At some point you take the lessons that you have learned and build a foundation. Once it solidifies, you have room to blossom and expand.
I think that it is time that you understand how I feel about you. I have tried to keep the peace by purchasing different types of products to accommodate your various moods. You care nothing about my precious underwear or my life. You bleed for unreasonable lengths of time and cause bottles of Alleve to simply appear. Friends have begun delivering hot fudge sundaes to appease my ridiculous cravings.
There have been medical interventions since the day you arrived; the ultrasounds! I have tried to embrace you by wearing red bracelets to honor your presence. The fact of the matter is that I hate it when you are here and love it when you are gone. You interrupt my life as I know it. Sex is put on hold. Let me repeat that to you. Sex is put on hold. Suddenly, I am in pain and experience strong emotional upheavals. Lest we forget the trauma that you caused earlier this year. I was screaming first thing in the morning and crying prior to noon. My body spent the remainder of the day putting a hot air balloon to shame as I lay helpless on the bathroom floor.
I wore all black to work today. It was the perfect color. At approximately 10:45am, you decided to allow entire gallons of blood to gush forth like a flash flood. All of a sudden, my body felt flushed with heat. I thought that I was going to break into a sweat. As I reached for my chair, I quickly sat down so that the crimson waves could hopefully subside without anyone hearing sounds.
I do not want children yet there are stretch marks on my body. I am proud to be a woman and plan to reincarnate as this gender forever. Why on God’s green earth do I have to experience this “gift” every single month of my natural life is beyond my understanding. Why do women cry when they no longer get their period? I personally plan to have a party and invite all of my friends.
Perhaps in the future, you could be more understanding of the havoc that you cause. I will also be sending you a list of the type of underwear that I like from Victoria’s Secret. You owe me.
It was in this lifetime that I discovered the beat of the drum. No one else followed this particular beat and so….I danced with it.
The lively Facebook conversation led us to meet in real life. He was eager to talk and be social. We drove around North Miami in search of nourishment. His conversations insinuated that he would be interested in being more than a friend. His accent sounded British, and he had a rather feminine quality. After being simply famished, Taco Bell looked rather appetizing. Please remember that this is being written in retrospect.
The statement of friend vs. lover arose. This left a question mark in my mind. There are certain things that a man will do if he is trying to get to know a woman. He had not made any of those strides as evident by my dinner bill. Upon the stroke of midnight, I dropped him off at a bar at his request. Yet another question mark arose in my head….a man that wants to go to a bar at midnight?
He had agreed to perform his poetry at my fundraiser for Haiti. The earthquake left me in a state of sorrow for the beautiful people and this was my way of giving back; I presented artists of all genres to the community: bellydancers, poets, piano, vocal, musical theater…it was a show of shows. I went to pick him up hours ahead of the performance time. He voiced his displeasure with this. I explained that as the producer of this show it was important for me to be on the site to make sure that everything was in order; a problem had already been relayed to me.
Upon entering his place, his face went aghast at the sight of my outfit. He changed twice and was still unsatisfied. He told me to go and that he would catch the bus. After thirty minutes of the show being in full swing, he texted me to say that he would not be able to make it with an apology. What was my problem with this? He knew that he wasn’t coming when I left his place.
That pesky question mark appeared in my head again. This is someone that has a possible romantic interest in me? This certainly was not his best foot. I saw no need to keep in contact with someone that was so unclear about himself. Shortly after that, I noticed that we were no longer Facebook friends. Alas, there wasn’t a pesky question mark over this deletion.
It was a very interesting night for me. The gathering was for people that wanted to receive different types of readings, and I was one of the readers. As I wandered into my room, I created my setup on the acupuncture bed. Soft music filtered in through the ceiling which had to be turned off at some point because it began to interrupt me. My traveling reading creature comforts had accompanied me; candle, giant carnelian, angel cards.
Before people came looking for me, the fun loving priestess showed up with a smile. She inquired if we could exchange readings later. I thought that would be fun and said yes great enthusiasm. One by one they came searching for insights into their lives. The personalities were quite different from person to person and one can never know what will arise during such an exchange. There was one reading that stood out for me as it was my first group reading; it was also rather emotional for its focus.
Three men and one woman came in together. I announced that I would share the information that came through and that they could direct me to whom it applied. As soon as words left my mouth, the woman took note. We communicated through a translator but language was our sole barrier as my feelings began to reflect hers about her situation; I had physical reactions as the story as it unfolded. We experienced chills and goose bumps. I soon found myself telling the translator to inform her that I was rather uncomfortable talking about it because she was so uncomfortable with her predicament. My heart went out to her. For whatever reason, one word popped in my head and I said it with absolute conviction. It struck a chord with her as the tears and explanations began to flow. As the people stared at me in amazement, I shared in the astonishment. They were happy that they came and so was I.
As the night came to an end, the shortbread cookies called my name with the mint tea. The fun loving priestess appeared and we vanished to do our readings. She read me first so that I could breathe. She said that my current relationship has changed me for the better as it is a very healing experience for me. She commented on the beauty of my aura. All of her statements were excellent points of references for me. My turn came. My dark red scarf soon took its place on my head. The visions appeared and the words flew. She was quite pleased with what I had to say. We exchanged cards and agreed to read each other again in the near future.
When my body completely passed out in bed, the night replayed itself in my head. The new experiences made me smile and feel whole. As the dreams began, I wondered how I would use them as a platform to move forward into mediumship.
Celestial Readings by Crystal
We had seen a each other a few times. It was not anything that was going to change life but just time spent with another human being. The term boyfriend came up during a phone conversation one evening. He had a fit. I was quickly told that this was not a serious relationship and that he did not want there to be any misunderstandings. His words struck a chord with me and sent my mind into a deep pensive state.
I was very aware of the fact that this was not a serious relationship; however, the swiftness in which it was relayed to me was startling. The time that we did spend together was always cut short by a party that suddenly interrupted my Friday night. I was under the impression that Friday evenings were spent in social arenas. If you were seeing someone, the two of you entered such arenas together. That was not the case. Imagine planning to spend an evening with someone. You arrive. Perhaps a meal is shared. You settle in for the evening…only to hear, “I am going to a party tonight. What are you doing?”
Instead of investing any more time with such endeavors, I chose to inform this individual that since we were not girlfriend and boyfriend, perhaps we should act more like friends. My visits stopped. The calls vanished. Any form of communication on my part evaporated as I looked into other avenues of social developed along the lines of dating. It was not too long after this that strange phone calls in the middle of the night began.
It was late one Friday night. My phone rang with an unrecognizable number. I answered only to hear, “Do you miss me?”. My response indicated that I did not know whom was speaking. He seemed a bit confused that my expression did not even recognize his existence. Another few weeks went by. The phone rang again. “I just returned from a cruise to the Bahamas. I do not know why I kept thinking about you.” Hmmm……why didn’t you think about me prior to going on the cruise?
This is how people without an aim in life can deter your desires. I wanted a boyfriend but this individual wanted a friend that happened to be a woman. Once this was clear to me I moved on. Unfortunately for him, he still clinged to the notion that the illusion in his head was all I could possibly want. He soon impregnated another woman and married her. I am happy that it was not me.
It was an opportunity for me to spread the circle to another location. I was ecstatic about this new place for me to gather women. Unfortunately, as I spoke to the secondary business owner, it was clear that she had already decided that my mission was not aligned with her mission before I even opened my mouth. As I returned my laptop to its bag, she voiced a hope of seeing me again. I informed her that my appointment for a Tibetan Palm Healing was the next day in her shop.
The car ride home was filled with utter disappointment as my heart dropped to my feet.
There are any number of reasons why things do not go as hoped when dealing with the game called life. I thought that there was an individual with whom I would marry and bear children. Luckily for me, that did not work out. There is an entire world of self discovery that I would have missed had that path gone as scheduled not to mention the decline of that relationship. My present self would not have been happy with that stagnant energy of a person. It was always an assumption that my job would fulfill me forever which led me to a graduate degree to further educate myself for my profession; the solution to that formula is career transition. Now, here is another slice of disappointment.
My mind wonders through the silver lining of it all. There are no attachments to this part of town now. I am free to come and go as the gypsy that I am. There are other places where I could make my presence felt. The bottom line for me is that I can no longer be in a position where other people make decisions that affect what I do in any aspect of my life.
It was necessary for me to break free from my parents as a twenty something person just to have a say in the direction in the life that I was living. An unhappy best friend decided to make a decision about my life for me without even speaking to me about it which resulted in the end of our friendship. My current job has administration that dictates guidelines and regulations. It is apparent to me that I should push forward in making my dream of self employment a reality if for only one reason; I no longer wish to be told what to do.