BRIO: THE SURPRISE HANGOUT

It was not the news that wanted; however, it was not a shock. The circumstances dicated long ago that this would be a possibility. As my ears received the words, I just lay there abosorbing what I already knew. My cherished form of physical activity would have to diminish from my life. It simply does not compliment my body structure. Maybe I should light a candle for the predicament of loss.
Since it was already in the schedule, I drove to my family home to visit my mother. Upon arrival, she immediately expressed her dismay about my outfit. She wanted to take me to a restaurant and shorts would not be appropriate;however, I had jeans in my car. After changing, she gave me a beautiful scarf to keep myself warm. It was so very beautiful. Its far exceeded the beauty of any of the scarves in my vast collection which is what I shared with her. Her remark reminded me that she does enjoy shopping a great deal. Before my eyes blinked, there was a car in front of the house being driven by a vaguely familiar individual. My mother climbed inside. I soon followed.
It did not take me long to realize that I was in the company of the Saturday crew that spends time with my mother every single Saturday come rain or shine. She is often out of reach because they are at breakfast or in Ross. Perhaps a party or random church function. The thick Patios ran the length of the car as my body settled into the back seat. My mother soon inquired about the things in my ear.
A stop was made at a home somewhere on the east side of US1. My mother and her friend ventured into the house while I stayed behind in the car to tinker with my cell phone. A nice woman called to me from the house, and my hand greeted her in salutation. She soon followed the two to other women back to the car where she eagerly greeted me again. The gold Star of David caught my attention and prompted me to hop out of the car.
She embraced me with such warmth and joy. I felt quite comfortable asking her about her religious jewelry. It wasn’t long before my reportoire of Jewish music was being shared with her. A smile crossed my face as I returned to the car to be whisked away to yet another location.
The chatter of my mother with her friend was no different from that of teenage girls except for perhaps the content. Fiery outbursts of opinions mixed with laughter made for such an enjoyable scene to observe. Dinner was lovely. Words never escaped my mouth for fear that the scene would be interrupted. I ate entirely too much food and felt fat and happy in this beautiful place. The whole thing reminded me that a lot of what I do is because of the way my mother lives her life. She enjoys the company of her friends and does not stay under the shadow of my father. She is involved in so much during her retirement that it is often difficult to reach her because she is simply doing something for herself in her spare time. In retrospect, her life was filled with making sure that I was a priority. Its nice to see her enjoying things for herself at this stage of the game. I kept admiring her orange outfit that was no doubt purchased on one of those shopping excursions with her friends.
While driving home, my mind wondered out how fortunate I was to be included in such female bonding. My mother included me in her Circle of Sisterhood. Each woman was interesting with an island zest. My presence was welcomed and given a front seat to enjoy and partake in the fun. This is how it should be amongst all women. These are the experiences that shall propel me as progress continues on the Circle of Sisterhood. Why there is a circle this coming Sunday and new women are expected to attend for the Super Moon energy boost. Oh the time we shall have.

THE OLIVE PART II: IT CONTINUES TO ROLL

TUESDAY, JULY 10, 2012

It was five minutes prior to the Happy Hour potluck on a Friday evening when we were informed that one of the guests would not be in attendance.  Everyone present already knew why without asking.  One rogue guest texted back asking what was the name of the guy.  The response confirmed that we had been tossed away at the last minute for a date.  There wasn’t even the courtesy of clear communication.

Relationships are important.  They often teach us valuable lessons about life and ourselves.  What is the lesson when a woman allows a man to control her time including her bonding with her friends?  Get comfortable.  I will even give you a minute to get some snacks.  If anyone is getting popcorn, please share with me.

There can be many reasons for such enabling: little to no self esteem, body image issues, extreme fear, loneliness, and the list continues.  However, it is hard for one to seek assistance for such problems if denial is present or doesn’t desire true change.  A person can want change, but it does not happen without a true dedication on the part of the individual.  It requires a large amount of effort that many are not prepared to execute which then gives birth to creative excuses.  It is often easier to remain in an unhealthy pattern inside a cage with an open door.  I will use the example of weight loss.

Client # One

She approaches her fitness trainer.  “Can we schedule my privates for this month? I want to make sure that I can have them in between my normal classes so that I can maximize upon my endurance.  Also, do you have any handouts on nutrition? I started cooking more often and want to understand what I should be eating…”.

Client # Two

This client is “friends” with the first client and sees her success and is jealous of it.  She wants to have the weight drop off too but realizes what it would truly take to make that happen.  This is how she approaches the instructor.  “I want to schedule privates with you.  How much are they? Yes, I know that I asked you this three times last week but wanted to make sure.  I wouldn’t mind losing weight, but this is so much work.  I would rather go shopping for more clothes or go to dinner.  The class is a full hour?  I do not know.  I will get back to you….”(and of course never does)

I do not feel the need to elaborate on this scenario any further.  It speaks for itself.

Many of the mentioned issues that we face could be eliminated or at least worked on if we could come together and discuss them; yes, in the sacred circle.  The circle is connected and supported on all sides.  Women used to do this as a regular practice long ago. We supported each other openly which made our journey easier.  We were not isolated or left to feel overwhelmed.  We spoke our hearts and minds together in a safe sisterly environment.  Sincere conversation about ourselves could go a long way to find solutions or at least to begin the healing process.  We used to be sisters.  We used to take care of each other.  We used to have the wise women that served as our elders.  They were called upon to advise us in good times and bad.  Women still have these practices today but they need to be exploded on a grand scale.

 

A lot has happened to divide us and to keep us divided.  Many of you work tirelessly to help your sisters to heal themselves and the world.  These efforts must intensify in order for us to realize our true natural selves.  We have god given gifts that have been run into the ground and cast aside as evil or bizarre when in truth those gifts connect us to ourselves, to our spirit, to our universe.  We are natural born healers.  How is it possible for so many beautiful women with amazing talents to just end up at the bottom of their own lists? Women are important, and women need to know that, own the knowledge, and live in it.  The woman brings forth life into the universe.  The capabilities of a woman are endless, and they amaze me daily.  Let us stand together and embrace those that have yet to hear this message.  It starts with one desire, one voice, one thought of change.  My desire for this feminine unity brought me to this blog.  What will your desire bring you to do? Organize a festival, create a circle, maybe even compose a song or make a phone call.  Whatever it is…we can do this together. My candle is lit, and I am passing you a match.