THE OLIVE PART II: IT CONTINUES TO ROLL

TUESDAY, JULY 10, 2012

It was five minutes prior to the Happy Hour potluck on a Friday evening when we were informed that one of the guests would not be in attendance.  Everyone present already knew why without asking.  One rogue guest texted back asking what was the name of the guy.  The response confirmed that we had been tossed away at the last minute for a date.  There wasn’t even the courtesy of clear communication.

Relationships are important.  They often teach us valuable lessons about life and ourselves.  What is the lesson when a woman allows a man to control her time including her bonding with her friends?  Get comfortable.  I will even give you a minute to get some snacks.  If anyone is getting popcorn, please share with me.

There can be many reasons for such enabling: little to no self esteem, body image issues, extreme fear, loneliness, and the list continues.  However, it is hard for one to seek assistance for such problems if denial is present or doesn’t desire true change.  A person can want change, but it does not happen without a true dedication on the part of the individual.  It requires a large amount of effort that many are not prepared to execute which then gives birth to creative excuses.  It is often easier to remain in an unhealthy pattern inside a cage with an open door.  I will use the example of weight loss.

Client # One

She approaches her fitness trainer.  “Can we schedule my privates for this month? I want to make sure that I can have them in between my normal classes so that I can maximize upon my endurance.  Also, do you have any handouts on nutrition? I started cooking more often and want to understand what I should be eating…”.

Client # Two

This client is “friends” with the first client and sees her success and is jealous of it.  She wants to have the weight drop off too but realizes what it would truly take to make that happen.  This is how she approaches the instructor.  “I want to schedule privates with you.  How much are they? Yes, I know that I asked you this three times last week but wanted to make sure.  I wouldn’t mind losing weight, but this is so much work.  I would rather go shopping for more clothes or go to dinner.  The class is a full hour?  I do not know.  I will get back to you….”(and of course never does)

I do not feel the need to elaborate on this scenario any further.  It speaks for itself.

Many of the mentioned issues that we face could be eliminated or at least worked on if we could come together and discuss them; yes, in the sacred circle.  The circle is connected and supported on all sides.  Women used to do this as a regular practice long ago. We supported each other openly which made our journey easier.  We were not isolated or left to feel overwhelmed.  We spoke our hearts and minds together in a safe sisterly environment.  Sincere conversation about ourselves could go a long way to find solutions or at least to begin the healing process.  We used to be sisters.  We used to take care of each other.  We used to have the wise women that served as our elders.  They were called upon to advise us in good times and bad.  Women still have these practices today but they need to be exploded on a grand scale.

 

A lot has happened to divide us and to keep us divided.  Many of you work tirelessly to help your sisters to heal themselves and the world.  These efforts must intensify in order for us to realize our true natural selves.  We have god given gifts that have been run into the ground and cast aside as evil or bizarre when in truth those gifts connect us to ourselves, to our spirit, to our universe.  We are natural born healers.  How is it possible for so many beautiful women with amazing talents to just end up at the bottom of their own lists? Women are important, and women need to know that, own the knowledge, and live in it.  The woman brings forth life into the universe.  The capabilities of a woman are endless, and they amaze me daily.  Let us stand together and embrace those that have yet to hear this message.  It starts with one desire, one voice, one thought of change.  My desire for this feminine unity brought me to this blog.  What will your desire bring you to do? Organize a festival, create a circle, maybe even compose a song or make a phone call.  Whatever it is…we can do this together. My candle is lit, and I am passing you a match.

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