What is Left

Sometimes, the process of going through the motions when you have no other choice, can leave you feeling numb. The ho hum drum of daily life can be wrought with being rushed and overwhelmed with too many demands from sources that are not on the top of your list. Isolation and desparation may also rear their ugly heads. How does one add a subtraction sign to this equation?

It is important to focus on what is important. As long as I am working towards an ultimate goal that has meaning to me, it puts the entire picture into perspective. I am not looking to win a battle because the war is the end result; there is where the victory is of the utmost importance.
My goal is to transition into a career that is rewarding to me on all levels.

Before this day, I do not think that I realized how much this change would consume my entire life. Sacrifices on all levels have to be made. The change alone is a full time position in itself. Tweaking resumes and networking are constant efforts especially while trying to maintain regular responsibilities at work and home.

I have also learned the hard way that there are many people that do not agree and oppose the mere thought of leaving a career behind or retalliate to venting of the situation. Some people have truly hurt my feelings with some of the most horrible comments. However, how could they truly know what I am experiencing without being in my shoes? It doesn’t help when those closest to me state that I should be thankful to be employed and to remember how hard it is to get a job elsewhere…what would I do? (Lesson learned: understand that you can not vent at large…..)

It is true. I should be thankful that I have a job, and it did take me a long time to figure out what to do. The fact of the matter is that the lessons learned from my job will help propel me into the next chapter of this story, and I am thankful for maintaining what will be my background one day. Since finally coming to a conclusion as to what I should do with myself, I have chosen to not broadcast it to the world lest discouraging words are thrown at me like daggers. Positive company is needed at this time as this is not an easy road to tread.

Fortunately for me, the universe has been watching. Information and people have suddenly appeared to help me along the way. The Career Transition card from my oracle deck appeared this morning much to my delight, and I posted it in the LadySpeaks fb group. The Business Reflections Workshop covered how one can begin to plan an exit strategy. My pen was quick to copy all of this information because one thing is evident. Either I do something drastic or I will continue to be here looking for ways to deal with a situation that grows worse by the seconds. Some days are better than others with today being in the others category.

In the meantime, I have found myself wanting to stretch more while wearing my black and white leg warmers because they are funny looking. Just when I think that I want some company, a friend calls for tea. This week was suppossed to be quite busy with an event happening every night clear into next week. That has also changed, and I now forsee myself working diligently on my homelearning assignment from the workshop. My mind must stay calm if I am going to be able to focus on keeping myself in one piece while dealing with everything at once. Candles help and so will dancing. I have taken to cooking interesting meals with green veggies and have enjoyed a long period of silence this evening. Tomorrow is another day, and my bed chambers are calling me.

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