Sunday Settlement 10/20/19

We often perceive rejection as a hard slap in the face. Once again reality has dealt a fatal blow from which we can never recover. Oh, the horrid pain. No medicine on earth can relieve me of this sorrow. I am simply a bleeding heart of crimson blood. Boo, it’s not that serious…
When someone breaks up with you, it may hurt unlike anything else on the planet. The truth of the matter is that a blessing has been handed to you. Do you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you? This is your opportunity to spend time and energy on yourself. Your healing now takes priority over anything or anyone. The focus is all about you and not a relationship.
The job offer never came. The promotion went to someone else. Have you considered all of your options? Are you in the right career for your life purpose? Do you really want to be embedded in a company that doesn’t value your presence? Is this your opportunity to bounce into your own LLC? Take some time to ponder what is best for you. The rejection has opened the door for you.
As the week begins for the wrapping up of the spooky time, there will surely be some minor disappointment awaiting us all. The traffic was ten minutes longer than expected. The menstrual cycle shows up sooner than expected. Your cup of coffee was a cup of a hot mess. Take the cues from the universe. There may have been a situation that you were being blocked from at work by coming in ten minutes later. Your cycle showed up now because a surprise visitor graced you one night when the cycle ended. That coffee dehydrates you and water is a better option.
Understand these inconveniences as the conversation of the universe. It does not always use words. It uses variables that are present in your life to communicate with you. If you stop to listen, you will hear them all of the time. Stay balanced ladies. I ♥️ you.

Rejection: Two Way Street

I can’t give you what you want. You should meet someone else. My response was in agreement with the instructions, and my life continued happily. Approximately nine months later, the same individual asked me for a sexual encounter. When I did not respond with bells on, the insane antics began. Furious text messages began at 8am. An offer for a date ensued. My state of shock was translated with no text back. Two days later, an early morning text informed me that I was receiving a visit later on that day. A shower would be taken first and then I would be greeted with company. Two screenshots were sent to my friends because I was now scared for my safety. Later that day, my presence was elsewhere as planned. There was complete and utter shock because I was not at home awaiting an unwanted visitor with my legs agape. Remember, I was the one that was rejected. This is what ensued.
My former girlfriend informed me that she was moving out of my home. It felt as if a bullet was going through my body. Despite the pain, I stood up and exclaimed that I thought it was a brilliant idea. It was not a full ten minutes before she broke into tears begging to work things out. A look of sheer disgust appeared on my face. I helped her move out and told her to never contact me again in life…for anything.
The last foray into the land of romance completely confused the entire hell out of me. She never had time for me. She would ghost me when we had plans. There was never a moment when we could just be together. She left me. It is almost a year later and she is still trying to contact in spite of the numbers that I have blocked. She claims that she misses me. She wants to talk. By now you have seen the trend.
What is the phenomena with being pushed all the way out of a life, only to be pursued relentlessly. When I am told that my presence is no longer needed, that is exactly how I take it. It is my responsibility to accept the rejection for the blessing that it is. It is time for me to heal and take time for myself so that I can deal with getting over whatever the relationship was and at some point try once more. Why on earth would I try to convince another party to stay with me? A decision has been made without any consultation or consideration for me. You made this decision in your best interest. Why the pursuit? Why should I now honor your feelings of loneliness or demands for contact?
Flowers, cards, teddy bears…all of them were left on my porch. A video hit my cell phone. Calls from a friend of hers kept coming in. Block and block. It seems as if rejection is hard to take from the very people that dole it out. This is something that is difficult to understand. Perhaps one day I will meet someone that is mentally stable enough to handle their own emotions. Finding a mate that is clear about what she wants has proven impossible. Have I given up hope? Well, let’s say for now that my focus is on other things…..

Music Meets Reiki in Miramar

The room was filled with people eagerly awaiting energy work. They were quiet and attentive. As the Reiki healers got into formation, I began to arpeggiate. My music would serve as the soundtrack for a Reiki Circle.
One by one the songs engulfed me. The line between the notes and myself was no more. Between improvisations and familiar tunes, self expression was taken to a new level. Dynamic markings became instructions from God as I made certain that piano was quiet and forte was loud. It felt as if my entire life was on point if only for a mere sixty minutes. There was no fear. Anxiety did not exist. The only thing that was present was the music as it accompanied the gentle healing energy that dominated the room.
Tears were shed. Testimonies were given. People were overcome by the divine experience. Exclamations of the best Reiki circle ever were shared. All I could do was smile. I did something important yesterday. I shared a piece of myself during a critical moment. They came looking for a safe space for healing. That is exactly what they received. For this uplifting experience, I am grateful.

Tuesday Twinge

Tuesday Twinge
It was something just for me. An hour all to myself. I did not have to share. I did not have to be in charge. I was free to react in any manner that I felt was appropriate. My time was all about what I needed as an individual. It felt awesome.
Such a time to honor yourself often gets lost in the daily hustle of life. The almighty dollar dictates the agendas of others and can easily push you and your needs to the side. At some point, you have to put down the phone.
There has to be a moment when you are disconnected from everyone and everything. There must be time to relish in the simple fact that you are a person all on your own. No degrees behind you. No last name. No label. No restraints. Just you and yourself. That is enough.

Saturday Reflection

Once I released the green shirt, the universe conspired to confirm my focus going forward. A high end bridal bazaar landed in my lap out of nowhere. I adorned my person in bespoke white and settled upon the blue floral wall.
The band came to say hello and exchange IG names. Planners inquired about my services. Brides recorded videos and another bridal show was suggested. I lay in bed content and sore. The full feeling of being aligned with my purpose and sore from the yoga sessions that I am able to do again; being in control of your schedule is everything in life.

My Moment: The Realization

My Moment: The Realization

While eating my Jamaican patties, I stared at my harp. I realized what was important to me. My life shall now be organized accordingly. Silence served as the soundtrack as immediate decisions were made. I remembered who I am.
You may have a lot going on in your life. Trials and tribulations are ongoing for most of you. There may be parts of yourself that are being neglected just so you can get through the daily grind. What is the purpose of your hustle? The sole focus, the intention behind your drive? That is what you have to honor.
Forget the money. You will always have to pay to live somewhere and food has to appear on the table. Why are you doing what you do? This is where ordering your steps comes into play. Everything else will follow. Fall into your foundation and build a castle based on what is most important to you.

(Wed.10.9.19)

Exhaustion: Coming From the Brink

The better part of Friday saw me in bed. The wedding took a little longer than expected and there was the pick up of Icy Hot & Tylenol PM. Unfortunately, I only managed to put on half a patch and before falling asleep. Because the Tylenol PM never made it into my system, Saturday greeted me with pain and sheer exhaustion. I only left the house for Oxtails in gravy. However, the night had me determined to get back on my feet. Icy Hot patches were cut in two and placed on Sciatic pain spots. Two pills were eagerly swallowed as I envisioned myself in a deep slumber. Sleep cello music was set on the ITOUCH. When I woke up, I knew that I could rejoin the land of the living.
Things will be done differently this week. Volunteering in spite of my happiness is leaving. Extra appointments have been canceled. Down time and rest time will both be written in pen. Yoga has been reintroduced to my routine and more water will be added. My diet must also be reanalyzed because it is not helping matters. Stress and sugar do not mix.

Saturday Singe

Saturday Singe
When you recognize that you can’t anymore, stop what you are doing. There are many goals that will be reached in life. However, the ultimate one is your personal happiness.
Every day will not be filled with roses. There will be moments when you wonder how you are still here in one piece. Tears, shakes, and outright sobbing all round out this journey called life. You can experience it all with one exception: don’t give up on yourself.
Change gears. Make a phone call. Schedule sheer silliness. Delete FB and cancel that last appointment. Whatever it takes to achieve what you know to be sanity, that is the route that has chosen you. Walk it with pride.