The hole was hungry, and I was the food. There was no way out. Everything that I tried failed. Resources where withering away. Appointments were rescheduled. Merchandise sold but the funds were on hold. People wanted to book for their events but had to review sponsorship. Waxing and the cleaning lady were canceled. Suddenly, food became an alarming issue along with gas. Bills fell to the wayside. At least the mortgage was paid. There was nothing else for me to do.
Under normal circumstances, a grown woman in such a dire situation would reach out to her significant other or even her family for assistance. There is not a significant other, and my mother chooses to look down at me as a peasant. The women on Biscayne Blvd and 70th street came to mind. While trying to remain calm, I knew that there had to be people that I knew that would object to such thinking. I reached out to them. Cash App dinged within seconds.
This is called survival mode. As each passing minute slides by, I have to figure out how to take care of all of my responsibilities. It can be a rather overwhelming situation which can leave a girl feeling hopeless and completely alone. Fortunately for me, there are a trusted few that refuse to let me hit rock bottom without a pillow. All I have to do is have enough food and gas until next week Thursday. I can do this.
Sunday: A Moment in Self Affirmation
In life, there will be moments when you must realize that God has designated something just for you. It could be a person, an experience, or maybe even an opportunity.
Do not block your blessing by sharing it with others or posting it on FB. Backlash and jealousy lurk all around like lions after wildebeest on the Serengeti. All you need is for the wrong finger to dip into your pot of gold and the stench of tarnish shall slowly rise to the surface.
Cover yourself with an abaya. Understand that an under layer is key to your development. You do not have to reveal all that you are. You have value and carry it with you in all arenas. It isn’t about leaving others out. It is about allowing yourself to hold the key to get in. Be well lovely women.
The sounds of a horrible crash awakened me from my sweet slumber. My eyes opened with curiosity. What the hell happened? As I rushed to the window, the imaginary black cat meowed behind me. It wasn’t long before an ocean of red lights flickered frantically as assistance was required. My head shook from left to right as I sauntered off to sleep.
As my eyes opened again, the realization of three dreams popped up and I began to work on them. Breakfast soon followed with the thought that Saturday is going to be amazing. I’m headed to Naples today for a performance. It is the only productive thing on my schedule today. This makes me proud.
Long gone are the days when I would work myself to a pulp only to show up frazzled and incomplete. When I need a break, I take a break. If a certain area of my life is going to become hectic, everything else must die down. Self preservation is important because the world will continue with or without me. This is a lesson that I learned in my last decade.
As you improve the quality of your life, make certain that you are also taking care of your life……
Sometimes, it is best to escape everything in your life. You have to schedule time to get out of your own head. Just sit in silence and think of absolutely nothing. Form a bubble around yourself and just exist if only for a moment. Such a retreat is healthy and can help you get through the daily hustle.
You can have your lunch in a park. Go into a church and enjoy a reflective moment. Maybe that coffee shop around the corner has the perfect cup for you and afternoon solitude. Whatever floats your boat, use it to your advantage.
Multi tasking during the prayer line helps me accomplish what may be subtracted from my day if it is left for later. Light exercise and vitamins begin from go. Whenever a valuable gem is dropped during the call, I stop and write it down.
After deciding that some immediate changes were made, my door knocking hours were adjusted to embrace the evening. I have to catch people while they are at home because they are not going to return phone calls. Appointments were made for tomorrow with a few knocks in and around town.
A veggie lunch soon followed complete with filtered water. Clothes were washed. Clothes were folded and put away. A brief review with the app and my manager sent me out the door ready for my potential grandmother.
The tone was somewhat hostile; however, this was progress. People were home to open the door and a conversation was held. While I did not get to present or close, I was able to compile lots of information based off this visit. Success comes in different forms.
Look at the schedule that enables me to take care of myself and work without duress. A personal appointment was easy to handle today because permission was not needed from a boss. Coverage was not a necessity. The only thing that was required was that I needed it. Such freedom is very uplifting.
As the sun prepares to leave, my green shirts are being washed for tomorrow. My healthy meal awaits me, and tea shall round out this day. Perhaps a phone call or two, another round of yoga, and an early bedtime. You can use business endeavors to make yourself a priority in order to better serve yourself and others.
There I was. My green shirt was ironed, and all of my supplies were in my car while driving around Broward County. While approaching the gate phone, it was unclear whether or not I should attempt to see the next client. I thought about calling my manager for back up and realized that it was okay to try. My phone call was met with anger and an abrupt end mid conversation. It was best for me to retreat and reconvene with this situation under guidance. Before my next client, a funeral home came into view. A new stop was added to my list.
My hands searched for my print media prior to letting myself out of the car. I could not remember if this particular audience would even want my services. It was decided that there was nothing for me to lose. My car was already here. Go inside. A warm welcome awaited me on the inside with additional information for me to connect with the funeral director. The chance that gave me a moment of doubt was a success; not because I was able to leave my cards. It was a success because I walked in the door in spite of the doubt.
While driving to the next client, my mind went back to the morning prayer line. The two things that I wrote down were: (1.) Understand where the mindset of the client and (2.) Reach out to your upline. My manager is on standby to answer whenever I call, and if she can’t…I can expect a phone call asap. The next client was difficult to get to due to no parking and a walk on a street without a pathway. Between my white umbrella and the need for physical movement, I made it to the door. It was time for a break. Lunch in my own home was required.
My legs were killing me. Thoughts about quitting because this wasn’t for me were running rampant. I understand why people maintain desk jobs that drive them insane. All of this work, and I have yet to get a check. Downtrodden was I until the reflection of the prayer line resurfaced. You are not used to this yet. That is why your legs hurt. You are going home for lunch. You can’t do that with a 9-5 job. People do want to talk to you; maybe your schedule could change to better accommodate them. Your manager is going to call you back in between clients.
The evening has progressed. Lunch, shower, and hot tea have all done me a world of good. After connecting with my manager, I want to go back into the field this evening. It just takes the right knock at the right time for me to finish the entire equation. The key is to not allow the obstacles to shut me down. While trying to help people, I can also help myself. My green shirt is on, and the bags are packed. Off I go.
Monday: A Moment of Fear
Fear is something that can cripple you. You can keel over from fright never to return. The bravest of warriors have fear in their hearts; however, what makes them legendary is that they have the courage to push through it and win. We are no different.
When you stop to think that we as women can bring forth life, that is an awesome power given to us by our creator. Many of us multi task as if we are running Fortune 500 companies. It is perfectly natural to be a little frightful especially when stepping out of your comfort zone. The part that distinguishes you from the rest of the pack is that you continue to step anyway.
Love & light,
Crystal A. Sawyer
You have to give thanks for the little things in life that cause you to laugh. Such joy can inspire a generous release of trapped energies that have nowhere to go. When you feel lighter, you act lighter. With your burdens laid by the riverside, you are empowered to tackle the predicaments of life and perhaps truly enjoy that Margarita. Laugh hard and laugh often. It is good for your body. It is good for your spirit.
A Word from the Book of Crystal
A sense of accomplishment is priceless. A feeling of doing something worthwhile is not found in your local store or on Amazon. It requires extreme effort, unending dedication, and a focus that defies gravity. Such a combination attracts success. There are many failures; it just means that you return to the same formula and rework the approach. It can be applied to every aspect of life: Love, career, family, education, or anything else that you can think about. What would you like to accomplish by the end of the year? What accomplishment do you want to brag about?