After reflecting upon my Friday evening, I realized something. Everything made sense to me. I suddenly understood how to mingle and meet people. Clubs, bars, large parties, are all environments that make me feel unsafe. There are too many people doing things that can cause serious problems. However, a place that honors my gender while celebrating art is where I feel safe. There isn’t any fear in walking up to someone and saying hello or I enjoyed what you did. It simply does not exist. The fear of judgement or isolation is gone. Such a place can be created by me or sought out by me. It is in this manner that I shall now proceed.
A friend invited me over and showed me a food documentary. I already knew that soda was poison and do not consume it. What I did not know was the alarming amount of sugar that sits in tomato sauce is absolutely ridiculous. After dropping $100.00 in Publix last night, and not having a pleasure once again, my foot came crashing down on the ground. This morning, Publix refunded me $50.00 for the merchandise that I returned. $30.00 went towards my oil change, and I figured that the rest would be complimented by my debit card while shopping at the Farmer’s Market. Imagine my shock when the debit card was not necessary.
Upon entering, the place smelled like Whole Foods. It is a welcoming smell that I am unable to describe. My feet carried be down new aisles as my eyes became acquainted to my new surroundings. After a couple of laps, it was safe to bag some veggies and fruits. The store was small and there were not a lot of policies. The cashier was only aware of a two rules. She told me that meat could be purchased across the street at Aldi.
You have to pay for bags and the use of a cart. However, there was enough cash for me to cover my food and still have change. WHAT?! While my tomato sauce did not come out the way that I thought it would, the new taste of actual hot tomato sauce was a new experience for me. Is my tongue a virgin to tomato sauce without gallons of sugar? Apparently, it was. Instead of drinking fruit juice from Ocean Spray, I juiced the cheap oranges & grapefruits. It tasted fresh and had texture. My goodness, what has been going on all of this time? Convenience? From what, a busy schedule that does not actually encourage a life>
Something this simple deepens my questioning process. Why are we in a rush? What the hell is so damn important where we can not cook a meal from scratch? If the convenience equates to high medical bills, aren’t we defeating the purpose to begin with? This has been a most enlightening experience.
She reached out to him to attend a cultural function in support of the cast. This mysterious gesture came after a long period of him stringing her along after many protests from family and friends. He happily agreed to attend; however, he refused to drive the long distance. She would have to travel south to the MetroRail to pick him up so that everything could be at his convenience. In exchange for this kind gesture, he offered to take her to dinner. They ended up at a cafe for coffee and truffles.
The bill came after wonderful conversation and a nice leisurely dessert. He reached for the receipt which boasted a grand total of: $2.00. He strained for his wallet and quickly suggested that she take care of the tip which was $.75. After this infuriating exchange, she then drove south again to drop him off at the train station so that he could avoid driving such a distance to spend time with her.
A woman has to have enough self-respect not to allow herself to be treated in such a manner. Before you settle for something less than happiness, being alone is a valid option which is scary for many . This is due to the fact that they are unable to enjoy the richness of their own company. There is a lack of self discovery that has yet to manifest which is then placed on another party. If you are unable to make yourself happy, the responsibility should not be given to someone else with the expectation of being saved. You have to do your homework if you plan to pass the class.
Your morning routine serves as the foundation for your day. As you awake to a new beginning, there are many activities that you can partake in that can uplift you and get you started on the right foot. Affirmations, inspirational quotes, or even a song can activate that throat chakra and allow you to hear positive words from the jump. If you wish to remain in silence, you could read an inspirational quote or meditate for a little while. Because I do not love routine, I vary what I include: daily angelic guidance words, meditation, writing; it is often quite common to find me on the porch without shoes staring at the sky. Deep breathing can replenish you while improving your focus. Awakening without the use of an alarm is also a suggestion.
One friend mentioned to me that she doesn’t use her cell phone prior to noon unless there is an absolute emergency: no texting, phone calls, or Facebook. That disconnection from technology is so important when connecting with yourself. This gives you a greater say in how you interact with the demands of life before you are ready to go full blast.
Many people hear whispers or their name being called upon awakening. Angels and spirit guides are able to speak to us very easily at this time because we are not distracted by anything and the doubt factor is low. If you lay in bed for a little while, you may also realize that you had a dream. Keep a journal next to your bed to record any information that comes to you at this time. As the day goes on, it becomes difficult to recall such information which is a part of your divine guidance. Because I dream so much and found other women that are excellent at dream interpreations, I began a DreamWeaver Teleconference within the Circle of Sisterhood. Whenever one of us wants to discuss a dream, we schedule a time when everyone can talk on the phone. The feedback is quite informative and often gives the dreamer more than one perspective on what was happening.
The morning can be a sacred time which is often diminished because most people have to rush to work or get the kids to school. Even if you only have five minutes to dedicate to yourself, use those five minutes of gold to do something that will elevate you. Choose something that speaks to you and use it to your advantage. It can make a huge difference in the flow of your day:)
How does one cope with utter chaos and sheer lack of clarity? When the world all around you is filled with a severe lack of common sense and tales of ostrich woe? Some may say wine. While I do believe that wine has its rightful place in life, that is not the answer here; neither is chocolate. Focus.
Return to the backbone of yourself. Stand strong upon your foundation. Remember your own mind. Meditation.
The list of excuses for not slowing down runs the complete spectrum of color with my absolute favorite being, I do not have the time. If this is the case, then take the time that you do have and get creative. Do you have a commute to work that is long and boring? Have a relaxing thought then. Perhaps, after dinner you have a soak or a hot shower all to yourself. Close your eyes for a moment and allow your mind to go to another realm. Why, you can even take the time to wander as you read this very post. Excuses are self made obstacles that prevent you from accomplishing something that requires effort; they do not serve you. Cut them out of your diet like the fat from a nice juicy piece of oxtail that you ate with red beans and rice. No, I am not hungry. Moving on.
A person can not simply stand by and allow the pressures of life to win. Life was meant to be enjoyed. Happiness is the birthright of all. You need a minute. The ripping and the running the walking and the talking the haggling and the eating……take a second look at what you are doing. Why are you running? To catch the train. Hmmm….if you went to bed earlier, you wouldn’t run late for the train. When you talk to people, what is the tone of your voice? Do you sound fatigued or interested in your own words? Do you even know? Oh, you never even heard yourself. You did not use that sense of hearing to feel the quality of your voice, the timbre of the words, the caress of the insinuation of that expanded vocabulary.
When everything and everyone has complete access to you, there is a missing piece to the equation. There is not a single crumb left of the delicious vanilla cake for you to enjoy for yourself. You simply must partake in the fabulous dessert called you that everyone else wants to savor. Oh but my kids need this and I have to run this errand. True. However, do you know that if you should take sick in bed, those same people would have to find other ways of dealing with themselves while you heal.
Take a minute. Breathe. Listen to the music. Go to the beach. Smile at yourself. Schedule the vacation. Sleep in. Take that moment to gain that clarity. It is a small step such as this that will begin to change you. Why, this is how wild fires begin. Imagine what would happen if such flames burned all over the world. The regeneration would be a powerful start of an amazing calm. Yes, I just meditated and the music is still playing…….
As my performance came to an end, I thought about how I was going to ask my mother to find a nice black scarf for my collection so that I could wear it while I am working. It was also a pressing need to contact the bank about the fraud text that was sent to my phone. Upon approaching my car, there were pieces of shattered glass everywhere. My car had been broken into and the beautiful bag that had been mine for less than a month was gone with all of my identification and cards inside. My brand new drivers’ license with a fabulous picture….gone.
Panic did not overcome me. I calmly dialed 911 and asked for assistance. While a police officer attended to my predicament, I was able to cancel all of my cards and the fraudulent activity had already been detected; some cards were blocked before I called. I was able to hand over locations of purchases to the police officer; phone apps rock! I found myself smiling at people and thanking them profusely during my unpleasant moment. No tears. I felt joy.
The problem of getting cash for gas was now an immediate concern as the light was about to flash. My emergency contact was out of reach. I decided to drive to my family home which was about thirty minutes away. Do you know that my gas light never came on? The rain also stopped. As I explained what happened to my father and brother, action immediately began. My brother made arrangements for the window to be fixed. He took the car himself to a gas station and filled it up. He gave me cash and asked if it was enough to tide me over until my new cards arrived. He handled the entire thing. It was clear to me that this situation may have happened to show me that there is a man in my life that is there for me besides my father; my brother. He went so far as to tell me how to conduct myself until the window could be repaired. A heartfelt thanks does not begin to express my sentiment about what he did for me this evening.
My bowl of oxtails sits beside my computer as I type away my thoughts this evening. My spirituality kept me in one pleasant piece this evening. There was no shock. No panic. No tears to signal the arrival of a nervous breakdown. There was clarity, smooth thinking, and thoughts of an immediate plan of action. My home has a garage where the car will stay until it is fixed. Its the rainy season but there is nothing for me to do tomorrow. My schedule book and ITOUCH were not in the bag much to my delight. The bag probably can’t be replaced but, I found a black scarf in my mother’s room which resembles exactly what I was going to ask her to find for me. Isn’t that amazing? Look at all of the wonderful things that went right for me. I am happy that I am in a place where I am able to appreciate the good things and understand why feeling this way is important. Why should my Saturday night be ruined when my evening wasn’t the best?
If you will pardon me now, there is a wine cooler with my name on it and maybe, a slice of cake as well.
Before the meditation closed, the organizer mentioned his ponderings of love. He tried to understand what love truly was. The only thing that he could conclude was that love was bread to be shared in the outside world. He charged us with taking it and sharing it with others. This concept stayed on my mind as I drove home filled with inspiration and ideas. This will no doubt appear for me as a workshop.
Many of my sisters are more than capable of loving the entire world; however, when it comes to loving themselves, they fall short. Visions that go unrealized. Goals that are never set. Dreams that are never chased. Desires that are never expressed. These actions lead to blocked chakras and unhappy lives. Some women become withdrawn while others develop an inexplicable anger. Jealousy and envy also run amuck. The woman is suppossed to put herself first.
Oh, but my children. Oh, but my husband needs me. My friends depend on me to be there for them. People that love you on a serious level want to see you flourish becomes it brings them a great deal of happiness. You are of no use to your children if you do not take yourself to the doctor and get checked out when you need to do so. If you do not exercise to maintain your energy levels, how will you please yourself what say your husband once the two of you have an intimate encounter? You do not always have to be the one to volunteer to cook for the outings. Potluck can delegate the wealth and variety of food.
One way that I get to love myself is by investing in my sisters. I share in their triumphs because I see myself in many of them and so it is a personal success for me as well. It is in service to them that I am able to realize my own dreams and thus attain a status of self realization and effectiveness. There are others. Perhaps I shall share them in a different vehicle…..go now. Find ways to love yourself. The test will come soon. Inshallah.
FEAR: GET OVER IT.
The person knows the situation. The person knows what has to be done to solve the problem in order to achieve success. However, because of fear, the person chooses to remain locked away. Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemy. What wonderful experiences are we missing in life because we are too afraid to take the necessary steps to get what we want? This in turn begins to anger some because they see others doing the work that they fear undertaking themselves hence the root of resentment and envy. You know it as jealousy.
I overheard this advice being given yesterday. You have a fear? Get over it. I also heard advice that the Dalai Lama gave to an individual: keep it simple. If I put the two of these things together, I get a new equation. Fear is simple to deal with: GET OVER IT! Yes, I realize that it is easier said then done. We are human an everyone has some fear and or insecurity that they carry around like a torch.
My plan of action includes the following….
1.) Surround yourself with people that will not enable your excuses for not doing what your intuition is telling you to do. There are some people in this world that will not take anything less than the best from everyone including their friends. This may be called an accountability partner.
2.) Devise a simple plan and stick to it. Go with the flow when obstacles appear and handle it.
3.) Remember the fear is not yours to have. Give it to the higher power that you recognize and allow that energy to deal with it.
4.) Always remember that you are in charge of your own happiness. No one else is going to do the work that is required to make you smile because they should be too busy trying to do the same thing for themselves.
5.) Affirmations as you awake can work wonders.
Do not waste another moment thinking about what you should do. You already know. Put yourself out there….wear heels if you want….
I used to fear what people would think about me if they knew about my spiritual practices. It was a secret amongst a certain set of people. I would share my thoughts on the ways of the past and how women flourished prior to society progressing into the New World. It wasn’t until a dear friend pulled me to the side and told me that I should find a platform to amplify my voice as many women would welcome the sound of it. Why should it be kept to a precious few?
Here it is six months later, and I am producing events and gathering women for empowering experiences, spiritual enligtenment, emotional conenctions, and outright fun. This has been the most important thing that I have done this year. My fear of being isolated for what I hold dear has been embraced by many. Encouragement and support have inspired me to continue the work that is closest to my heart. Releasing this has allowed me to help others which makes me extremely happy. I look forward to 2013 and all it has to offer.
The compliments have been rolling in over the last week or two about my weight loss. I do not have an explanation for it as my workout schedule has been quite light; however, I have been preparing three meals daily for about two months now and try to watch what I eat. Apparently, its working. Ever since the Pilates leaned me out in 2009, I was always afraid that I would blow back up without a torturemaster being over me every two seconds. Fortunately for me, I have found a formula that works for my body; nutrition and fitness truly do go hand in hand.
The surroundings in which I are a consideration as well. I eat in silence or listen to very light music so as not to disturb my digestion process. Pausing over the food prior to consumption ensure that the proper energy is being taken in. Each morsel is tasted and relished prior to being swallowed. I have also been told that I like to arrange the food a certain way on my plate so that I can happily partake in my meal which often lasts a minimun of thirty minutes.
Ginger and mint teas are kept on hand to aid in the digestion process and probiotics are always in effect to help my flora and fauna. I stretch more often in the course of a week. When it is time to workout, it is a requirement for my body to sweat so that calories can be burned. This healthy version of me is quite different from the me of about four years ago.
I would eat anything from anywhere: fast food, large portions, coffee with fattening syrups, and late meals and snacks were a regular part of my days. Candy and desserts were my best friends. They were to me what minutes are to an hour; constant companions. In retrospect, I did not know how unhealthy my eating was. Why, I even treat myself to organic meals after working out these days. Change can bring about the most wonderful aspect in a woman’s life.