Possessive

She erased our plans because her boyfriend did not like the fact that she talked about me all the time. How does this action help the situation? Didn’t she just further enable his possessive behavior? This is a small step away from failing to buy an olive (reference the post, “THE OLIVE”). Many women have expressed a need to keep their friendship gatherings to themselves because for some strange reason, their boyfriends will create some strange scenario which further engages their time. Then there are the couples that do everything single thing on the planet together. If friendships are allowed to continue, the new flavor of the month has to tag along everywhere. Girls’ night is suddenly awkward because Greg is here. Where is the individual time to breathe as a person? Why, there are some that make plans entirely around the availability of their boyfriends. Others yet ask permission…..WHAT?

It is a complete mystery to me why these things take place. I was under the impression that a woman was her own person and had the right to do as she pleased. Yes, of course there is couple time which is important; however, why is a woman expected to sacrifice her life just to please a man? Wait. I am wrong. How does a woman fall under the impression that she has to sacrifice her life just to make her mate stick around? It seems as if that is too much to ask for the sake of a relationship. Is it truly worth having at that point? No friends. No outside interaction. Sad.

A Christmas story of mine comes to mind. Plans were made with a rather tall individual. His height pierced the sky. We were going to rendezvous after spending time with our families on Christmas Day. He would call me later in the day. The call never came. Instead of pouting, I spent the remainder of the day with my family and enjoyed myself. Boxing Day morning rolled around and it found me en route to fun with a friend. My cell phone rang. The deep voice announced that he was driving to my home at that very minute. My brown eyes blinked as these words were said aloud, “I am not at home……bye bye…”. Weeks later, I was informed that my panties were in a bunch because I did not try to accommodate the fact that he was coming to my home. My brown eyes blinked again as I heard my own voice calmly explain that the plans were not properly executed for whatever reason on Christmas Day. Why was I then expected to be twiddling my thumbs wasting away an entire day afterwards awaiting the arrival of Prince not so Charming? Perhaps, he expected me to drop everything and rush back to my house to greet him. Needless to say, nothing ever came of that relationship because I am just not that kind of girl. I do not bark on command, and I certainly do not do as I am told.

Earlier this year, it was my extreme pleasure to sit down and have a nice long conversation with a rather impressive sister of mine. She is very much into the days of the goddess and things of the like. She put my confusion into words. Every time a woman allows a significant other to dictate the flow of her life, the sisterhood experiences a betrayal. This statement resonated with me a great deal as I thought about the different friendships that were destroyed because of the presence of insecurity. How many times did Maggie vanish? (another Olive post reference). A woman needs more than one person in her life. It takes a village to raise a child but you must then live in that village. When the men go off to hunt, wouldn’t it be nice to go and chat with your sisters? How is that going to happen if you abandon them all and just wait in that house for your hunter to return?

I reconnected for a brief time with the individual that had to cancel our plans because of her jealous boyfriend. When she saw me, she immediately stopped what she was doing and we hugged each other for what seemed like an eternity. We were so very happy to see each other. It was wonderful to see her. She looked great. She is still with the insecure male. She still has my prayers.

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