What are your New Year Resolutions? What do you want to accomplish in 2017? None of it interests me. I do not make resolutions. I have been known to list goals, create webs, and even do an occasional vision board for this time of year; however, this year, time finds me standing still. I converse with a select few and mostly keep to myself. 2016 is an honest blur to me. As with any year, there have been highs and lows. This has not been a memory keeper or a deal breaker. It was just another year in my life.
The upcoming year marks my 40th life cycle renewal. I have been thinking about how I would like to celebrate it. In truth, I want to wake up next to the ocean. Beachside hotels are being researched as we speak. Other than that, 2017 will arrive without much fuss for me. By midnight on the famous eve, I will be asleep. Clubs have never been an option for me, and my body dictates a very strict clock to deal with or else there is hell to pay. Perhaps a glass of red wine for merriment.
Nothing in particular stands out for me this year. Relationships have started. Others yet have ended. A new day brought a new sun while the moon remains eternal. A new president has been ushered in if only to flare the undercurrent that never left. Thanksgiving is this coming Thursday, and my place is quiet. There is not much to report on my front. Still hopeful. Still standing on faith…but sometimes, a new page is required to continue the story.
There are many things that I believe in. Some of these things receive my unwavering loyalty and the strongest passion known to the human race. Facial hair is not one of them.
It spoke with a deep bass voice. As the world turned, it descended into a violent tremolo. People fell from grace as it continued its painful crescendo. An occasional pizzicato lightened our load. It approached its whole note with a furious bow. There wasn’t a happy medium in sight. Simply piano to sfz. A triple forte was a mere suggestion. The fine brought the cello to its ultimate C. People exhaled and shoulders finally relaxed. The pain was finally released.
Not all beverages are created equal. Water. Hot tea. Organic juice. These three beverages have been my liquid choices for a while now. When I went to Publix to purchase meat, I decided to pick up two flavors of Ocean Spray juice. After one cup, my body immediately informed me that it is too sweet for my consumption. Publix had a refund on its hands. This was never a problem before the introduction of organic juice from Brother’s Farmers Market. Its amazing to me how quickly personal taste can change.
There are journals from college that have references to the beach. There was a desire to spend more time there. Its funny that many of us complain about the traffic or time it takes to get there; including myself. However, there are people that travel from all over the world to enjoy its beauty. This summer has found me visiting the beach more often in spite of myself. Vacation time can make a girl quite lazy.
I went to the beach twice this week. One evening found me driving there to simply enjoy the mere sight of it all. The sensation of the wind against my skin was exhilarating. There were not a lot of people, and the heat was not present. It was relaxing and beautiful. The moon was at its halfway mark as the sun fell. While staring at a cloud, a plane flew into the middle of it. Lights started flashing. When it happened again with the sound of rolling thunder, I quickly found myself en route to my car. It was a moment in nature with amazing results.
After the alligator incident at Walt Disney, an angry feeling took over me. I felt as if Facebook was a monstrous machine. Last year, Rachel was all the rage. Between the gorilla and the alligator and then Orlando, (RIP), the ongoing rampage of news was entirely too much for me to take. My business pages were set to redirect people to my phone number and email address. I logged out and deleted all of the FB apps from my phone. Where is the Zika virus? There are still homeless people on the street, and new HIV infections daily. For some strange reason, I do not hear about these issues anymore. Is it because they no longer exist or is it because they are no longer deemed newsworthy? Which entity is responsible for making the decision about what is stuffed down our throats?
People have been telling me that I look smaller. Are you losing weight? ME?! I have not exercised in months. Food is something that I enjoy without any regulation. How does this regimen contribute to a smaller me? Who knows. However, the inspiring comments prompted me to walk for exactly thirty minutes this evening. This physical activity was followed by a home cooked meal. I am so proud of myself.
Lately, I have been exhausted. It has not been one thing running me into the ground but the entire scene. My work day was extended because of the training I was facilitating for upcoming student performances. My social endeavors have been maintained with at least one event a week and none of this includes my own performances. After the insomnia subsided, my body was left in a vast wasteland.
I have sought the refuge of solitude during the day, and a hot bath at night. A 90 minute massage has greatly assisted along with some time to myself. Appointments have been postponed and some engagements were delegated elsewhere. This day has been spent in a slow cycle of peace and reflection. The summer vacation looms on the horizon like a giant donut sign.
Everyone should be lucky enough to have that one friend with whom you can converse about anything: fears, hopes, dreams, ambitions. Whenever such a person is around, it makes you feel as if something magical is happening. A friend of this nature is similar to you in nature and wants the best for you. There in good times, there in bad times. Always standing by your side, quietly loving you from a distance when necessary but always there. The interesting thing is that I never knew this person was the kind soul that I now know as an amazing ally. There are many things in this lifetime that will be called mistakes; however, my alliance with this kind soul has benefitted me in ways that can not be expressed in words.