extreme joy in random situations. Everyone has to face this experience. When I look at my mother now, my feelings are quite different. It is a blessing that I have her; however, the feeling of the ticking clock is not one that shakes off me easily.
This is my third encounter with death on a personal level. It has been different each time with each man. The murder of my boyfriend was unbearable and left me in a state of shock for approximately six months. It was not long ago that I lost a friend to yet another murder. The transition of my father is bittersweet. My understanding of what happens after the spirit leaves the body is more solid now than it was before. What I am experiencing now is the concept of never speaking to my father in his physical body again in my life. The truth of the matter is that I speak to him every day. When I wake up, I say good morning Daddy. We share a breakfast beverage before my schedule gets underway. We share conversations throughout the day and then a prayer before bed.
Music in all of its forms gets me through the day; Performing, listening, composing, and advising. The radio is on throughout the day. It is switched to my IPHONE at night for meditation music for sleeping purposes. Do I have bad moments? Of course. That is simply the nature of the beast. An amazing thing that has happened is that new people have befriended me during all of this. We chat and make plans for merriment and fun. My heart wants to be happy which is what I shall strive to be.
The physical separation is difficult. My mind eases knowing that one day, I shall be in my father’s arms again. We shall watch a movie and eat popcorn. I will perform songs from Phantom of the Opera. Why, we can even compare our bald heads…