In 2013, my mother traveled to Jamaica. She purchased a knitted swimsuit for me that was in the design of the Jamaican flag. Unfortunately, it was unable to fit. I comforted myself by saying I would give it to a smaller friend with a frame that could appreciate the suit. Fast forward to last Sunday morning. The sun rose, and I realized that I was beach bound. Since so much weight has dropped off me since February, I decided to try it on. Not only did it fit, but it looked good on me. It gave me such joy to wear it and enjoy the wind on so much of my skin.
These days bring me a lot of attention. Coworkers pull me to the side and ask me what I am doing. They want me to share the secret. Several people have begun dieting because of what they have seen with my body. Doors are simply held open for me wherever I go. It is a whole new world. Cooking has also become very important as I’ve picked up new tricks to keep myself well nourished.
When I cook my dinner, I pack my lunch before I eat. There are tupperware cases of salad laying around in case I do not have time to chop first thing in the morning. The microwave is only used at work, and water is everywhere. Water bottles travel back and forth to work and there are water jugs in my office if a refill is needed.
The types of comments that I receive these days is material for a comedy routine…..
1.) You need to retire those jeans immediately. They are hanging off you.
2.) Do you have an ass?
3.) Wine does not support your sexiness?
4.) Can you eat here?
5.) When do you cheat?
The rain has prevented me from my morning walk. It does not mean that I am going to skip exercising today. Perhaps I can walk later this afternoon before my evening adventure or maybe I shall bust a move right after my breakfast bowl of organic yogurt. My body is sore from the small amount of exercise that it has been exposed to which means that it is not good for me to stop now.
While consuming my green goddess salad at Panera last night, I explained to my mother’s sisterhood that the weight loss that has occurred due to my diet is amazing to me. A torture master was not employed to help me exercise and this has happened. It brought about the thought of combining actual exercise with my strict eating. My stomach now comes to the surface with one question, “Are you necessary? Do you really need to be here?” Maybe I can be the one on the next cover of Sports Illustrated.
I told my mother that ever since this has happened, I have been obsessed with how I look. My reflection is admired in the mirror every single morning by my eyes, and they like what they see; what say with clothes…..there is a glow on my face in pictures. This is all supported by what I consume. It is an old equation that has truly taken on a new meaning for me.
It took over my life like a ten foot wave. Greens. Plain meat. Quinoa. Water. This has been my standard meal for about seven weeks now. I have done more consecutive days of cooking than I care to remember. It was only supposed to last for six weeks. However, one sandwich caused a major relapse and signaled that the diet must continue indefinitely in order to combat a lifetime of poor eating.
One would think that I miss eating whatever I want. The fact of the matter is that I feel thankful for the change. It was abrupt. The lack of warning meant that I did not have time to overthink it or take a long time to prepare. It was black and white; do it or remain unhealthy. Period. The side effects have been life changing.
Weight has dropped off my body. Pants hang of my shrinking frame. A lot of attention is bestowed upon me wherever I go. While confidence has always been a strong point for me, it has increased. The way I approach people is very different from before. If I have something to say, it is said without hesitation. Wine is something that I do miss and the occasional cup of coffee would be really nice. When I think about the history of Diabetes in my family combined with the unhealthy components of foods that I enjoy, it just seems to make sense that this diet turn into more of a lifestyle change. It is strict. However, within its boundaries, I have found a new sense of freedom.
The cooking continues along with my exploration of green veggies. Food tastes different to me now. I no longer eat for pleasure. I eat for survival. My body has proven to me that my eating alone can determine the state of my health. There are different textures in a salad. There is more to it than just mere grass. Yogurt is my best friend and water is simply a staple. It is possible for me to dine in fine restaurants. It just means that there are a lot of specifications for the chef. Protein and greens are my friends.
Forty looks real good on me. My diet has one more week left on the clock, and I look good. These days find me wanting to have a very soft feminine look. I have been invited to a wedding which has caused a massive outfit consideration. The perfect dress finally appeared this evening, and I said yes. Make-up, shoes, and jewelry have also fallen into place. Through the power of technology, two friends were able to give their input. Luckily, both of them always had the same opinion on each ensemble.
My first Friday night in the 40s finds me surrounded by shopping bags and tissue paper. My fridge is filled to capacity with food that I cooked for my consumption this week which includes: quinoa, chicken, and broccoli. The wine and desserts have been set aside for a more appropriate time; saving them for a special occasion. Scandal reruns are running on loop as normal on Netflix for me. A random text arrives every now and again. My water is flavored with apple cider vinegar. The roses need to be thrown away. It is nice and quiet…but I miss my popcorn…..
This new book brings me a lot of excitement. Many life events will take place in this decade. I plan to marry the love of my life, and give birth to a bouncing baby. Why, I have already started planning the nursery. While I chose not to make any goals for 2017, it has been hard to stay in the moment as usual. My future feels so very bright and filled with happiness that I have never thought possible before. The idea of me being married or with a family of my own has never been a lasting thought until now. My heart looks forward to what lays ahead on the horizon.
I gifted a coworker with a journal for her upcoming baby girl. She was so touched by the special gesture. We have spent many a day simply talking about personal space and all things baby. I felt comfortable talking to her about my hidden desire to give birth. It was a safe space for me to express myself. It seemed only natural that I help her to celebrate her own gift.
While sitting in the GYN office yesterday afternoon, I spied a tagline in a magazine that helped me come to a realization. There is clothing available that allows you to breast feed without making an announcement to the entire world. While I am concerned about what will happen to my breasts as a result, breastfeeding seems to be the route for me to go. My division of natural vs. unnatural still looms around everything but, it will be important to give a baby the best foot going forward.
My color selection for the nursery has gone from lilac to off white. I am a strong believer in pink for girls and blue for boys; however, who decided that each color was exclusive based on gender? It would be best if I simply chose a nice soft color that can be adjusted based on the personality that will come into existence. An elephant will be included. The thought of an interior designer even came to mind but that quickly vanished.
Is it wrong to plan a nursery before a wedding? Maybe. But this is where I am…..
It is Saturday morning, and I have finished two laps around the park. My Keifer is currently keeping me company. My morning probiotics have been consumed. Lunch will consist of Meatloaf, Okra, and Quinoa. My beverage of choice is room temperature water with two tablespoons of Apple Cider Vinegar. After weighing myself last night, the scaled informed me that additional weight loss had occurred.
The drastic change in my diet was a requirement as of three weeks ago. I was placed on a very strict diet. Pounds have literally dropped off my frame overnight. Exercise hasn’t even been incorporated until this morning. Last night brought memories of pizza delivery. It would have been so easy for me instead of chopping veggies and checking the oven. A few motivational texts from friends reminded me to stay on course. There are another three weeks to go before my restrictions can be relaxed.
While others are dining on my birthday cake, I shall be splurging on a bowl of berries. That is the extent of the wild and crazy food that I get to consume for my upcoming renewal of my life cycle. I guess the surprising present is that with as smaller frame, my health has also improved.
It was a three day weekend. There were so many events that held my interest. I even had a ticket that I had purchased months ago to attend a function. Instead of attending a few or even one, I opted to maintain a low profile. My nagging cramps and probiotic usage did not help matters. Nonetheless, it was the ultimate introvert episode. Netflix was my BFF, and my social height was wandering into an independent cinema to watch a popular movie. That is a move that will definitely be made again.
What if more people simply pulled away from being all over the place all of the time? What does being busy all of the time accomplish? At the end of the day, it really comes down to the close circle that you build for yourself. There will always be a major event that is simply to die for. A new show will always be on the horizon. That new talent will always make its debut on the very night that you need a nap. Well, a three day nap was required. Sometimes, it is just easier not to deal with people. Work exhausts me because it requires interaction with others all day long. I am never alone or have any privacy. That stays with you throughout the weekend. So, for this little vacation, the world did not see me.
People are running around scared. No one wants to travel. There is a rally almost every day, and orange is definitely a popular color. How does one remain sane while going forward?
I have found a list of books written by feminist authors that I plan to read. It is important to be educated about the foundation that allowed this climate to create the current storm. Instead of complaining all the time, fun activities consume me. Yesterday, I took a group of women to the race track. Lunch at Texas de Brazil was the perfect follow up. There is one more thing that I strongly suggest.
Kiss someone. Not on the cheek and not quickly. Have a full make out session with that special person. Invite them for tea and do not drink a drop. The intimacy of this act can leave a person in a heightened state of euphoria which tends to dim the lights of anything negative. Cheers.
What are your New Year Resolutions? What do you want to accomplish in 2017? None of it interests me. I do not make resolutions. I have been known to list goals, create webs, and even do an occasional vision board for this time of year; however, this year, time finds me standing still. I converse with a select few and mostly keep to myself. 2016 is an honest blur to me. As with any year, there have been highs and lows. This has not been a memory keeper or a deal breaker. It was just another year in my life.
The upcoming year marks my 40th life cycle renewal. I have been thinking about how I would like to celebrate it. In truth, I want to wake up next to the ocean. Beachside hotels are being researched as we speak. Other than that, 2017 will arrive without much fuss for me. By midnight on the famous eve, I will be asleep. Clubs have never been an option for me, and my body dictates a very strict clock to deal with or else there is hell to pay. Perhaps a glass of red wine for merriment.
The thoughts have turned to the New Year. People are beginning to reflect upon 2016 and plan for 2017. This year is a complete blur for me. There is not anything that stands out for me. I find myself captivated by a local creative that makes journals. She is currently custom designing a few for me. It is my practice to distribute gifts for the New Year. A chance to welcome in the new while completing a cycle is an epic undertaking. It is an opportunity that is not to be taken lightly and it should be celebrated. Why, it may be time to plan a circle.