THE VAGINA: The Misunderstanding

The portal of life. The entrance into the universe. The vagina has been misunderstood from the beginning. It has been locked away in chastity belts and chastised for its natural behavior. The covered part has been teased for its appearance and misued for dominance. Perhaps these things have happened because it is heavily viewed as the target and property of men.

The vagina is a part of a woman’s body. It is an important part of her body. It facilitates the menstral cycle(separate post), allows life to enter, assists in the relieving of waste amongst other things. It can be the source of great pleasure, and the source of great pain(in truth, the latter may be about the uterus). Let us take a deeper look at the poor, misunderstood vagina.

How did the word vagina come about? Furthermore, how did all of these other names for vagina come about? Pussy, whoo ha, vjj, information, Netherlands, punany, vagi, girl, present, yoni,. We have various comfort levels with each nickname. I personally do not love the word vagina and coined information instead. Vagina seems so medical to me for something that I have to deal with every single day of my life. Moving on.

When did it become appropriate for our information to be splashed all over television? From what I remember of television, music videos do not differ that much from pornography. It seems to be an invisible line. Obviously, there is a demographic for such material or else it wouldn’t be in business. Why is the information referred to so harshly by demeaning its owner? A hoe is a tool used for gardening. Let me go with that for a minute. A hoe is a tool that is used by different farmers. Should the farmers also receive names for using the hoe in the garden? Does the farmer use gloves when dealing with the hoe in the garden? If the gardners then have other seeds, is he considered a responsible gardner? Why does the emphasis fall on the hoe? Enter a girl unsure about her body into this scenario.

Your mother(hopefully) explains the things that you need to know about your body to you so that you can refrain from sex until you are married and not give birth outside of wedlock lest you be struck by some unknown electric force from the sky. Stories of sexual escapades may even reach your tender ears as you wonder about that virginal night of sweet bliss that in truth may hurt and not even last that long. What is wrong with this picture? Well, did you ever look at it in the mirror to see the differnt parts? A real one looks different from that medical sketch in textbooks. It has more hair too. Before I forget, the clitoris needs to be discussed.

The clitoris has not been mentioned. The sexual arousal differences between men and women have not been mentioned. SELF PLEASURE HAS NOT BEEN MENTIONED. There are women on this earth that do not experience orgasms. That is a crime against nature. You can bring forth life into the world but you do not enjoy your own body? How many of us were led to believe that our sexual pleasure depends on the whims of a man? We are sexual creatures without any one else in the room. Garden.
This should be celebrated. A woman has choices with this. Many, many choices.

A woman should be able to enjoy the sight of herself in the mirror and the thrust of her own hips as she rocks them back and forth. How else is the sacral chakra expected to be freed from its chains of bondage? Enjoy the sensation of playing with your own hair. Wear silk and taste honey. Throw on a nice black dress and strut around in heels(don’t tell my podiatrist that I said that). Wear that gorgeous feather boa that your girlfriend gave you but you are too shy to try on even in private. Take a nice hot bath by candle light and enjoy all of the wonderful sensations of being a woman. In other words, connect with and honor that which belongs to you; all of you.

I now wonder why I even named this the vagina. Wait, I know why. Your entire body is used to support it. Perhaps this part of our body is misunderstood because of the wrong emphasis that is placed on it. Instead of looking at it as something that can please a man, look at it as something that belongs to you. What do you want to do with it? Nothing? Something? Everything? You have options. A healthy one can work wonders for you. Gripping super powers come to mind. You can even decorate it if you like. If we are to understand our own vaginas, we have to understand everything that goes into it existing. It isn’t just that thing that is splashed all over the television for men to enjoy. It is much more than a comfort zone for a penis. It is something sacred that belongs to us.


I recently joined a group on Facebook that is called: I BLAME DISNEY FOR MY HIGH EXPECTATIONS IN MEN. While thinking about the concept of this name, I realized that all of these wonderful Disney movies that we watched as children did not help us deal with reality. How did this fairy tale of Prince Charming get started and why are we still falling for it? Why are we groomed for it?

“You have to take care of your hair so that you can attract the attention of a young man…..”

“If you want children, you should really start now…”

“Well, have you given any thought to settling down?”

“You want to find someone to complete you…”

“You take the last name of the man to honor him…”

“What do you think your role in this family is?”

“How do you expect to get married if you can’t cook!”
(I WILL MARRY A CHEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

During some weddings, the educational backgrounds of the couple are mentioned. It would seem as if getting married is given equal footing with a degree…..what? How? Is the marriage ceremony now the equivalent of a graduation ceremony, a major accomplishment that you have for your resume? “Oh, you are to be commended for picking a good mate to father your children and support you.” What about simply celebrating the fact that a strong connection has been made to another human being? (which should be done on various levels and not reserved just for an expensive wedding.)

Where does this notion of the beautiful blushing maiden being rescued by her strapping Prince Charming originate? Disney even has a wedding package that sells this concept. Anita Baker has a song about this illusion, and it is more accurate about what happens in real life. Forever is a long time. It is not necessarily a magical thing. Getting along with another person in a sacred union is not always a walk in the park. It takes work, time, and dedication. It isn’t always filled with lush beautiful colors and glass slippers. More often than not, you will probably break your heel. When do we graduate from this fairy tale line of thinking into, I shall prepare myself for the sake of my own personal fulfillment?

Instead of singing, “Someday My Prince Will Come”, I would rather slay some dragons myself. Instead of “Wishing for the One I Love”, I would like to love my own life. Why do I have to style my hair according to what a man may or may not like? What about me? I need to like it. Its my hair on my head, and I am paying for it. When the now famous, “YOU COMPLETE ME” was uttered, I think the fairy tale line of thinking was extended. Now, there is a movie reference for life: you need a mate to complete you and make you whole because you are considered incomplete without your other half. I want to throw myself off a cliff.

Half. Whole. Each person has dualities: masculine and feminine. It is bad enough that the world emphasizes the masculine which has damaged us on a whole. Women have grown away from their natural selves and pass this inflated nonsense on to the next generation. Even worse than that, many of us accept just the yang as our own approach to life. Example: Sex. Yes, I am going there.

How many of us thought that just getting access to sex was everything that we wanted? If I can just have some dick, I will be fine. Did anyone tell you about the clitoris or that most women can’t orgasm with just vaginal intercourse? Was the clitoris mentioned when you learned about how a woman gets pregnant? Well, if a woman isn’t aware of how to please herself…what am I referencing? Masturbation. If a woman doesn’t know how to please herself and relies on the typical gas station method of a man…you know, pulls in, fills up and leaves…how does she ever get satisfied? There is an entire industry dedicated to helping the woman find her own hot spots so that she can enjoy sex on the highest tantric level. However, if she was encouraged to explore herself instead of thrown at a man like a fish to a whale, she may have greater levels of sheer bliss without paying a sex therapist.

There is something to be said about a return to the way things where, a more traditional approach. Women used to console each other not fight on television like boxers. We are natural healers that understand the herbs in the garden that we tend not pill popping machines. It used to be that we understood our intuition, our inner guidance without it being blocked by the loud obnoxious influences of the world. Our Moon Time was considered sacred. The grandmother used to be in the center of the society not in the nursing home tucked away in the corner. Yes, as I tweet on my IPHONE, the words do talk about the divine, the feminine. Yes, as I type on my FACEBOOK timeline, the subject is about the women’s’ circle that I am organizing.

It was just earlier today that I was told that I know something about teas…all of us know about teas. I have taken to sharing them with my friends because I believe in their power to heal our ailments. They were the original medicine. They grew freely in our gardens and we boiled them for various reasons. There wasn’t a prescription or even a physical. If you had nausea, you gathered some mint and drank it. End of story.

Back to Cinderella and company. These entertaining tales of Prince Charming have gone way beyond their scripts. I am not saying that Prince Charming doesn’t exist. He could be right around the corner. Its just that a life should not be groomed just to find out if he is. There is so much to experience as a woman on this planet. The journey is often quite beautiful and rather fulfilling. I just think that many aspects of true living are missed when we fall for that Happily Ever After line over and over again. My tea is ready.