A Regular Day

It was a regular morning in my life. My cell phone rang. It was my best friend at the time. She wanted me to contact Carlos about something when I interrupted her. I asked why she could not call him herself. She sounded as if she was going to drop the phone when she responded with, “I don’t have his number”. It is hard to believe that she spent thousands of dollars with this individual and did not have his phone number. Why didn’t she ask me for it? He would not mind if I gave it to her. The answer is very simple. It was easier to get me to do her bidding whenever she wanted. I responded with, “Hang up, I will text it to you.”. It was that morning that the nails in her coffin began. Slowly but surely, her bullshit was being thrown out with the trash.
Weight began dropping off me. It was a very difficult process but attention was being showered upon me like rain. I started dressing differently and wearing make up. There was an intention with my outfits: I feel good. Everyone took notice and shared their enthusiasm with the exception of one person. There was the off colored comment to my brother which visibly upset me to the point that I left her alone in the room.
We would hang out almost every night in a restaurant somewhere. We would eat expensive food and do so late at night. The summer brought about pilates in the morning and bellydancing at night. That interrupted our lifestyle. New people entered my entourage and they showed me new things that capture my interest. The invites to drum circles began to come in. Womens’ Festivals and henna were placed on my schedule. Water and healthy cooking became a part of my days. Someone took notice and held her jealousy like a backed up colon holds shit.
My days as a wallflower were over. I was no longer the friend that was preparing her for her dates or picking her up for yet another food run. Other people requested my presence for healthier forays and positive input. She would always talk about her lackluster life and how she wished she could change it. The power was hers all along but she simply wanted to stay put. Complacent. The problem was that I was no longer around to hear it and had flown away without her. Apparently, that was not a welcome change for my so called best friend of eight years.
Betrayal soon followed and I sent her packing. Her jealousy was evident to everyone except for me. This was ten years ago and I can still tell you the entire story word for word. Her negativity taught me a lot. It made me understand the nature of a broken woman. Control and victimization go hand in hand. You can’t be friends with someone that is not happy to see you happy. You can’t be friends with someone that screams in the middle of a parking lot, “I just want the old Crystal back…”.
This life was not meant for me to have a best friend. While it is a staple in most lives, it does not exist for me. I have a small circle of friends that rotate to keep me enthused. This is the way my life is on yet another regular day.

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