The Heartbreak of My Birthday

The renewal of my life cycle is the most important day of the year for me. I tend to surround myself with friends and feast with various forms of entertainment. I start planning in December. Many people informed me that they were attending. However, little did I know that it was not true.
One by one cancelations started streaming in within an hour of the dinner. At least some people informed me that they were not coming. Others did not even say anything to me. They simply did not show. There I sat for thirty minutes awaiting company that never manifested. The lovely chairs looked back at me with their emptiness. One friend appeared. She was the only one that kept me company all for a while.
After the sub standard meal, I went home and became a puddle on my floor. Alone. In the darkness. I did not want to be alone on my birthday. Yet, there I was. It was a cold reminder that my importance was secondary yet again. I was thankful for the text messages, fb love, and phone calls. A card even came in the mail. The tears have yet to dry from my wet face as I try to nurse myself back to a rational state. It was the worst birthday of my life.

Facebook: A Happy Moment


There I was in a nervous bubble all by my lonesome. The time for my consult about my upcoming root canal was upon me. It went well enough. The doctor was kind and explained everything in an easy manner. The office was quiet and empty much to my liking; however, the office manager seemed as if she was about to open a major can of worms with another office on the phone. She was requesting a supervisor. My card was swiped with the heavy co-pay, and I waltzed off to my car. The procedure was set for early Friday morning on sunny Miami Beach.
As I boarded the elevator, I checked Facebook and sow the most amazing thing posted on my timeline. A huge smile consumed my face. Another passenger boarded and mentioned how happy I looked. I shared the post with her, and she commented how social media should be used in this manner all of the time. It simply made my day. My fears about the visit simply vanished as thoughts of sisterhood and support entered my mind. The timing of the post couldn’t not have arrived at a better time.
Even when we think that we are all alone, we are not. Someone is thinking about you in a good light. Others yet appreciate your presence. Why there are some people that simply relish in hearing the sound of your voice. It is an amazing thing to be connected to other people. It enriches life and makes those uneasy moments a little less uneasy….


You knew her as the bright bubbly one. A daredevil. She would do and try anything under the sun. She is a sweet person to be around and takes excellent care of herself. A man enters the picture. You then watch your once sunflower of a friend diminish to nothing more than a seed. It begins with not seeing you as much to not seeing you at all because it causes too many problems with the person to whom she clings. While this is not always the case, I have witnessed it too often. It was part of the reason why LadySpeaks began in the first place. Why do women settle for less than what they deserve to the point that they alter themselves in every way shape and form in order to please an entity that will not serve their higher good?

She stops dancing. She stops being herself. Her normal haunts are no longer haunted even though she secretly wants to be there. The family fades into the background and girlfriends vanish entirely. If you do catch her in passing, she does smile and hug you but there is something obviously wrong. I turns into we with misty eyes. There is not much that you can do but watch from afar. If you do choose to wait, if she returns to her true self, welcome her with open arms. I have had the great fortune of doing this. It feels wonderful.

It goes back to the origin of the damn olive that continues to roll. She would rather cling to a man that will sleep with her at night than to be alone. If the knight in shining armor takes you away from the lifestyle that made you happy for the sake of riding his stick of poison, how does this uplift you? When you live under a controlling imp, you crumble and darkness encircles you.
My sister, you die a slow death instead of living a full life. A life that you once knew.