The dream guides and goal setting for 2020 may be awash in the wake of an uncertain reality. My own personal dreams and desires have certainly been resent for another draft. The world has changed over night which affects all of us on a large level as well as a smaller level. What a time in which we exist.
This is a time that is very much like the winter. Animals hibernate. We take on an extra layer of warmth to protect ourselves from the cold. Warm liquids are consumed. The world slows down ever so slightly and we spend time reflecting upon ourselves and those around us. The word retrospection becomes popular.
While that is unknown is a definite threat, the infinite amount of blessings that we are receiving are beautiful. Families are spending more time together. Couples that are used to a frenzied lifestyle are together at a comfortable pace. Communities are coming together to take care of all of its members. More phone calls are taking place without interruptions.
For the first time in a very long time, the human need for a true connection is being fulfilled in the most meaningful of ways. Isolation may be the word of the day; however, unity is the final destination. Old friends are reconnection and enemies are laying down their weapons if only for a time.
My fb memories showed me my birthday picture from three years ago. It was such a happy time in my life. An old flame had returned to my life and joy was everywhere I turned. My mother gathered my friends for dinner at my favorite restaurant. I dined on delicious meatloaf and creamy potatoes. It was quite a time for me.
My how life has changed. The perpetual single status rises like the sun and social media is ablaze with the new words: social distancing. My favorite restaurant closed some time ago. It wouldn’t be open to the public now in our current climate. Friends are unable to gather in person. Video apps are all the rage.
There are many wonderful things that are taking place. Mother Earth is healing. Animals are returning I certain spaces that they had previously abandoned. My career is able to continue thanks to on line learning. I have more time to pursue the things that are important to me. I still contemplate the meaning of my life on a daily basis. Yoga and prayer start the morning without the anxiety of staying on schedule due to traffic.
I will admit though that something is missing. While I’m quite prepared to live a life in this current era, there is an untouched aspect that has yet to rise to the surface. It is not a person. Perhaps, it is a thing. This will require deeper reflection and exploration to figure out.
In the meantime, I shall choose a birthday outfit and have a slice of cake. Birthday greetings started yesterday as people want to wish me well. Life is precious. We can choose to make the best of it or live in misery. Since this is the renewal of my life cycle, I can’t help but to be positive about how I currently live. I encourage everyone to find that beautiful spot in their daily lives and revel in it. This too shall pass. Be well.
The world has lost its mind. So many questions with regards to soap. Why does every single corporation feel the need to email me regarding their cleaning practices? Shouldn’t you have done this when you gathered my info for marketing?
In the middle of it all, I welcome the new opportunities that are being presented. Suddenly, I’m working from home and providing instruction online. Isn’t this what I have been wanting? This sudden change in routine will be an interring adventure for me to navigate.
More time can be spent doing the things that I want to do for myself.
As the world rages on with its insanity, movie binging and popcorn seem very healthy to me. While I laugh at the funny Lysol meme, I’m also staying in touch with family and friends via video. Cooking is replacing UberEats and more grounding exercises will occur.
Relax. Check out from social media. Call a friend and talk about everything but the topic of the day. Take this time to focus on things that improve your life. Meet your own needs. Pray. Sleep. Dance naked….whatever. Just find a way to have some fun.
It was a feast for my small ears to consume. Layers upon layers were unraveled and dissected for all to chew. It was raw information that was meant to inspire and motivate you to the next level.
Lately, I’ve been spending time admitting to myself that I want certain things in my life. It was okay to erase the fear in wanting more. There was another category where I wanted to be. My pencil politely wrote what was desired. It could no longer hide in the recesses of my mind.
My eyes watched as beautiful person after beautiful person heaped real world knowledge upon my plate. Cutlery was pushed to the side as I dug in with my hands. There was no time for journaling as my phone was heard clicking away with the info.
Manifestation. Vision. Talks with God. Community. Tribe. Time. Train. Study. These were the words that were used to help put together a plan for that scary next level. How does one attain it exactly?
There is not a single universal blue print for everyone to follow. Simply put, you have to follow the dictation of your own journey. What works for one is completely wrong for another. The wonderful thing about each journey is that it is ever changing and inclusive in that it also involves the people around you.
You have something to offer that is unique to you. That should be embraced and shared with the entire universe. Cultivate it. Tweak the rough edges. Gather resources and put together a team that has your best interest at heart.
One thing that I would like to do is to sit down and identify the members of my community. I have tribe but life can make you feel quite lonely at times. You need people around you that believe in your purpose. You have to know whom is invested in you.
As the feast neared the final course, I wondered how I would share this with others. It is a simple question. What do you want for yourself that you have trouble saying aloud? Whatever it is, that is what you need to go after. We get this one life time and it is not a dress rehearsal. Go after it at all costs.
Now, it is time for some wine……
“Breaking Point Survival
Overwhelming is the word of the week. Busy is an understatement and sleep has taken on a deeper meaning. The dreaded alarm waits in the distance while the search for a personal chef continues. However, a new trend has begun.
I am telling people young and old alike how to avoid annoying me. It is not rude or disrespectful to explain your boundaries to people. They may not be aware of how annoying they are and need to be told. Otherwise, the problem persists and you are the one with the pain in your neck because of your body clenching whenever they approach.
When spending my hard earned money on items, I am requesting the full extent of assistance. A designer made changes to a skirt and delivered it to my home this week because I did not have time to return to the store. Her partner has a blouse that I want. I asked if I could pay extra for shipping. The Zelle request is sitting in my inbox.
My personal favorite is the follow up. Don’t do it and don’t allow it to kill you. If someone wants something from you, they will go through the process of communicating with you. You do not have to inquire about anything. That responsibility falls on them. The only way that perhaps this should be flexible is when there is money involved for your pocket. All of us are busy beings. It is too draining to try and accommodate everyone and everything. This is especially important because most people are unable to make sense of their own inadequacy to form basic requests in a timely fashion without interrupting your flow.
Although I won’t receive flowers or chocolate tomorrow, I will be content. The best present right now would be for me to wake up and have absolutely nothing to do. A catered lunch with sparkling lemonade would send me over the full moon…..”
After a long hard day of work, my bed consumes me whole. Another couple has started their new life together after dining on a seven course meal. I have just finished my third bowl of popcorn and wish that a coke would fall from the sky.
There are different tweaks in my life now. There is a new flow. A store has an outfit waiting for me because I called ahead with specifications. The salon doesn’t see me on the weekends. Monday is much more my speed because it is completely empty. Nails? Well, once I return…she is by appointment only.
A new assistant joined my mission this week. However, as days go by, I am realizing that I need one for my personal life as well. Can someone bring me the popcorn and coke from the kitchen? That is too much of a task for me while laying in bed. Maybe she could also make that phone call that I keep putting off.
It is true. Sheer exhaustion makes me feel sorry for myself. As a child, my mother was obligated to keep me going. As an adult, I am obligated to keep me going. Between the demands of work and work, sometimes that is an impossible feat.
How exactly am I supposed to face another day of challenges and to do lists? My skin has to remain moisturized and a proper diet should be in place too?
Perhaps the worst part is that all of us feel like this in some way shape or form. Unfortunately, because we are caught in our own chaos, we do not bond anymore. Live conversation has been replaced with text messages. You learn about a dear friend’s accomplishment via a fb post. I have had to tell some of you to call me before I see you with a ring on your finger on a screen.
There used to be drum circles on the beach. My sister and I would dance all night under the full moon. Impromptu happy hours, Starbucks runs, and dinner at the now defunct Soyka. There was the now legendary night that I kissed the chef….
Life will never cease with her twists and turns. Some days are slow while other phases are intense without any cool air or even a drop of cool water for your face. Keep going. You got this. Remember to breathe. Pause to reflect. Adjust that crown, and push forward.
The Niche: Why It Is Special
There is one area where you excel. You are known for doing it and people seek you out as an expert. It could be cooking. Others are exemplary mothers. Some people handle money with finesses while others yet can help people better understand themselves. You may even have complimentary areas that are awesome that support this one area where you are the absolute epitome of perfection. This is your nice.
It is special because you are the one doing it. Your niche brings you money and supports your entire life. It is not your side hustle; it is your 24/7 grind. You live it as a life. The very air alone brings in new ideas to enhance this specialty that just does it for you.
Time and a decent mentor can show you how to work it. Do you want to improve your skills? Call your mentor for a session. Travel to that conference in Washington state. Schedule a lunch with a colleague and chat about everything and nothing. My best professional development was held this morning talking to a colleague while driving to work.
Customized apparel can help you bring attention to your business while capturing yourself as well. You have to do everything possible to help you think about improving upon yourself. It is a daily agenda. Some days will be better than others. Productivity is not a daily necessity. I said that aloud. You are supposed to crash once or twice a week just to maintain your mental sanity. Self care is not a new term to be splashed around by middle class America. It is an actual thing that everyone is supposed to do in some way shape or form everyday. You want to be able to start with a fresh foundation in order to fully embrace the life that you call your own.
Now that I have said all of that, what is your niche? Where do you fit? Where are you going? Maybe you are standing still. Some of you are standing still trying to figure out where to go. All of these positions are valid. However, as a woman in a society that is tearing down the antiquated ways of the patriarchy, reach out and touch a resource to help you along your way.
It’s Time to Remove My Bra
It is merely the second day of the week, and the bed has engulfed my body. My body screams from symptoms of stress while silently praying for an immediate detox. Personal space is invaded daily with the understanding that I am simply another link in a very long chain. This game will never change.
As the bed settles just a little more, my mind races across goals that should be set and lists that should be written. Tea has been scheduled and my eyes have settled on a new jumper that shall make its debut tomorrow. The grandmother look simply doesn’t suit me and the quest to break out of the nursing home look has been ignited. Where am I going to? Do I like the things that life is showing me?
Arguments rage on over the Super Bowl halftime show while I still make pennies every hour. There is someone that needs a kind word. There is a hug that should be had, and the wish of a vacation. No one in the world can move me quite like this journey of mine. Rocky? Yes. Conventional? No.
Owls now keep me company and there isn’t a daughter or husband in sight. My existence is still valid. My voice is still clear. Unwavering and firm. Forward shall I go into the great unknown. Wednesday beckons unto me.
The Taxation of the Mind
This week has had it all. Grief, complaints, hunger, headaches, vaginal questions, low budgets and the ever popular favorite, the contemplation of life.
There I sat on a Sunday afternoon in shock over a man that I barely knew.
By Tuesday morning, the recurring conversations about the tragedy had taken hold and my threshold was met; I couldn’t take it anymore. Conversations were silenced. The radio was turned off. Social media was removed. It was just me and a bed looking for sleep while praying for peace.
Have you ever just stared at your desk wondering what in the hell am I doing? In walks Wednesday in all of her glory. Yet another presentation ahead to be prepared to impress my one my only, my boss. Le sigh. Why I even managed to sketch the outline for my personal year. Goals are everything when you can touch them in bold color.
Thursday with her maddening effect and grueling grind brought me to the doorstep of Dunkin Donuts begging for caffeine/fuel on a Friday morning. Here I lay. My meanderings a mere memory from yesterday as I try to grasp the direction of my life.
Is the direction right? Can I be more? Will the NFL give me money? Yes and hell to the no. None of this stops the earth from moving around the sun. The seconds are still going tick tock on the clock. My life is still my own to live as I see fit. What I see, is a protection of self and glasses of wine….a bottle.”
A Gentle Reminder
Last year was all about stripping away all of the fat and fluff, to get to the heart of the matter: me, myself, and I. It was a massive analysis of each life department and how to maintain it. It will take the remainder of my years to truly complete such a task. However, on Friday, a gentle reminder ensued.
When you make a woman smile, the world changes. Others benefit from her glow and the heaviness of the earth lifts ever so slightly. I made two videos of picture complications of friends and their work. I sent it to them. The emotions that followed were unreal. Confidence levels increased and they saw themselves as I see them: talented fierce individuals that are here to combat the patriarchy with their respective purposes.
We are living in a time when sexual harassment is being busted wide open. Men are finally learning the hard way that they can not exploit women for their own pleasure without paying a dire price for it. Women are entering politics in record numbers and holding key positions. STEAM is all the rage and little girls are aspiring to become airplane pilots instead of a flight attendant. The world truly is our oyster as the manly norms are slowly being chipped away.
It is important to remember that while all of this is taking place, we have to continue to adjust our crowns. Every day is not filled with roses and chocolates and when it is, we get fat. Many days are about the grind. Meet the deadline. Execute the flawless presentation. Get both clients in before the conference. This is why the word balance is so very popular. You can not be busy all of the time and you have to rest without feeling unproductive. Napping is my favorite hobby.