Sunday Blues

My day began at noon. I ventured out into the world to buy herbs at the local farmer’s market. Publix soon saw me purchasing meat and pasta. Once I returned home, leftovers were warmed for lunch. That is when I felt the crown that cost me approximately $200.00 pop out of place. My fingers reached into my mouth, and placed it on the table where it still sits, courtesy of P.F. Changs. Disappointment washed over me as the recent dental procedures replayed themselves in my mind. My saving grace was that my permanent crown would arrive on Sept 1st. Until then, perhaps a liquid diet would be in order.
As I thought about attending a gathering, the idea of being with people began to frighten me. Would I have to talk to people? How long would I stay? Upon selecting my lovely white skirt as my attire, mother nature let me know that I wasn’t pregnant and a spot of bright red blood splattered on the fabric. After throwing my clothes into the sink to soak, I emailed the hostess and explained that my issues were too much for me to be social today. Did anything go right today? Well, sort of.
Ever since my presence has returned from NYC, it is all that I can think about. How will NYC see me again? Is there a festival or reason for me to be there? My interests are divinely feminine and artistically driven. Surely, there is a purpose for me in NY. It appears in my FB newsfeed every day, and other signs point to my desire to walk up and down the streets of that energetic city that never sleeps. There is so much that I have yet to see and experience. There is always a cafe just around the corner where a great cup of coffee can be experienced. The different cultures just line up one after the other. My mind, my spirit…we want to go back. Soon. A potential love interest also happens to be visiting there as this post is typed.
The second glass of wine is slowly taking and there is a journal and bowl of popcorn that both require my attention….

Why I Hate My Menstrual Cycle

Dear Uterus,
I think that it is time that you understand how I feel about you. I have tried to keep the peace by purchasing different types of products to accommodate your various moods. You care nothing about my precious underwear or my life. You bleed for unreasonable lengths of time and cause bottles of Alleve to simply appear. Friends have begun delivering hot fudge sundaes to appease my ridiculous cravings.
There have been medical interventions since the day you arrived; the ultrasounds! I have tried to embrace you by wearing red bracelets to honor your presence. The fact of the matter is that I hate it when you are here and love it when you are gone. You interrupt my life as I know it. Sex is put on hold. Let me repeat that to you. Sex is put on hold. Suddenly, I am in pain and experience strong emotional upheavals. Lest we forget the trauma that you caused earlier this year. I was screaming first thing in the morning and crying prior to noon. My body spent the remainder of the day putting a hot air balloon to shame as I lay helpless on the bathroom floor.
I wore all black to work today. It was the perfect color. At approximately 10:45am, you decided to allow entire gallons of blood to gush forth like a flash flood. All of a sudden, my body felt flushed with heat. I thought that I was going to break into a sweat. As I reached for my chair, I quickly sat down so that the crimson waves could hopefully subside without anyone hearing sounds.
I do not want children yet there are stretch marks on my body. I am proud to be a woman and plan to reincarnate as this gender forever. Why on God’s green earth do I have to experience this “gift” every single month of my natural life is beyond my understanding. Why do women cry when they no longer get their period? I personally plan to have a party and invite all of my friends.
Perhaps in the future, you could be more understanding of the havoc that you cause. I will also be sending you a list of the type of underwear that I like from Victoria’s Secret. You owe me.