How many times have you heard a friend, sister, aunt, or even yourself…complain about how unhappy she is in her relationship. These are some common phrases: I want a divorce; I have invested the best years of my life to this relationship with nothing to show for it; Who would want me now. However, when the opportunity presents itself for her to change her situation, she does not. She chooses to stay and wallow in her unhappiness. Why? Why does she complain, cry, and bemoan her doorless cage?
My only conclusion is that it is easier to remain miserable. True change requires extreme effort. Genuine work has to take place. It is a rare individual indeed that can look at her life and say no. My story does not continue like this. It requires less effort to make excuses that at some point you actually believe to placate the very thing that breaks your heart over and over again. There are side affects to making such changes. For one thing, the true colors of those that are around you are shown.
When you are unhappy, you radiate at a lower vibration. This makes many people comfortable around you because they have company to complain with. There is another body at the bar. There is a permanent friend to face the struggles of life. However, if you decide that an unhappy relationship is no longer for you, there is more than leaving that person. You may not have as much in common with your former drinking buddies. The drunken Happy Hour calls cease because you have to get to yoga. Instead of complaining, perhaps you have sought the assistance of a therapist who helps you understand why you chose this person to begin with. This leaves you with little to share with people that were once held captive by your tales of woe. The fried food that once kept you locked in high blood pressure has vanished in favor of live food and lemon water.
This can be shocking to friends and family alike. You begin to thrive and your vibration rises. Some people will be tickled pink about all of the sunshine in your life. You have chosen to break free from your chains and truly live. Others will despise and attack you. “Who does she think she is, living her best life…”. There may be arguments and other break ups. Why? If you found your sunshine, your light now shines too bright into the darkness of your former mates. They resent you for leaving them behind in their bitterness.
There is a lesson to be learned from all sides with such a situation. When you have an individual in your life that wants to be crestfallen for eternity, it is your responsibility to let them. If you choose to stick around and listen to the tales of woe, make certain that you are doing something to uplift yourself once all of that energy has pierced your bubble. If you are the one that wants to be happy, the first step is hope. The first step is to know for a fact that change has to happen. Once you make that decision, the entire universe will conspire to help you. Lawyers appear. Someone suggests a boom from Oprah’s list. You win a retreat that shows you a whole new world.
If you are the unhappy one that wants to remain in the mud, someone will be present to listen to you. Once your old friends get tired of it, new ones tend to appear and sympathize with you. There will always be company for your misery. The rest of us are here silently hoping that you choose a better life for yourself. However, we are also out here living our own. Choose wisely. Choose happiness.
She was dressed in all white for the tea. As my song came to an end, she shared her enthusiasm for my performance. She requested my info in case she married again. I smiled and said that it could happen. Her response was that she was 86. I blinked and said , “And…”. This is where the story gets interesting. She divorced her sole husband at the age of 26 and never remarried because she simply could not deal with people. I felt my eyes grow wider as my entire being focused on this fascinating information. Now at age 86, men are chasing her and she does not know if she wants a boyfriend. This woman put my entire life into perspective in a matter of five minutes.
I have spent many years of my life alone. My thirties were all about me and my life. The time to focus on myself and develop in any way I chose was present. It was a beautiful gift that many women have wished for but will never receive. By the same token, I have never been that girl to always have someone at my side. People from high school know me as the girl that no one wanted to be with for whatever reason. I am simply not on the love radar. There have been several relationships in various forms.
At this stage of the game, I hope that there is someone that God intends for me. Life is better with someone you love. While my heart has been the victim of many an unfathomable relationship, there is still that small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there just for me.
Good morning ladies. On this our second day of relaxation, we are given time to ask for what we truly want. Is it a life of leisure? More time to pursue that elusive interest? Maybe, you just want a nice long nap. Figure out what you truly want for your life and then break it down into smaller increments. What do you want for yourself this week? What about today? If there is a phone call involved in this plan, make it today. Honor you own wishes and set the world on fire. One Love. Crystal.
At any given time during the day, there are a million personalities, interruptions, and annoyances that I have to field. It is a grueling task. With so many people to deal with hour after hour, I am often drained prior to the end of the workday. It causes me to seek shelter solo. My car suddenly turns into a sanctuary where no one can reach me. However, this week has been different.
There seems to be an inner calm that lays within me. No, I am not a walking Buddha, but I do not feel quite as perturbed by daily fires. Instead of flying off the handle while observing a useless argument, I interrupted it with, “I love both of you. Forgive each other and move on. We are a family.” My personal space is often ignored. Questions are hurled at me. Instead of grimacing, I can look the individual within the face and respond with a very cool demeanor. Perhaps many people require medication to attain this feeling. I simply need yoga.
The dreaded mornings have not been as horrible. Since adding a brief yoga practice to the morning shuffle, the sleepy haze has vanished. People can address me without my spirit being completely destroyed. A smile is on my face vs. a depressed pout. I am empowered to take on my day and win. As my body lays there on the mat, goals form, and I claim victory as my own.
By tweaking the beginning and end of my days with yoga, I have discovered a new healing. That inner voice is often drawing very solid conclusions. My lovely instructor has taken on a new importance in that she is hearing about all of this on a daily basis. She supports and guides me with a sisterly love laced with compassion. It is a whole new world filled with a gentle lift. Life is simply easier to handle. Emotional baggage has been addressed with this practice. Tears continue to cleanse the disappointments and regrets that life has served.
Yoga is much more than complex contortions and pants. A journey down this road can lead to amazing discoveries of self and add that extra layer of comfort that you did not even know existed. A price can not be placed on it.
There I sat on my mat. My breath connected to my body, and my mind connected to my body. The ancient bridge appeared, and my whole being crossed over into being complete. Tears flowed as the gentle healing began to envelope my body. As I stood to greet the sun, my salutation commanded several movements to complete the phrase. My body has finally found a way to acclimate itself to the outside world. Ten minutes of basic yogic postures and a complete transformation has happened.
Instead of being easily annoyed by people throughout the day, a negative reaction is delayed. While the multi tasking and varying personalities still drains me, the process is not as victimizing. By understanding that my day must be started and ended with more intention, I have overcome many obstacles before they even begin.
My afternoon was spent browsing through yoga articles. Its amazing to me that all of this has taken place within the span of the week. My next thought is to see how I can allow yoga to infiltrate other areas of my life. Time shall tell how I am able to use this ancient practice to help me live.
Good morning ladies. Life is filled with emotions based on the trials and tribulations that we experience. It is such a relief to know that we often have the tools to deal with them if we are just aware of what is available to us. You are an infinite being with many talents and resources right at your fingertips. There isn’t a single situation that can’t benefit from a hug, modest reflection, or even a brisk walk around the block. Consider yourself armed and ready for anything that comes your way. Walk in love knowing that you are fully empowered.
Lately, I have been crying hours after yoga has ended. It is a normal occurrence which intrigues me. Having experienced a wide range of side effects due to such a practice, this one intrigued me. The frequency of it alerted me to a deeper process that was perhaps taking place within me. A serious healing was taking place and gently coming to the surface. A healer described it to me as energy pathways being opened up as blockages were being removed hence the emotional cleansing. The clarity of thought and conclusions being drawn have been immense. The interesting thing is that these thoughts happened during my self practice which I have never done before.
In an effort to gently introduce my body to the day, I started doing a few yoga poses upon waking. My eyes would well with tears and different sensations in my body would happen. Understanding my own body and what was taking place was tremendous. The changes were not hidden to me. The opening of what I did not even know was closed was apparent and all of this took place without pain. Naturally, some discomfort was present but this is when you are pushed out of that zone.
My instructor would always encourage me to dig just a little deeper during class which is something that I would avoid. I thought it was enough for me to simply show up and attempt to go through with the movements. However, on my own, her words rang in my ears as I felt myself able to hold the pose a little longer. This is a far cry from the person that thought yoga was boring over a decade ago.
It is a Sunday morning, and my body is sore and open. There is a palpable diagonal line that connects me to the Earth. The soreness is not overwhelming but strong enough to make me remain in reflection mode. My renewed curiosity about crystals makes sense now. Energy is something that must constantly be studied in its various vehicles, with my own body taking priority. It is a journey of questions and discoveries. It is a journey that I intend to pursue with a new intention and an expanded mind. My world has been alerted.
I did everything right. I graduated from college and got a job. There were no babies calling me mommy and drugs were called Ibuprofen. My teeth were cleaned every six months and the PCP saw me once a year for my annual physical. Women looked at me and said #adulting goals. One very specific element eluded me without my knowledge…I had no idea how to be a woman.
Grace was not something that existed for me. My mother always told me that I was too rough in my manner or too strong. Dancing was completely out of the question for me and I tended to “flop” about. Quiet, introverted, shy, and pained by the presence of people; that was me. Fortunately, world cultures captivated my attention which led me to the discovery of Middle Eastern Dance.
At one point, I was dancing at least twice a day in addition to privates, performances, and Pilates. My eyes were firmly planted on studying in Egypt. It was my life. It completely took over. Other women that were also mesmerized became my friends. We would attend workshops and different dance festivals. We would support each other at different performances in between costume fittings and hookah time. It was not long before my first full moon drum circle invitation appeared. It was the pure essence of primordial energy.
Between the natural movements and hypnotic music, the dance form helped me express what could never be put into words. Sensuality found a definition, and I was used as an example of grace during class. It was my honor to then become an instructor which helped me share the wonderful gift of this dance that was created for women by women.
In short, it taught me how to be a woman. Your mother can only show you so much if anything about this and in retrospect, I was completely lost. Bellydancing saved me from the grips of toxic masculinity and introduced me to myself on so many levels. Perhaps the most important one being was that being feminine is an art form to be celebrated every single second of every single day.
There she stood. Grouchy as a toad. It was first thing in the morning, and the smile simply was not there. Her day was surely destined to crash and burn. I have seen her job and this stance was completely understandable. She is always being interrupted while facing daily deadlines while dealing with unruly adults. I stopped heading for the front door and decided to go back around and give her a hug. She is a friend after all, and is simply a positive person in a funk…before 9am.
“Let’s take a picture together…” came from my mouth as I reached for my cell. The next thing I knew, three other women tried to jump in the picture. We had to try all sorts of angles to get the wide smiles into the frame. When we finally achieved our goal, everyone walked away laughing. It was not until later that day that I realized….a simple gesture on my part had changed the energy of the room.
As an adult, I have come to realize that I always hated when my mother would try to talk to me about personal matters: my first kiss, my first boyfriend, always asking questions about my menstrual cycle. In my opinion she simply was not the right person to have an open conversation with and still is not. Why?
Imagine wanting to have a genuine conversation with an individual that is supposed to automatically be on your side. Now you hear criticism that is not constructive for every action or feeling that you have followed by negative commentary. Throw in unsolicited advice here and there for situations that were never brought to said individual’s attention. Why on earth would anyone subject themselves to such misery?
Serious relationships have come and gone. Pain and heartbreak. Joy & euphoria. None of it has been shared with her. I look at other mother daughter relationships and admire how close they are. What is it like to have a mother that is fierce with her support of her daughter? Even without this important relationship in my life, there are still many blessings.
There are other maternal women that treat me like their own daughters. There are friends that treat me more like family than a friend. Such bonds help me to remain thankful for the life that I have and the people that I know. There is more to life than a text or FB messenger.