HARVEST MOON: THE CIRCLE

She emerged fearless. She glowed a bright yellow. Her knowledge dropped with expertise, experience, and a confidence that defies most people. She held the entire room for over an hour. All of the sisters were held in captivation. No one could move. No one could speak. Time stood still. Nothing else was more important than watching the Aquarian as she took center stage. Everything else fell by the wayside. It was a small gesture to her. However, as she made suggestions to the artists, the entire room listened and grew from her flowing impromptu presentation.

Through phone calls and text messages during my Saturday, I have learned that everyone felt the same thing: sheer awe. The Aquarian will be doing a workshop for us shortly because of her willingness to share, the beauty that she had while doing it, and her knowledge of her craft is above and beyond the norm.

The focus was on dreams. I presented the use of the amethyst and how one should track the symbology and patterns that appear in the sleeping mind. We made dream books and created suggestions on how such things could be manifested into reality. However, the strong connection that all of us felt to this little woman as she commanded the room with her awesome power was outstanding. We are lucky to have her in our midst….and to think, it was her first time.
She has made an impression on us all.

I have learned that I am to expect the unexpected. Each circle is vastly different with a few themes that remain constant. We enjoy the sisterhood and the opportunity to share with one another because of the growth. We are from different backgrounds and have different lives. We celebrate together because we are women living in the same world. It is my hope that our work will make this realm a better place for the women that are walking behind us. Happy Harvest Moon and charge those crystals.

THROAT CHAKRA: ROAR WHEN IT IS TIME

The idea that someone was trying to manipulate me into spending money so that he could get a comission after I said that I wasn’t interested truly bothered me to the core. I was already disturbed by the fact that he had put my coworker in the middle of this and questioned her about me. As of this morning, I decided that something else had to be done about this situation.

How did this individual get access to my phone number? Who gave it to him? Such information is suppossed to be private. The business tactics that have been used have been improper: ambush, badgering, harassment, and now manipulation. This situation stayed on my mind all weekend. When I realized that perhaps I was suffering in silence, an email was sent to my superior officer. I told her exactly what was happening to me and how I did not appreciate my confidential information being comprimised in this manner. Someone gave him my cell number without my permission. The mere act of me pressing send gave me such satisfaction because I had the balls to do more than handle this by myself. There have been clear violations here, and the end of the story should be in my hands. Not theirs.

Why another post? Simple. There are lessons to be shared here. I made mistakes that women are guilty of all of the time. Here is a list:

1.) Be direct as possible at all times. Being subtle is not appropriate for all situations.
2.) As soon as you distrust someone, take the necessary actions to protect yourself.
3.) There is a difference between being nice and being protective of yourself: spare no expense or face.

4.) Speak to others that can properly assist your situation. I can sit here and vent all I want but until I told my boss, what actions were truly taken to have proper intervention?

Salesmen are skilled in the art of manipulation and will stop at nothing to make a comission especially if business is poor. Why else would these two nuisances be wandering around my workplace ambushing people while they are distracted with their…JOBS. This man wants to push me into a corner so that I can cut him a check just so that he will leave me alone. Its not going to happen. If I have anything to say about it, and I do…..this will not happen to anyone else. Be strong my sisters. Never apologize for taking care of yourself and never feel the need to suffer by yourself in silence. There are people out there that have a genuine interest in you and will support you in ways that you never thought possible.

MY BRAND

It was two years ago when I realized that I had more to offer than what I was doing. I had always been under the impression that I had a side career as a musician that helped me with everything in life. It was a personality clash with a wedding coordinator that prompted me to make a statement. I did not study music my entire life to simply be the background music for a wedding. There is much more to the life of a musician. I had developed a talent for improvisation while on the job, and decided that it was high time that I did something with it. The result was my debut cd: “THE BEGINNING”. My world was suddenly filled with photo shoots, editing sessions, and composing. I funded the entire thing myself. It was something that made me proud of myself.

It was around this time that I began to see things differently. I realized that there were countless businesses that I supported: food, gas, dance, hair, nails, clothes, mailing supplies…it dawned on me that I used to have a company. Why, I even received a scholarship in college to attend a womens’ business center so that I could learn more about the world of business. Unfortunately, due to the hardships of life, it went by the wayside. Since it wasn’t my main source of income, there wasn’t a major issue because of its vanishing. Now, I realized that I wanted it back. I needed it so that I could refine my mission and go forward. It took a year before it was mine again. It felt great to see my business name once again.

Since then, I have taken business classes, massaged former clients, reached out to new ones, and have managed to acquire an assistant. Her efforts alone have helped me a great deal in attempting to streamline my life. I still maintain two jobs and try to live as much as possible. Such juggling can be quite difficult. Her presence is a present from the creator. She shall be front and center at my recital next month selling my tank tops that as well as my cds. There are plans for a second cd as well as artistic collaborations. Since 2010, I have composed and performed for dancers, poets, and artists. Why, I even wrote music for a theatrical production.

This is not to say that the road has been free of obstacles. There are some months when my phone does not ring for any engagements. Incoming checks do not always arrive on time. Contracts are cancelled due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control. I tire of people asking me to perform for free or for a reduced rate as if I do not have a mortgage that does not afford me such luxuries. Sometimes, I just want to take a nap instead of fighting traffic to be on time for an engagement. The flip side is that I have more of a say in what I am doing because I am in charge. That alone give me a feeling of satisfaction that I do not have during the day.

How long have I had to take directions from someone else or conform to something that no longer serves me? The day that I realized that I was stuck in the Matrix was a sad day. While I was asleep, life was fine. Once I realized that my situation no longer served me, my discomfort became unbearable. I am still making strides towards fixing my predicament; however, the road is hard and slow moving. It is not impossible. In my heart, I know the time will come for that complete break through moment which I desire so very much with all of my being.

It pleases me to be able to have resources at my fingertips that are able to provide me with assistance with just about everything in my life. I have begun to offer some of these resources as workshop presenters for Lady Speaks. A guest astrologer is with us during the month of October, and Raks Chakra is visiting as well. I have seen the need for mothers to understand more about how their children learn and a local educator that is currently finishing her studies as a doctoral candidate has agreed to do a workshop with this subject matter.

I wanted to share these sentiments with all of you this morning because of my realization. Anytime that I have had the courage or even the mere notion that a change was required and my foot had to be stomped on the ground in order to make it happen, I have seen progress and felt joy. Many of you have reached out to me about this insurance company that will not go away. The second mistake that I have made with them is that I have continued to entertain what they need to say after I have voiced that I am no longer interested. Why? I am afraid of being perceived as rude or a person that isn’t nice. Well, where has being nice gotten me in this situation? Let’s go back to my cd. I created that because of a situation that brought me to tears. I was able to take something that made me feel horrible and turn it into a beautiful situation for myself. The feedback that I have received from my music has been that of a standing ovation.

Now that I think about it, this is the day after the Fall Equinox. What better time to reflect upon regeneration, rebirth. Certain names come to mind: Kali, Oya, Demeter, Persephone. The seasons are in transition. The sun will not be as dominant anymore and will begin to give way to shorter evenings and cooler temperatures. The leaves will change colors and fall away from the trees. It is time to look into the other side of ourselves. Darkness does not mean evil. Our shadows are a part of us and do not exist without the light. What strengths lurk there that often go unnoticed?

Maybe you have something that you want to share with people or offer on a grander scale. You owe it to yourself to look into it. We as women spend so much time supporting everything and everyone else with little to no regard for ourselves. There is never going to be a good time for you to invest in yourself. You have to choose to make the time and guard it. There are people that get extremely jealous because they see others doing what they have not done for themselves. My response to that feeling is that you can not be upset for not seeing the results for the work that you choose not to do. Oh, its too hard. Life is hard but you are still living it…or existing, which one? You have only to see this desire in yourself and share it with the universe. Help will appear. You may not even recognize it when it does, but do not let that hinder your efforts. Find your resources and build your support group. TRY! Failure means that you made an attempt.

I was told to do a blog back in 2008, but never gave much thought to it. It took the words of a dear friend that had a heart to heart with me. She said that I only discuss certain things with certain people. Why not share that information with a larger audience with the correct platform? Go out there and find it because you can. Your voice is loud and strong. That was last summer. Now, here I am blogging away, creating circles, and sponsoring workshops. Women contact me with all sorts of situations, and I am more than happy to assist. Why, I even have a budding male following.

When the year started, I was getting ready to return to my day job and take a nap. Be your own inspiration and positive people and things will rally around you. This is not something that I have read. It is something that I am living. I am going to list my upcoming events with this post. They are also listed on the classes page. If any of them speak to you, please feel free to contact me for more information. Walk your truth and be your light.

Intro to Astrology Class $25/$30 Sunday, October 7 4-5pm
Autumn Recital Sunday, October 28 5:30pm www.ladyofharp.com
Raks Chakra coming soon…..
Multiple Intelligences (TBA)

Cigarette

As I took my walk before sunset, I saw a young woman lighting a cigarette at a bus stop. This scene brought many thoughts to my mind. How old were you when you began doing this, and is this something that you plan to continue doing? Do you know how toxic it is to your health? Do you care? You are so young.

My walk continued down the block as the cars rushed by no doubt hurrying to work. Where was that young woman headed with that cigarette while boarding a public bus. It made me think about her life, and the choices that she had to make. Something led her to inhaling harsh fumes into her lungs. How many of us smoke cigarettes?

It is not only an act of buying a pack and lighting up somewhere. Smoking cigarettes could also be repeatedly skipping those workout classes in favor of McDonalds. You paid for the yearly membership because you wanted to lose weight as a New Year’s resolution; however, it was not sincere and you went right back to Walgreens for a pack.

You have friends that you have been meaning to spend time with. That was six months ago. Now, life changes have arisen: marriage, children, that new house on the west side of the country. Did you even know that she had a boyfriend? Were you too caught up in your own life to see that your friend was happy and wished that you had been a part of it?

The guy that you have been seeing never remembers your birthday. When you do spend time with him, there is no affection. You barely have anything in common. Are you really going to continue inahling this cigarette or are you going to give that fresh mountain air a chance?

Old habits die hard. Patterns are difficult to break. Many people want band aids instead of getting to the root of the situation. I do not know that girl or her circumstances. However, that pesky habit is not healthy for her, and I can only imagine what internal damage is being caused because of her free choice to light another one. If there is only one cigarette in your box, take that one and work on it. Research the resources, ask for help, strive to be the best you possible.

You may not be a gym person and that is why you avoid going. However, there is a pilates studio down the street and you like the required attire. Why not try that? Karen called just last night to invite you to tea. Instead of texting no you can’t go because you are too tired, why not invite her to try that Pilates class with you and then the two of you can go to Whole Foods for dinner and a nice long girly chat? (working out does wonders for your energy levels). During dinner, she just may tell you that Alex just got back to town and was asking for you. The universe wants you to stop smoking too if only you give it a chance by acknowledging its signs.

CAUGHT OFF GUARD

It was the week before work was suppossed to resume. I was still dealing with the aftermath of my accident and now the reality of being stressed out again was quickly dawning on me. My cell phone rang. It was a man that knew my name. He requested a meeting with me at my workplace to discuss the deductions of my check and matters along the lines of 401ks. I didn’t make anything concrete as far as plans and decided to deal with it later. Later came.

I had just finished a four hour meeting and was quite aggravated by an insurance company that was bullying me in addition to a referral company that felt the need to contact me about them possibly making money off my misfortune. My assigned space wasn’t even available to talk to anyone and I had to move to my coworker’s room. I tried to avoid the meeting and finally succumbed. My cell bill was lowered. I didn’t fork over any information as far as bank accounts but did agree to listen to the full presentation at a later date. In the meantime, I had to meet a friend on the other side of town whom was awaiting me. The coming weeks began to change everything.

The first week back at work was surreal. Here I was again. I had taken my lavender plant to work and a plate of crystals to help ease my tense atmosphere. I was willing to try anything to stay positive about my somber predicament. Phone calls to my cell went unanswered as I would sink into oblivion from sheer exhaustion after work. The schedule finally got into full swing, and I realized that the full presentation at a later date was not in the cards for me. Especially since I was considering changes in my life. When my coworker called, the first red flag was thrown down.

She said that the 40lk guy wanted to talk to me about something important. I knew that he was standing next to her trying to get her to convince me to talk to him. The truth of the matter was that I was about to start yet another block on my schedule and there was no way that I was about to broach anything important with anyone. The next day, I explained the situation to her. She informed me that he wanted to know if I sounded sincere with my current happenings. The second flag was thrown down.

My mind started to wonder how these individuals got a hold of my number to begin with. My personal information is suppossed to be confidential. Furthermore, if your product is so great, why do you feel the need to ambush people at work when they have just finished dealing with everything and need a minute to breathe? I certainly do not need to discuss financial matters in such a wide open forum. Who is this man to question my co-worker on my life?

I realize that I do need to take responsibility for having a change of heart and not expressing that. However, I have taken the time to analyze the entire situation and wish to present it as a lesson for myself.

It is easy for me to know when there are going to be periods of time (for the most part) that are not great for me as far as functioning: menstral cycle, Mercury in Retrograde, certain times of the year at work. These are not times in my life when extra things should be on my plate or even presented to me. However, this has taught me that there needs to be a buffer around the times for those pesky things that will fall through the crevices and simply clog the plumbing system of my life. Under the circumstances which I was facing a month ago, there was no way that a financial decision should have been entertained. Furthermore, given the tactics that have been employed during this small ordeal, it is not in my best interest to be involved with this company. It would be wise of me to question anyone that wants to make it easy for me to part with my hard earned money. What is in it for them? Why are these men constantly showing up at the workplace trying to convince people to do this? I shrink away, off to my next appointment….

THE UNWANTED PHONE CALL
I took responsibility for the fact that I never voiced my change of heart. I contacted the proper associate and informed him of my decision not to move forward. Approximately ten minutes later, his supervisor calls to nicely manipulate me into another meeting. I said that such a gathering was impossible because I was dealing with issues. That wasn’t good enough. I politely interrupted and said that my hellatious day had led to neck pain that had now consumed my head once again and I couldn’t reach my doctor to resolve the issue; this conversation was something that I could not deal with right now. That still wasn’t good enough. What am I going to do next you ask me? Its simple.

The fact that someone else has to make a comission off the fact that I may write a check is not in the cards for me nor does it serve my purpose. The sooner that I release this situation and approach it differently, it may not bring as much annoyance to me. After all, I did get myself into this and it is left to me to get myself out of this. I shall contact my phone company shortly to block these numbers from contacting me in the future. The next step is to inform my boss that I am being harassed at work by people that somehow have access to the property. If approached physically, which I have been forewarned of, a firm no shall be executed.
These men have been trained in the art of manipulation as if they are doing me a favor because they truly want to help me. This is something that I shall remember when dealing with this in the future.

Mama Watta Has Returned

Monday, July 13, 2009 at 3:14pm ยท
I am home from Egypt. Prior to leaving, I knew that this was not going to be a vacation but more of an experience. I was able to realize a complete cultural immersion to its fullest extent for the past 2wks. My reality was completely different from what is my normal life. If given the chance, I can not say that I would repeat this experience as it was extremely taxing on me physically as well as mentally. However, it was an experience that has enriched my life. The excursion did bring about the anticipated inspiration that will fuel my upcoming projects. I would like to thank everyone for their words of support and love while I crossed off yet another task on my bucket list.

I am happy to be home.
Of course you know that my comments about a 2wk stay in Egypt were not going to be that short…..

THINGS THAT EGYPT TAUGHT ME
1.) A toilet is a wonderful invention.
2.) You do not know how important deodorant is until people around you do not have it.
3.) The United States needs to take a cue from other places and teach its children foreign languages as a way of life.

4.) A shower is a gift from God.
5.) The sun is what will wipe out the earth from existence.
6.) Donkeys are loud animals.
7.) Always have tissue with you…wherever you go.
8.) Music is my first love.
9.) Peace and quiet are of vital importance in my life.
10.) Never stop dreaming.

And now I can say, peace, love, and light….

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

Friday has finally come to my rescue and saved me from the hellatious routine of work. My slow weekend is pulling in like a gentle breeze. I look forward to some smooth jazz and wonderful company coupled with intense workouts. Something did cross my mind, and I decided to do some investigating.

It wasn’t too long ago that I began to study cycles hence my obsession with the moon. (The New Moon is upon us. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to set the intention for this new cycle. Plant your seed and watch it grow:) I learned how to create my 52 day life calendar which gives me insight into my own personal cycles in life. During this particular period, feeling restless is normal, and I am to avoid over thinking. Look at that. Isn’t that my week in a nutshell? Neck tension. Headaches. Appetite withdrawl. Lower tolerance for things that do not serve me including time eaters…..I have sent a record number of emails about problems this week. I am simply trying to protect my throat chakra and expect to receive the expert to present this shortly. I even encountered difficulty with meditation this week. Here are my proposed solutions for myself:

(1.) A slower pace leads to a slower mind. If I feel rushed, the root of the problem must be found and turned off. Going to bed earlier and waking up earlier can assist as well as by enforcing structure throughout the day.

(2.) I experimented with meditating prior to sunrise in bed. This truly put me in between both worlds. I was more awake in one than the other, and the magical music soothed the tension in my head. Because the ebb and flow of life constantly change, sometimes my meditation practice has to change as well in spite of my obsessive Piscean trends.

(3.) Working out is fantastic; however, it must be coupled with the appropriate time for you as well as with the appropriate type of workout. Some days, you may want to go for two long intense hours in the gym while other days will be perfect with a simple walk around the block with the dog. I went swimming on Sunday, but Thursday may find me rock climbing.

(4.) By Monday, I hope to replace my obscure cup of coffee with tea. The caffeine in my system isn’t good for me and interferes with the normal function of my body. I did miss the taste of it but that craving can be put on a leash now. I have had a whole week and was proud of myself for drinking more water to combat the drying effect that coffee has on your body.

(4.) While I do maintain a personal meditation practice, I also meditate with a group when the opportunity presents itself. I have even begun to “team” meditate which is something that I will present in the next circle. My current research with meditation has been translated into a project which shall be discussed at a later date.

(5.) I need to go to the beach more often. Time in the garden or a walk in the park are wonderful things to do; however, my main event is grouding myself in the waves and allowing the mother ocean to hug me with her loving energy. When I think about the fact that the ocean once covered the earth, I humble myself in knowing that she left some land alone so that we could have somewhere to live.

I have also had the good fortune to have the most wonderful sisters in the world. My morning began with one of my favorite people ever calling to check on me. The feeling that I get when a sister intentionally takes time out of her busy schedule to see how I am doing first thing in the morning is truly something special. This is a loving act that I hope everyone gets to be a part of. We are not islands but human beings that are connected to each other if we only take the time to feel that. Speaking of feeling….

Follow your feelings. Listen to them about your body. You know when something needs to be changed or if you need to be seen by a medical professional. Sometimes, you will get the distinct feeling that there is someone that appreciates your presence. Well, that is not your imagination. Pick up the phone and schedule tea because chances are very high that you enjoy that person’s presence also. When two people are able to work toward a common goal, the path has more light because of the combined energies. The resonation of that vibration can have a ripple effect and benefit many aspects of life. Two women laughing is better than one woman laughing. A happy woman can change the atmoshpere of society.

The hour is late, and my desire to have a refreshed feeling in the morning is paramount. Perhaps a spot of tea, light prayer, and a few deep breaths shall prepare me for the remainder of the night. The weekend brings thoughts of creativity and relaxation. I shall have both.

Remember your Resources

Frantic. Aggravated. Amazed. Traffic. Combat. Wine. Dark bitter chocolate. Coffee. Sleep.
These are the words that come to mind when I think about this day that I have had. I normally do not say much to the powers that be about the aggravations that I must endure under their leadership. However, it gets to a point where a Lady can only take so much before she has to put down her heel. The day has been filled with emails of misguided situations and poor judgement calls which have now landed in my lap without any resoruces or preparation. I am not blocking my throat chakra over this as I just recently got over almost being sick. It isn’t even October yet.

My coffee intake has resurfaced, and it tastes wonderful. I do not plan to stay in this caffeine phase for long, but while I am here, I shall enjoy it. It gives me the sustaining feeling of heat that I want. It is stronger than the tea, and the taste of the French Vanilla Cream is outstanding. Then the chocolate chip cookies manifested from thin air. Who knew.

I was able to make it to my workout which had its own side issues and balls being thrown. However, in spite of the pain in my neck and the fact that the traffic was awful, I had so much fun and felt my worries fade away if only for an hour. Now that I am back on the home front, the sink has been cleared and a short meditation has eased some of the clutter in my mind. It dawned on me that perhaps I had forgotten my resources as the day slowly built its chaos on me. It was when a wise woman reminded me that the beach exists for a reason. You would think that I would remember as I was just there on Sunday. Here it is…..

1.) I asked Archangel Raphael to ease the pain at the base of my neck. I am seeing the chiropractor three times this week, and it is still out of whack. The green light did engulf me, and tension was lessened.

2.) I once went on a text strike. It amazed people everywhere. I am addicted to my IPHONE in an unrelenting way. Its time to strike again if only for a day from all social networking.

3.) It seems as if everyone around me is traveling for pleasure. While I haven’t considered this as something to do this year, perhaps I need to change my mind.

4.) A musician friend alerted me to his performance on Saturday night. This would be the perfect opportunity for me to relax and engage myself on a creative level without being the source of it. It is important to be on both sides of the process…..and enjoy a nice glass of wine.

5.) When was the last time I simply soaked in a tub with bubbles and candle light? This is one of my favorite things to do and it has escaped me. Well, it is returning shortly.

6.) Holding a teddy bear can imitate pet therapy: it likes to be cuddled:)

7.) Workout and get that energy level to the proper place while easily letting go of the stress that is destroying the happy feelings that you naturally have.

I have also begun to go to bed thirty minutes earlier and have increased my water intake. I do plan to return to the beach shortly and next week Monday is completely blank as far as my schedule. Instead of filling it with things that must be done, I shall leave it blank and allow the universe to decide for me. After all, I treasure structure so that I can change it to my liking. Oh how the summer time schedule is missed. There was time, relaxation, and clarity of thought. Now, I have to fight for what is rightfully mine: sanity. Fret not. This is a challenge that I will win.

LISTEN

It began with a cup of coffee. Then two slices of chocolate lava cake slipped in. A supreme pizza appeared. The next thing I knew, it was time to taste wine; white and red. The coffee was a sign. I had given up coffee as a regular thing years ago and became a tea person. I would have a shot of it in my hot cocoa every now and again. However, when I found myself purchasing an entire bag to make it myself, I knew that something was going on. My body is talking to me, and I have to listen.

In my quest to eat healthier and cook more, it became quite hard to avoid preservatives, starch, and add more veggies. Yes, I know that its for my health but my goodness. It became quite daunting. The explosion of going to the extreme of bad stuff simply reminded me that I would have to go to the other side: eat the rainbow of veggies for a little while to balance the scales.
Here I am, drinking water and enjoying soup. I want to be on liquids for a while and perhaps experiment with shakes.

What is affecting me you may ask? If you have read my piece on career transitioning, you know that perhaps there is something out there just waiting for me to find it. Until then, my diet has gotten away from me. There is a plan in place to slowly reel it back in. My workout regimen is back to its normal 3-4days a week schedule, and the water intake has increased. I shall begin Omegas soon, and continue with my supplements including probiotics. Why, I may even go to bed thirty minutes earlier each day.

My taste for food has also changed. Instead of entire meals, I want soups and teas. Perhaps I am in need of a detox of just lighter food. It is to my benefit that I am able to heed the signs that my body is giving me and listen to it. I will no doubt wake up one day and request a full course meal. Until then, perhaps I shall nibble on some celery sticks and drink mint tea. Feel free to join me for a cup:)