The Taxation of the Mind

The Taxation of the Mind
This week has had it all. Grief, complaints, hunger, headaches, vaginal questions, low budgets and the ever popular favorite, the contemplation of life.
There I sat on a Sunday afternoon in shock over a man that I barely knew.
By Tuesday morning, the recurring conversations about the tragedy had taken hold and my threshold was met; I couldn’t take it anymore. Conversations were silenced. The radio was turned off. Social media was removed. It was just me and a bed looking for sleep while praying for peace.
Have you ever just stared at your desk wondering what in the hell am I doing? In walks Wednesday in all of her glory. Yet another presentation ahead to be prepared to impress my one my only, my boss. Le sigh. Why I even managed to sketch the outline for my personal year. Goals are everything when you can touch them in bold color.
Thursday with her maddening effect and grueling grind brought me to the doorstep of Dunkin Donuts begging for caffeine/fuel on a Friday morning. Here I lay. My meanderings a mere memory from yesterday as I try to grasp the direction of my life.
Is the direction right? Can I be more? Will the NFL give me money? Yes and hell to the no. None of this stops the earth from moving around the sun. The seconds are still going tick tock on the clock. My life is still my own to live as I see fit. What I see, is a protection of self and glasses of wine….a bottle.”

A Gentle Reminder

A Gentle Reminder

Last year was all about stripping away all of the fat and fluff, to get to the heart of the matter: me, myself, and I. It was a massive analysis of each life department and how to maintain it. It will take the remainder of my years to truly complete such a task. However, on Friday, a gentle reminder ensued.
When you make a woman smile, the world changes. Others benefit from her glow and the heaviness of the earth lifts ever so slightly. I made two videos of picture complications of friends and their work. I sent it to them. The emotions that followed were unreal. Confidence levels increased and they saw themselves as I see them: talented fierce individuals that are here to combat the patriarchy with their respective purposes.
We are living in a time when sexual harassment is being busted wide open. Men are finally learning the hard way that they can not exploit women for their own pleasure without paying a dire price for it. Women are entering politics in record numbers and holding key positions. STEAM is all the rage and little girls are aspiring to become airplane pilots instead of a flight attendant. The world truly is our oyster as the manly norms are slowly being chipped away.
It is important to remember that while all of this is taking place, we have to continue to adjust our crowns. Every day is not filled with roses and chocolates and when it is, we get fat. Many days are about the grind. Meet the deadline. Execute the flawless presentation. Get both clients in before the conference. This is why the word balance is so very popular. You can not be busy all of the time and you have to rest without feeling unproductive. Napping is my favorite hobby.

Hell is Slowly Rising

Sunday

The New Year celebrations have ended. Everyone is staring at the scale and wondering if the gym membership is actually a thing. Beds are warm and coffee is hot. Monday will start a new work week in a new year. Hell is slowly rising to a steady boil.
The anxiety of leaving the wonderful break and returning to the hustle and bustle of the 9-5 leave me in complete and utter despair. The last two weeks have brought me a great balance of freelancing and rest. Napping became my sole pursuit and leaving the house was extremely unnecessary. The thought of leaving this behind is dreadful.
I’ve never been a resolutions individual. There may not even be goals written down somewhere. However, there are ideas that I am developing as I am truly a constant work in progress. Is there something that I want? Always. Are there things to be done? Until the end of time. Am I putting forth a minute by minute concentrated effort on one thing?
These days life happens one day at a time. The larger picture relies on the building blocks of the smaller days. This is not the time to grab it by the horns and ride like a cowgirl. The sound of the water is so peaceful and it should wash over me vs splashing around making waves. The day will come when I have to dig my feet into the ground. For now…..silence embraces me.