There are so many posts about Memorial Day. It is a great day to reflect upon our own lives as well as those that have passed on. Lately, my spare time has been filled with non-stop fun which is good. All of us need fun to balance out the stressful work week. However, I would then reach my home and realize how empty it is. Where is my other half? How did I get to this point in my life where there is no one to tell about the wonderful things that have been materializing for me?
The life that I envision for myself is filled with days of helping women reach their full potential. Perhaps a stroll through Whole Foods to get the organic Thai noodles for lunch before an afternoon Pilates class. Downtime consists of meditation, swimming at the beach and lots of lounging. However, there should be someone to share in some of the activities. While being a champion of women being individuals, I may have missed that a personal support team enhances the quality of life. How do I get the life that I truly want? That balanced zone of zen and freedom? This question was asked silently before I sat down for an afternoon meditation session.
Answers came to me in brief segments and were quickly jotted down in my journal. I could sit here and type that a balanced life has a step by step guide, but it doesn’t exist. The guide must be written by the individual. Assistance is all around but the final pen to paper stroke is an independent endeavor. A choice is made when you want something. You will either put in the work that is required or remain safe in your comfort zone with an uncomfortable feeling.
Monday is the day when my roads are normally opened. They may be blocked, winding, or even messy but they are opened for me to make choices. After a rather pleasant weekend, my workday began with the new process of creating my face. It did not take as long as I had anticipated and soon, I was out the door en route to the job that I wish to change. Because of the paint that was applied to my face, I was a more effective person today. The amount of compliments that I received for my appearance was simply amazing. The positive energy lifted me into other dimensions that I recognized as former haunts. It was a good feeling for me.
The experiences that my body has been through since the car accident last July continue. Another doctor must be added to the list to address my nervous system with x-rays. Apparently, now my neck wishes to go through muscle spasms and remain tight as a rope without any regard for the efforts of my physical therapist. My exercise of choice has been elimanated from my routine for months now with no hope of it returning anytime soon. However, my former pilates torturemaster remained on my mind. I felt as if I needed something healing while my body goes through aging and adjusting to trauma. The medical background of the torturemaster combined with her knowledge of my body make for an excellent canditate to assist me with remaining bikini ready as all of this is thrown at me. However, it was not until my mother mentioned that she could help me that I finally called her. Alas, I wanted my dance strenous and harsh as it may be. Its not what is needed at this time. My first class was this evening, and it felt nice to sweat. The rest of this journey is tba as I am living it day by day.
The rain falls to the earth to replenish her green and nurture the oceans. The thunder rumbles and shakes my home as the candles flicker back and forth. My summer vacation is around the corner and there is much work to be done if I am going to truly meet the challenge of my career transition. My trusted advisors await my next move. It was necessary for me to stop doing everything at once. It was not accomplishing goals and work makes it impossible for me to focus on the new trials and tribulations of working for myself full time. The idea of answering to myself without the boring routine of nothing changing and ineffective leadership is quite attractive to me. It is my intent to bake this delicious cake and then, have a nice slice of it. Perhaps, I shall add a scoop of ice cream…..a glass of champagne would not hurt either.
The Scandal hysteria has been all over Facebook for a while now. Television doesn’t exist in my living space; however, in an effort to better understand the world around me and perhaps find some inspiration for my current lack of direction, I decided to watch a few episodes on the website. While I don’t quite see the need for the massive chaos as yet, there were some other things that I did observe.
Oliva Pope is the lead charcter played by a beautiful Kerry Washington. Her employees are her friends, the cell phone is her dictator, and those big eyes seem to mist whenever the topic of the president arises; A man with whom she engaged in an affair with. Everything about this powerful individual is geared by her determination to succeed in a cut throat industry. Where are her friends outside of the office? Will she be able to engage in a relationship with an individual that is actually available? There is so much more in the future for this woman, and I look forward to watching her develop. While watching her in action, I could not help but think about another beautiful woman that engaged in an affair and got more than what she bargained.
It was a few weeks ago when I drove to a local movie theater to watch Tyler Perry’s Temptation. It had been quite some time since I had watched a movie and was excited to have a nice bag of popcorn to keep me company. I immediately felt pulled into the story as I identified with many of the feelings that Judith experienced. In the end, she destroyed something good in the pursuit of something better and was left with nothing. Her husband divorced her and married another woman; the son was handsome. The man with whom she cheated beat her senseless and gave her AIDS. There was a lack of communication which ultimately assisted in her demise. The movie left me in a sobbing heaping mass as the raindrops plummeted my car like bullets.
Every woman that I know wants to be loved by another human being in a romantic way. Unfortunately, too many of my sisters settle for situations that are less than what they deserve. They pay money to fly across the country to be with a man that doesn’t want to be with them. They make excuses for the fact that he was busy with work for the last seven days in a row. All of this for the reward of saying that there is a creature with a penis in my life. Congratulations.
The president wanted to leave his office and his wife for Olivia. She told him no. She had to stay with her people. She didn’t want him to give up the presidency for her. I wonder what relationship she could have had if she had been with an available man. Judith had a loving husband that became comfortable and took her for granted. He did not know that she wanted to experience new things. He did not know that she wanted a knight in shining armor if only for one night. When she told him that he was not the spectacular man that she wanted, his tears of pain were real. She shared such information is such a cold manner;however, it was entirely too late. She was involved with another man long before she was in copulation with him. Her relationship began there. She did not have any friends either besides her frenemy in Kim Kardashian. That is another topic for another post.
Both of these women are classic examples of women that we know. They wanted something that they were unable to get from men. They had everything to offer on the table: talent, drive, beauty, intelligence….but did they truly understand what they wanted? Did they ever give themselves the opportunity to fully understand what it was that they truly wanted for themselves? I ask all of these questions based on ficitonal stories. Yes, that seems funny; however, these stories are not that far fetched from real life.