TEL: The new Catch All

The world is comprised of different languages and dialects. There are subcultures within larger cultures. There is a label to clearly define everything so that people can easily handle that which may otherwise elude them. None of this prepared me to hear the new word: tel. Thot had escaped me and on fleek is still somewhat of a mystery; however, tel simply made me unravel.
A friend was telling me how she was the subject of a romantic proposition. She had recently given her number to a vague individual whom engaged her in conversation for approximately two days. The beginning of the end was when the question arose, “If I get us a tel, can we have sex?”. Upon hearing the word tel, mass confusion set in. What was the meaning of tel? It was not short for telephone and people do not refer to the bank teller as much anymore. Tel-Aviv did not make any sense for the conversation. Apparently, tel is short for hotel. All of this is taking place within standard English. How is this possible? It isn’t even a decent lol or btw. It is simply tel. Would this be indicative of the length of time that the encounter would take? The word hotel is no longer acceptable. It must be shortened to tel. Needless to say, the relationship did not blossom.
Tel is now used in reference to everything. I have not heard from you. You must be tel. You met someone new, did you tel?
I am hungry. I must go tel. It is a curious wonder for us playing with this ridiculous abbreviation.

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